Is arguing bad in a relationship?

Question

Me and my bf been together for 1 1/2 and we are always arguing because he cheated on me and i always bring it up. but is that i cant forget what he did to me and sometimes he gets agresive. what should i do? i love him

Answer 1

dump him, obviously you won't be able to get over the fact of what he did to you..so you will constantly argue....find a guy who is nice

Answer 2

1 1/2 years, or months? I assume you mean years. Arguing is a two sided blade. It can be healthy because it clears the air. And then it can be bad for the relationship if you keep arguing over and over again for the same reason with no resolution to the problem.

Forgive and forget. If you can't forget, then keep it to yourself and don't constantly throw it in your b/f face. No matter what, a partner should not be aggressive toward the other. But instead be comforting and understanding. I can understand why your b/f would get frustrated if you say "I forgive" but you don't show it by throwing his mistake in his face. It sounds like there is 2 strikes against this relationship all ready. But, all is not lost. The two of you need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk. Tell your b/f that you truly do forgive him for cheating on you but he needs to prove to you once again his loyalty to you and win your trust back, then give him the chance to do this. He needs to show understanding of your broken heart and assure you he will prove himself to you and be a little more patient. It will take both of you to work at this. It's not all one sided.

Answer 3

Arguing can be healthy in a relationship as long as it isn't constant & is done in a constructive way, not destructive.
You were hurt when your Bf cheated on you, & he was absolutley wrong to do that to you. If you are always bringing it up because you feel the need to punish him for his past indiscretions, then that is destructive.
There is a lot of anger in your relationship. You are angry because of his cheating, I don't exactly know why he is angry, but he's expressing it in an agressive manner.
You will never get the help you need for your relationship here in Yahoo Answers. I strongly recommend that you see a couples councellor to help you work through your difficulties.

Answer 4

Every relationship will have conflict at one point or another - it's unavoidable unless you're dating a vegetable! Arguing is bound to happen as a means to negotiate these conflicts; thereby arguing can be essential to a relationship. It's important to remember that there's both healthy and unhealthy ways to argue, though. Physical violence and holding a grudge are a couple unhealthy aspects of arguing. Compromise and "making up," in contrast, are healthy.

If he both cheats on you and gets physically aggressive, dump the bastard and find someone who'll respect you.

Answer 5

This is a way tough position to be in, girly. I'm so sad that people go through this every day. Arguing can be detrimental. My mom just got remarried, and her and my Stepfather argue so much that they hardly even sleep in the same bed. It's emotionally draining. Luckily, he doesn't touch her, and they get over it, but it still hurts both of them.
If he cheated on you, he's not really worth the pain he will cause you in the future. Granted, you shouldn't bring it up, but there's a reason why you are. I would suggest a therapist, to be quite honest, because none of us know exactly what you're going through, and a therapist gets to a very personal level. If you do this though, and the therapist gives you ample reasons to get out of the relationship, get out. You won't be able to if his temper gets the best of him and he kills you. That's too permanent for all of us to bear. A therapist can solve problems, but he can't change someone who doesn't want to change. Be watchful and use your brain. Your heart is too caught up in the "but I love him" emotion to realize that what he's doing to you could be the cause of your demise. My mom loved her first husband, still does, but he beat her to a bloody pulp and molested their children. Don't let it get that far, because my mom did, and she regrets it. Don't give yourself a reason to regret something in the future. Then it may be too late. Either get a counselor or get out of the relationship. Don't threaten to get out of it, because then he'll act all sweet and kind to you, and that's a cover-up in most cases.
Above all, don't let him hurt you. If so much as touches you, that should be a red flag to get out of the relationship as soon as possible. If he has, break up with him. Easier said than done, but I believe that women are strong and can do it. You can do it, even if you do love him. Get out, I can't say it enough.

Answer 6

Either you forgive him or you don't. If you want to stay with him, them you have to 100% let go of the memory.

My recommendation is that you do not stay with him because not only he will cheat again, but it looks like you will never let go of the memory.

Arguing on a few occasions is not that bad for a relationship, but arguing over the same issue is a huge problem because it means that it will never get fixed.

Answer 7

1 1/2 weeks?, Months?, Years?, It doesn't matter, he cheated and you caught him. There should be no arguing, just alot of begging for forgiveness on his part. He needs to re-earn the trust he lost by showing he is devoted to only you, which will take a long time. You have to give him a chance to re-earn your trust, if you can't then end it and don't waste time arguing about it.

Answer 8

Seems extreme but you need to leave him for just a little while....or at least separate for a week or so. You seem just a tad needy so it'll be healthy for you and give you perspective. Sometimes we get so close to something that we don't realize how it is damaging us.....addiction is a good example, and, at times we can become "addicted" to a person. You need to step back and reevaluate your life and relationship and while separated he will either come to you, or he won't. If he doesn't then it isn't meant to be (right now) and you need to go on with your bad self and start respecting yourself girl. Keep your chin up and take a deep breath and dive into better than ever street, because you're worth it!!! Wooooooo Hooooooo! email me to call me names if you wish. lol, good luck.

Answer 9

Arguing is not bad in a relationship, but your kind of arguments are. FIrst off, he cheated on you and if you can't trust him there is no relationship. You have to leave him. Trust is HUGE in a relationship and there is none in this one, save yourself from another huge heartache and move on. It will be the best for you.

Answer 10

It's hard to let go of the fact that a man has cheated on. If you truly believe he will never do it again, then you need to move past it and work on making good memories together. But if you can't let it go. then it is going to always be a problem in your relationshop.

Answer 11

You should get rid of him. The thing that's wrong with your relationship is not that you argue, but that he cheated and you can't forget that. Getting rid of him is the best thing you could do for yourself, especially if he gets aggressive.