I think that it has happened every single time except once. First, It would start out that I would meet them online, talk to them all the time and then once we started dating, I'd lose interest. Or sometimes we would meet at a party and then once I met them again, I wasn't interested.
In the long term side, sometimes I'll meet a girl I'm head over heals for, for about a few months, then I lose interest. They are good people, but I lose it. Is it something wrong with me or do you think I just need to meet a special person who can keep my interest longer? Have any of you gone through something like this before? It makes me lost faith in love.
What's your advice to help my relationships last longer?
2006-11-05 02:26:33 · 15 answers · asked by b-rad 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That's perfectly normal. In fact, good for you for getting in so much dating you notice it!
The thrill of the chase does make it all exciting when you begin. But as you start dating, that's when you get to know the person. If they aren't exciting to you, then it makes perfect sense that you would get bored. No one finds the love of their life the first time at bat - unless they have exceptionally low standards.
I would suggest that you just have a high standard for yourself. Keep doing what you are doing. Eventually you will find the one that holds your interest.
Until then, have fun!
2006-11-05 02:31:24 · answer #1 · answered by Ciaoenrico 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are more interested or more stimulated in the hunt or the pre-dating part of the ritual. You have to find a way to stay interested in keeping the person around. You may think that the after-dating part of life leading up to marriage is boring or non-eventful or mundane. It does not have to be. Then again you don't want to do things that are too risky would you? Like dating a married woman or a woman who is dating a nut. Or dating a person who likes to do life threatening activities. I am saying whatever excites you about the Hunt, you have to incorporate into the dating part. You can only answer that.
So, what do you have to do? Look and examine what is it about the hunting and wooing a woman up until you meet her in person, that excites or stimulates you. The talking, the cajoling, the sexual innuendoes, the exchange of new info, the whatever? You have to know what to do to keep it going.
I can still be that way. After the initial interest, when you find out more about the other person, you realize that she is not it. Write these things down. What you like about how they act, how much they know, how they talk, how they look and what they do. Then write what these things make you feel about what they.... When you put the 2 together what they do and how you feel then maybe you have a chance to the "ideal" mate.
It's taken in piece meal a long time to figure it out. Dang, if they did not include a manual about this. Fortunately, I had some wise friends along the way. Now, that I finally see it. All the others I met along were not right. I knew by instinct they were not the ones or it would not have lasted. I just had to identify it to myself more clearly. Heck, my longest relationship was almost 3 years, it was over at about 2.5. That 3 month promo period is a killer, now I have it down to about 3 minutes or 3 dates.
Now, I am in a relationship with a Thai woman she lives in Bangkok, Thailand and I live in Los Angeles, yep 7,000 miles away. I have known her almost 2 years, a year ago she said that I am the one. I knew in my heart, 2 years ago when I met her in person and talked in person that she was the one. I just hung in there till we could spend more time together. It is still one of the most fulfilling relationships I have ever have. I am 52 y.o. and she is 26 y.o. she don't mind the age difference and I don't seem to notice it unless I think about it. Years ago it would have bothered me.
If you take the time to intellectually and spiritually examine what you want, want to feel about them, how you want them to feel, how they act, etc. Then you should find one that will last. Some are lucky and instinctly know this stuff. Some like myself has to have it on paper and then pound it in their head. You may be in between, where if you see it once you get it.
Good luck
2006-11-05 02:58:46 · answer #2 · answered by gbdelta1954 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know, for people like you and me, they like to use the term "fear of commitment." I'm not sure how correct they are, but it's something to consider. This is usually due to parents getting a divorce or having a negative influence on the idea of love (fighting alot, having affairs, etc). If your parents had a Pleasantville relationship, I'd aim more at your want to meet a person who can keep your intrigue longer. If you have a type, try straying from it to embrace a new personality. Learning about a person can sometimes promote longevity. Or, if you're not into the whole "what's your favorite color" kind of relationship, try finding someone that is similar to you. Those kind of people usually find you as you go through your daily routine because you already share the same interests. Hope that helps!
2006-11-05 02:33:58 · answer #3 · answered by K-D 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are probably younger and just have not met the right person. You seem to be in the "meet and conquer" mode. Once the thrill of the initial mate and date is over, the relationship has no more challenge. You will meet someone, believe me. There is nothing wrong with dating a lot of people although these days it seems you are supposed to be in love immediately. People who date around are not to be trusted. I think you are doing the right thing. If someone doesnt fit the bill, move on. There is nothing wrong with you. Better to move on then lead someone on.
2006-11-05 02:32:54 · answer #4 · answered by juncogirl3 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Here are a few ideas for you:
1) stop putting girls on pedestals before you know them. when you start out at the top there's nowhere to go but down.
2) check your preference. are you REALLY interested in GIRLS?
3) do you WANT a relationship? Or are you just in it for the chase.....
4) Lower your standards--nobody is perfect, and if that's what you're looking for you'll ALWAYS be disappointed.
Women are no more perfect than you or I. Everyone has faults, you just have to find someone whose faults aren't a dealbreaker for you.
2006-11-05 02:33:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Cud be u r too picky or fussy abt women . U hv certains requirements abt girl . Or maybe u dun find the right person that will drives u nuts . Positively, thats all i can think of. Anyway , just relax when wif girls, treat them as usual ..be gentle.. dun rush ur feelings .. let it spread and grow slowly . slowly but surely . good luck
2006-11-05 02:45:01 · answer #6 · answered by steen_012 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well 2 much is always bad. Take a gap of 6 months and then c, u will find sum1 of the similar interests.
2006-11-05 02:38:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you have set standards and your waiting for a girl that meets it. But i also think that you havent met the right one because when you do everyday will as interesting as the next
(^_^)
Best of Luck
2006-11-05 02:28:27 · answer #8 · answered by justanobservation-notajudgement 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you are all about the hunting and chasing part. Once you get them or think you about have them, they don't interest you anymore. It's all a part of maturity. When you are mature-you will actually settle into a relationship.
2006-11-05 02:30:00 · answer #9 · answered by blonde_bitch_norris 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Need to go through the right meals to find the one you like the best.
2006-11-05 02:29:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋