he ever doesn't hit his head and kills himself. I developed cancer and he wouldn't go with me fro treatment because he couldn't miss work. he also would fly into a horrible rage when something i cooked wasn't perfect. i never lived with him i just always knew it wasn't a good situation however i thought i would never get someone so handsome.we would make plans to go or do something and he would always come up with an excuse: example to get our picture taken he needed to go hunting instead. He lived with a woman for 20 years and she would never marry him then she left him. his friends all say that i am very attractive but why am i with him he likes big women. i never even thought about that meaning anything until one day i over heard him say that you know the big ones try harder to please you. he also alwaynow i am old enough to know that this is all crap but he calls and says baby i love you and my lonliness lets him back in. how on earth do i get rid of him totally and feel good again
2006-11-05 02:53:42 · 14 answers · asked by elliepenelly 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok hun, first of all you need to recognize that you are in a borderline abusive relationship. Verbal assault and neglect is a form of abuse. What will prevent him from taking the next step and hitting you or something!?
It is clear that right now, you are in a time of need. You say that you are lonely, so the first step is finding some kind of group to be a part of. The good news is, is that there are many groups for women with cancer that you can be a part of. This will help your social aspect.
Now the hardest step for you will clearly be to let him go. It's like standing at the edge of the diving board waiting to dive in right? The hardest part is just doing it. So close your eyes and just do it. You know deep inside that it will be for the best. When you do it, tell your friends and they will help you so that you won't try to go back to him when he tries his sweet talking-because you know he will try to sweet talk you to get back in.
You are a great woman and you don't need to take this kind of crap from him! Take care of yourself, because he clearly won't!
2006-11-05 03:00:01 · answer #1 · answered by b-rad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has mental issues and issues with women. He is also an alcoholic... his insensitivity and anger will only hurt you more down the road. Those things don't resolve themselves - the person has to want help. Remember: just because you are large, doesn't mean you have to live in abuse.... no attention from him is better than abusive attention. Let him go - make a fast clean break...... if you drag it out - you'll be guilted into changing your mind - a lot! You are better than that! Move on - way too much life to enjoy!
Be Blessed!
Be Blessed!
2006-11-05 03:07:46 · answer #2 · answered by ramzee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first start by telling your self that you deserve better, then call him on the phone and tell him that you are no longer wanting to be in this relationship and ask him not to contact you. now you know and i know he is going to call and what not. but most people today have caller id. so, when you see that it is him don't pick up the phone. allow your answering machine to pick it up. you know its what he is telling you that makes you stay so, if your not able to hear what he is telling you, it should make it easier to move on with your life.why would you want to be with someone that could not take at least some time from work to go and get your treatment with you? if he loves you like he says, he would have. also it tells you something that going hunting is more important.
2006-11-05 03:02:51 · answer #3 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of him - even if it means you move to a new town. Then get involved - are there any clubs or charities that capture your interest? Lots of people less fortunate than you could really use your help. The point is - don't be home when he decides to try and rope you in again.
He is a total waste of your time and you deserve better.
2006-11-05 03:01:08 · answer #4 · answered by emmyfair 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walk away! You are only there for his sexual needs! Nothing more! I know that this sounds cruel, and I hate to suggest to someone to leave a relationship, but you have enough on your plate. Find someone that respects you and who appreciates the fine woman you seem to be.
2006-11-05 02:58:13 · answer #5 · answered by the_pharaoh109 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is just so scared to lose, and he acts like that just to hide because he doesn't wanna show ppl that it kills him to see you that way, that's why he keeps himself busy with work and go get drunk so he can forget that. And he actually doesn't know that he is screwing everything us, and when he could be spending time with you he doesn't because it just makes him sad to see you. And maybe he is mad at you. it might sound really strang, but it could be possible. He is mad that you are sick and that something could happen to you so he acts like that.
2006-11-05 03:02:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth that you do not like his habits and if he fails to deviate then get turn and look for some one else. The love is not one sided and if he do not have care for your feeling then it will be better to say good bye to him.
2006-11-05 03:06:35 · answer #7 · answered by hm_pearl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get away from him ASAP. He is abusing you mentally and you will suffer everyday if u stay. If he never married that other girl . hes not gonna marry you .Tell him to go to rehab and stop drinking .Once hes gone from your life you will meet a nice guy who is not abusive !
2006-11-05 03:00:15 · answer #8 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You deserve happiness, don't you? You're the only one stopping yourself from achieving that happiness. Don't "settle" and don't tie yourself to anyone who doesn't make you happy. You need to be free to accept love when it comes along, and it will.
2006-11-05 02:59:31 · answer #9 · answered by PT's Swan Lake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they once told me,,that your just as sick as the one you stay with..i think maybe u need some counceling...or u might just be re-writing the story of 'the burning bed'
2006-11-05 03:03:05 · answer #10 · answered by native,pride 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋