wakes all night causing mayhem on the streets of uk and now has just turned round and said at least she's going somewhere with her life look what you did mum got pregnant at 16.. how's that for gratitude and respect?
2006-11-05 04:30:05 · 19 answers · asked by . 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Yes i did get pregnant at 16 but i brought my daughter up in a loving law abiding home with discipline moral guidence and family values..now she's allowing her so called friends to make death threats to me all because she had a 10pm curfew.. She's out of control cos she knows the stupid law in uk is on her side
2006-11-05 04:36:14 · update #1
First understand that sixteen is an age of rebellion and your daughter has a terrific case of it. This would have happed if you had her at sixteen, twenty six, or thirty six. If you want gratitude and respect from her, you have to wait for a few more years. She says she wants to do something with her life, and you well know this will not happen without an education. Where is she going, ask her. Ask her to explain her plans and what she is doing to achieve them. Listen to her answer. She wants something other than what she sees at home and that is normal. If what she wants is something you are not familiar with, offer to research her goal with her. If she has all the answers then she is ready to go to work full time and support herself. Do not accuse her, but if she believes she is ready let her try as soon as you are not legally responsible for her. Till then let her do all her own chores, earn her own money. She doesnt need you - she told you so. Its hard, I know it. I let my son move out as he knew it all, six months later he was back home and MUCH more respectful. Just remember as she gets older you get smarter.
2006-11-05 04:40:37 · answer #1 · answered by fancyname 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Well, Claire, the girl is an adult now and apparently she's going to claim that position. Adults have their own homes, and transportation. Adults provide for their own clothes and food. Adults do not traipse in and out of their parents homes any time they please.
Let your daughter know that you understand that she is an adult now in the eyes of the law and that you know you are going to have to accept that. Tell her you'd like to help her move into her new place. Pack up her stuff and transport it to whatever location she states. Give her a kiss and a 5 dollar bill and say, "Bye, Sweetie."
Then go home. Put new locks on the doors and have new keys made. Maintain this stance. Do Not give her money. Her friends will support her for awhile. Their parents may even take her in. All that lasts a very little time. Kids can't support another kid. Parents want you to support your child. When your daughter begins to get a taste of real dependency, she'll call.
If she can agree to your terms (be reasonable), fine. If she can hold down a job, pay a third of the rent, do her own laundry and housework, then fine. If she can't call a local sheter and have her get herself there. (Also, lugging all your personal belongings from moochee to moochee gets to be a bit much. Anything valuable she owns needs to get locked up until she has her own place and pays rent there. Regularly. )
I know this is hard and she's gone wild and you have no control. Darlin', you have no control. Just trust that she has enough sense not to do herself any injury. Focus on what you need to be doing in a day. Take a weekend off with your husband and remember what is was like not to be neck deep in worry every day. She says she's grown. So be it. For now.
Try to start doing the things you used to enjoy before you became consumed with having to monitor a large adolescent. If she's wandering the streets then eventually the law will pick her up. Leave her there when they call. She's an adult.
I hope I'm not rambling on.....I just would like to make the point that your daughter has just given you your life back. Take it. Enjoy it. She knows where you are.
2006-11-05 06:34:55 · answer #2 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know the laws in the UK, but if I were you, I'd tell her the rules and the consequences for breaking the rules. If she doesn't want to abide by the rules, then there's the door. I know it sounds harsh but you are really doing her a favor. My sister sent her 18 year old to live with me. After 3 weeks without finding a job, I told her she had to be out in a month. She quickly found a job, moved out within a month, and now, at 29, she is the manager of a Wendy's,.
2006-11-05 04:40:07 · answer #3 · answered by lori b 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
no matter if that's predominantly your FH aspect you would elect his mom/mom and father to initiate calling their kinfolk and acquaintances yet make certain they're stern about a diverse reaction. in case you get a voicemail supply them a very last time decrease and say in case you dont listen from them through that date you'll assume they are not coming because you elect a niche on headcount for the reception. also I extremely have had acquaintances with the region that the FH mom and father say "oh properly they're coming" with out RSVP and they didnt finally end up coming and the couple had to devour that cost. to dodge this i might want to tell FH mom and father to call and in the journey that they dont supply an precise headcount they'd ought to pay you back should you do not come yet they assumed might want to come. I hate even as people do not RSVP. there are the form of enormous volume of concepts, the go back playing cards, a telephone call, e mail, people set up wedding ceremony web pages and that's as no matter if that's not important sufficient. So rude.
2016-10-16 07:41:34 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she was my daughter,she'd be on the streets all day as well,because i would throw her out.You had her at 16,don't beat yourself up over it,anyone can make a mistake,& you are now paying for it,in spades.It's time you stopped taking this nonsense from her,let her 'friends' help her find a place to live.You've done your best for her,now it's time to do your best for yourself.Good luck.
2006-11-05 08:11:18 · answer #5 · answered by michael k 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont expect her to be grateful, shes your daughter and she thinks that you owe her a living and everythig else besides. Keep her as close as possible without stifling her. I dont know how to keep her on the straight and narrow ( I worry about going through that when my 10 year old gets older). She will change her tune as she grows and matures. Good luck
2006-11-05 23:29:56 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its sound's like a bit more than just rebellion have you considered she might be on drug's. There is not o lot you can do beside's skull dragging her home she has made her choice it's best to let her go just let her know you love her and will be there for her when she come's to her senses
2006-11-05 08:09:41 · answer #7 · answered by lisac67mc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say this but she needs to be locked up behind bars if she is causing chaos on the streets. and it sounds like she doesnt have her life planned out and she dont have her priorities in line. she needs to take a time out and figure out whats more important life on the street or a mom at 16?.
2006-11-05 05:07:03 · answer #8 · answered by mamas_grandmasboy06 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
erh sorry the uk law is not in charge of your daughter, funnily enough you are!
You want to start disaplining her. you have let her get away with it!
do u have a husband that treats you with respect, as this may be the cause?
2006-11-05 05:16:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ihave every sympathy for you ,i have afriend who is having the same trouble ,but her daughter is only 13. no school ,staying out all night ,and gets no help from any authoritys
2006-11-06 02:32:24 · answer #10 · answered by trich 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋