I left my ex 3 years ago. I now live with my 29 year old daughter and granddaughter. My ex continues to do everything for them. My daughter takes full advantage of this. He drives my daughter as she is attending courses during the day, etc. I told him to get his own life and stop doing so much for her but he won't listen to me and she gets angry at me. He will do errands for her - run to the bank, etc., anything she wants. He is contantly calling her and the baby just to talk. I don't mind him having contact with them but not like this!! It's ok now because I'm not dating but what if I had a boyfriend. I guess I would have to move out. I will NEVER go back with him, if anything, this has made me hate him.
2006-11-05 03:11:39 · 7 answers · asked by sunshine_lady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Things are more complicated. He is not her dad. He was the only dad she ever knew though. Sometimes it scares me as stranger things have happened. And oh yes, I do have a job, I work everyday.
2006-11-05 03:36:04 · update #1
wow it sounds like he doesn't have a life.. and your was the only one he ever knew. .... Maybe getting or hinting around you have someone may hurt him enough to ( move on for a better word) maybe that is the hurt he needs to move on. But it sounds like his self esteem is low enough that he may not get the message. Does your daughter have a clue or is she enjoying the fact that this "dad" figure makes her life easier because she has MAYBE no dad or no spouse. ... It sounds like this guy plays a big part in her life... Does he like her ?? Sounds gross.. but sometimes weird things happen. or is he just not able to let go ? I would tell her ... this is hurting you .. Or better yet get on with your life .. go out .,, not be home and just live and he and your daughters relationship may not have as much bang as it used to .. if your not around as much ... there is not a lot for him and her to have to analyze and talk about..... I say get out of the house ... even pretend to have a life.. and pretty soon .. you will .. and this will be part of the past .. not the present.
BUT you didnt specify if that was her dad .... if it is ... well that is a differnt story... and she needs her dad.. and you still need to get on withthings...
2006-11-05 03:32:25 · answer #1 · answered by zachs mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit being selfish. If your adult daughter is living with you then it's her place as well. It's her father and she should be able to have whatever type of relationship with him that pleases her as long as he is willing. If you don't want him around then either your daughter or you needs to move.
If he wasn't doing anything for your daughter or very little you'd be complaining about that, pointing out what a lousy father he was. You can't have everything your own way when other people are involved, so get used to it.
Edit: He doesn't have to be her biological father to be her dad, as any adoptive parents or step-parents will tell you. Your daughter considers him to be her father and he is acting as a father towards her. Everything I've stated still holds true.
If you want to hate him then go ahead and hate him. But realize you are choosing to hate him, he isn't making you hate him. Nobody can make you do anything unless they are holding you down and forcing you. You choose how you react to a person, they don't make you react that way.
2006-11-05 11:20:06 · answer #2 · answered by marklemoore 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
now wait a second here, now that your daughter is an adult your talking about how he is not her real father and it scares you because stranger things have happened????? that should have been something you thought about long ago. well, it sounds to me that you are being jealous. so what if he does all of those things for her, he must not mind doing them so why should you? if this bothers you so much, maybe you should get a place of your own, and worry about how you live your life, not your daughters.
2006-11-05 12:00:41 · answer #3 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is the EX her father?? IF he is, you have NO rights in hell to keep a father from their children or grandchildren.
IF he's an ex boyfriend, or hubby and he didn't raise her, I'd say, you could ask politely. BUT if this ex of yours wasn't her father, but took the time to raise her, then I'd go back to, it's none of your business.
You really need to respect your daughter now, that your in her home. Her actions are none of your business. So what if she takes advantage of having someone do things for her?
IT seems to me, she's doing something for you..........your living in her home!!
Grow up, get your own place, so you don't have to meddle in her's.
2006-11-05 11:21:28 · answer #4 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you didnt say weather your ex is your daughters real father or just a step father. either way she is an adult. if you do start to date again then your date should realize that you had a life before him and explain that your ex is just that an ex. and that all comunications are between him and your daughter im sure that he has a few exs to that may still be around.
2006-11-05 11:25:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you get a job, an apartment, a life of your own?
2006-11-05 11:20:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Other than to hate him, I don't know what you can do about it...
He & your daughter seem to both be ignoring your wishes...
2006-11-05 11:14:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋