My boyfriend and I get into arguments a lot. I realize that's a warning sign in itself, but hear me out. I avoid confrontations so when things get heated I try to excuse myself. In my mind that's the best way to get out of the situation without tears or anger. Most of the time he will not let me, even if it means blocking a door with his body. In fact, yesterday we had an argument just before a friend was picking me up. I tried to pretend that he won just so I wouldn't keep the friend waiting. He didn't buy it and took away my ability to use the car that evening (for freinds) from - as far as I can tell - spite. It seems he has the need to dominate me, and he can't if I just walk away. Am I overanalyzing the meaning here? Or is this a sign that I should get out now?
2006-11-05 04:38:28 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like you both have issues. He's a control freak and emotionally abusive. You're an avoider and you're enabling his behavior. Get help and get out of that relationship now!
2006-11-05 04:41:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your not over analyizing this at all,if it was his car than he has the right to say no but yes this is a warning sign.I realize that relationships are never ever an even 50/50 at most times but to keep the peace at any cost is just totally wrong,relationships are not all peaches and cream as you know.Its unfair to you to stay with a guy whom wants to control you as this will not let you become the person you want to be in life.I realize your telling us about a single event but if this is a frequent thing you both do your in the wrong place with the wrong guy
2006-11-05 12:56:05 · answer #2 · answered by stygianwolfe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people do not like confrontation. Walking away when the argument is heated is NOT a bad idea. But you should then be able to go back & discuss the matter in an adult manner.
If your boyfriend is treating you this way now, imagine what it will be like should you make it to marriage. He has his "company" manners on now.
We teach people how to treat us. So unless you enjoy this kind of life, get out, NOW. I personally think he's trouble, he needs counselling.
2006-11-05 12:47:49 · answer #3 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That you are even asking is a sign in itself. You know what you need to do you just want justification for it. He has convinced you that you can't even make a good decision for yourself without asking for others help. This only gets worse with time. Eventually you will get tired of being dominated and stand up that is when the real trouble starts. When he either breaks your will or you stand up it will get worse. My only source is personal life experience. Men like this only want one thing to be the one to make all decisions for you and him. He is only happy when he is in complete control. You are a smart woman don't give it to him. You made it without him before and will again trust me.
2006-11-05 12:49:27 · answer #4 · answered by joanne_happygirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with everyone on the GET OUT NOW PART!!!
However, I only see one other person who looked at the whole problem. I will reprint her post in mine, it is a copy and paste quote.
"Sounds like you both have issues. He's a control freak and emotionally abusive. You're an avoider and you're enabling his behavior. Get help and get out of that relationship now!"
The problem is not ONLY with him. YES he has problems, but so do you. Work on it or you will never be happy!
2006-11-05 12:51:15 · answer #5 · answered by cwxmas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out while the going is good. There is a real chance you could get hurt physically, or worse. A relationship tainted with a lot of arguments is definitely not a healthy one, and will get worse. There is someone out there who will respect you and love you, so leave now, and go look for him. Trust me, you'll never regret it. Go well, and God Bless!
2006-11-05 12:45:55 · answer #6 · answered by Scabius Fretful 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you really can't just walk away from a situation like that. You have to talk it out and get the problem out of the way. In my opinion, when you just let him "win" like that, its telling him that he can control you. But Dang!! he's only your boyfriend...and you shouldn't give him that kind of power of you. So YEP! If it were me I'd go ahead and leave!!
2006-11-05 12:45:27 · answer #7 · answered by Rania 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your instincts are right on the money. get as far away from this loser as you can. read up on domestic violence. his controlling behavior is just an early sign of what is to come. i'm sorry and know it will be hard but do what you have to do and good luck to you. there should be support groups out there for you. please know that when you do this he will turn into the nicest guy in the world and be baffled by your behavior but they seldom change and only get worse.
2006-11-05 12:43:55 · answer #8 · answered by bella36 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like you need to end it. Relationships are mutal argeements and compromise. If you are getting into arguments more and more, then it's time to leave. yes there are disagreements in a relationship, but not all the time. It seems like he doesn't want you to be your own person and in a relationship, you have to have your space. I would end it or at least take a break. good luck.
2006-11-05 12:42:37 · answer #9 · answered by ConfusedK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walking away to calm down is always the best answer but some people like to address the issues when they happen.If this has been his way he deals with things you need to rethink the relationship.
2006-11-05 12:51:20 · answer #10 · answered by justturning40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋