Ok when i was 18 i lived with this guy for 18 months, we split up coz of his bad temper.
ow i am 26 we are living together again, he was perfect and now....no!
He shouts at me for no reason then goes on about the house we live in and how it is HIS (he owns the mortgage not me) and how the car i drive is HIS (he bought it).
He is obsessed with money, needs to know where all mine goes and shouts all the time.
When he is nice to me i love him so much but when he shouts i dont know what to do...i cry coz it hurts, he calls me a baby, i walk out of the house...he shouts mrore.
Yesterday i did not have his jumper clean and dry ready for work...he shouted :-(
HELP x
2006-11-05 02:18:10 · 20 answers · asked by Flowery 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He has never physically hurt me..im sure he wouldnt but verbal abuse is as bad?
2006-11-05 02:23:28 · update #1
Just to add..i do have a job and i do pay my way, i have quite a large debt and use his bank account. i am struggling and he gets mad for that.
2006-11-05 02:27:58 · update #2
Also i live 30 miles away from my mum and work! My mum is 10 miles away from work. i do not have a car. if i went to hers i would not be able to travel, she lives in the middle of nowhere.i tried to make this our home :-(
2006-11-05 02:31:35 · update #3
I keep adding things to explain better!
He is a plumber by trade, works 6 days a week, says i have more time than him to do things!
He also does 'on the side' jobs on a sunday quite alot, i hate this and said yesterday 'i miss you, i just want to see you some more' to which he said 'i have to go and do it, i did the job in the 1st place, if i dont put it right i will get done fr doing these jobs' he shouted this at me!
2006-11-05 02:37:26 · update #4
leave him..he just wants a housekeeper,not a girlfriend.he's selfish and a bully.get out while you can.your worth more then he is..
2006-11-05 02:22:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get out of that relationship as fast as you can. He's not going to change. Men like that never change. Right now, he's being verbally and emotionally abusive and he resorts to financial bullying. That's as bad as, if not worse than, physical abuse, which will be the next thing he will probably do. Get out now, before it's too late. If you can't make ends meet, there are organizations that help abused women. I wish you the best of luck in getting out of this dangerous situation. Stay safe.
Edit: I have been the victim of several types of abuse, the main of which is verbal. My bruises and cuts from the physical abuse have long since healed, but the scars inflicted by the verbal abuse remain to this day. If I live to be 100, the scars will remain. Verbal abuse is the worst kind there is because it leaves lasting damage. I have included the links to a couple of websites that deal with verbal abuse.
2006-11-05 10:23:27 · answer #2 · answered by Avie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of this relationship as soon as possible, you broke up with him before for exactly the same reason and a leopard doesn't change his spots. Verbal abusive can be worse than psychical abuse and he is controlling you by raising his voice and shouting at you,putting you in a place where he wants you. This is not a healthy relationship and whatever problems you may have you still need to get away from this bullying coward. Good luck
2006-11-05 10:34:22 · answer #3 · answered by GaryUKB 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd get out of it. It sounds like a bad situation.
My mom hesitated leaving my dad because of something similar. (My dad was a raging alcoholic) When he was sober he was an amazing dad and husband, but when he was drunk he was abusive verbally and physically.
If he's yelling at you now for something as stupid as not having his jumper clean and dry for work you need to get out before things get worse. If he thinks he has control over you, he will use it to his advantage. He should be the one who makes sure his jumper is clean and ready. It's not YOUR responsibility.
If he's making you feel this badly that you're crying and leaving the house, just leave him permanantly. I know it's hard because you love him, but you can't accept his behaviour. It's not fair to you.
He also sounds rather controlling with the MY house MY car thing. You don't need that, no one does. Leave him and find someone who's going to treat you the way you deserve to be treated...
Good luck.
2006-11-05 10:24:27 · answer #4 · answered by StarlightRedemption 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because he is immature and controlling. In a real relationship it doesn't matter who has what... you are together and a partnership. And since he controls everything he can act anyway he wants. Thats why people get married. So you need to get a job so you can be on your own two feet when you break up. You need an exit strategy so you can go to him and say.... this changes or I will leave. But you know..... it won't. This whole thing is abuse and guys like that don't change.
2006-11-05 10:25:07 · answer #5 · answered by jackson 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should not have to put up with this sort of abuse. If this guy were truely serious about your relationship and respected you:
- He would not see the material possessions as HIS but both of yours to share,
- He would not expect YOU to have HIS clothes cleaned and dryed. If he is not prepared for work it is HIS fault not yours,
- He would not be so possessive over money and would respect you enough to know how to budget your own money
- and most importantly of all - He would not shout at you!!!
This guys sounds like he does not truely care for you and YOU CAN DEFINITELY DO BETTER!
You should not have to put up with his crap and you should let him know this. If he has a problem with treating you with the respect YOU DESERVE then you should ditch him and you'll find someone sooooo much better for you!
GOOD LUCK x
2006-11-05 10:34:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Verbal abuse is known as mental cruelty, and in a lot of ways its worse than physical cruelty! Jumper not clean, tell him to do it himself...very simple, don't be a doormat and then you will not be treated as one......
That's not malicious, nor callous but if you have no kids between you then move on to someone nicer
Thats my advice...oh by the way having gone through 14 years of that...'a leopard never changes its spots'.
Good Luck
2006-11-05 13:30:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun......You need to get OUT of this situation!! He is just too possessive. This will NEVER change!! Leave. Let him have HIS mortgage. Let him have HIS car. Let him have HIS so well deserved lonely life!! You don't need that crap in your life!! Life is just way too short to have to live like that. It's pretty obvious that all of the possessions that have accumulated throughout your relationship, has become HIS idea that it's all HIS. He's keeping you around for the convenience of cooking, cleaning, and to have a sex partner!! You'd be better off by just L-E-A-V-I-N-G. Good Luck to you!!!
2006-11-05 10:32:38 · answer #8 · answered by Jillybeanyweiney 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, leave him.
I know you love him when he's kind to you, but you can have that with someone who's kind to you all the time. As for his car and his house? Let him have them. You will adapt.
The hardest thing about Love is that sometimes we must cut our losses and walk away when we love the other person the most. I won't lie to you, it'll be as hard as hell, but think of it as a new beginning as apposed to an end.
Good luck and try to keep smiling...!
2006-11-05 10:27:40 · answer #9 · answered by rob p 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he has a bad temper he always will, don't let him shout at you for no reason, i think he likes to control you and deep down you probably know he is not right for you , time to move on girl and find somebody that will treat you good.
2006-11-05 10:25:44 · answer #10 · answered by MISSY G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why waste time being unhappy, just walk away you'll find someone else to love who doesn't shout and act like a complete ar se come on now life's too short.
2006-11-05 10:22:36 · answer #11 · answered by Rhapsody 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋