I need some help...serious problem?

Question

My youngest son was bit in the face by our 18 month old lab/border collie. Earlier in the evening he had pulled her ear and stuck his hand in her mouth and saying "bite me" over and over. She was patient about this and I got after him for teasing her. He teases her and our other animals quite frequently and knows better. I get after him all the time about this but he goes back to it after a few days. She hasn't bitten anyone but him...and this is the second time. I have her in obedience training for about a month which has to happen before she can enter agility training. I love this dog but my son comes first. Is there anyway to remedy this situation without having to get rid of her or put her to sleep? The rest of my children are devastated because they think its all my son's fault...although they are not being mean to him about it they are mad at him. His first reaction this morning was to find her and say sorry. I am in tears because I love my son so much but.....HELP!

he was laying on the floor near her at the time of the bite and she was sleeping. I think she is coming into heat. he rolled over and bumped her...and she snapped. my husband is insisting that we get rid of her. hes actually rampaging about it. and altho i understand what he is saying i am torn because the dog doesn't do this to anyone but the youngest son because he taunts her. is there any hope for everyone to be ok and still have the dog? will spaying help? my other kids are in tears....

someone asked....he is 7. his teacher recently talked to me about meds for ADD. my husband would never allow this because he doesn't believe in meds. i'm on the fence about the meds thing. But....the fact remains that the dog bit him....he taunts her...now the kids are mad at him. i don't know what to do.

Answer 1

The problem is not your dog, but (as your other children have so astutely recognized)....your son. He needs some help in learning his boundaries. The border collie part of your dog does not handle 'teasing' well at all. That's how many end up in shelters as it is. (Hang on, and I'll try to get you links to a couple of my previous posts about this breed....I have a border collie rescue myself.)

Please continue your dog's obedience work, but it sounds to me like your son is more in need of his own than is the dog. Kids will be kids, boys will be boys, I know....blah, blah, blah....

But if you can't control your son well enough to prevent this from happening more than once, then perhaps you SHOULD rehome your dog. (That's not meant as a comment on your parenting skills at ALL....) Your dog will be happier, and there will no longer be any chance that your dog ends up causing permanent disfigurement to your son, through no fault of her own.

That's not fair to your other children, no.....I agree, and my heart goes out to them. It's unfair to 'punish' them for something THEY
were smart enough not to do. I hate seeing children deprived of the unconditional love and joy they can experience by growing up with a pet, especially when they have already shown love and respect in return.

If you do rehome your dog, please think long and hard before getting another one....or any other pet. Doing so would 'reward' your guilty son for his behavior, yet making the new pet one for only the other children might cause him to lash out in defiance that he's being excluded.

I recommend you seek the advice of a child psychologist, and perhaps start taking your son for regular counseling by a professional....to help him understand that consequences (good or bad) will always accompany his chosen actions, and how that applies to every aspect of his life. You know as well as I do that he is not exempt from that, but HE needs help to learn it (ASAP) in order for him to have any shot at a happy life. I suspect the problem runs deeper than just his relationship with this dog, and needs to be addressed before it overflows into other areas of his life.

Try to look at this as a good thing in that respect....you have been given a sign (and an *opportunity*) to help your son grow into a better human being by intervening NOW. That's a parent's job...and you have been blessed with the opportunity to help shape another's personality that has been entrusted to you. It doesn't mean that your son is 'bad'....not in the least. But I shudder to think how he might turn out if you ignore this warning that your perceptive dog has so graciously given you. Consider this a wake-up call. If not answered, I'd hate to be anywhere around your house during your son's teenage years. :-/

Good luck, hun. *Saying a prayer for you and your family*


ETA: 1. WHY is this dog 'about to come into heat'???!! She should have already been spayed LONG before now....by 4-6 months of age (BEFORE her first heat cycle.) Please get that done (for her sake) ASAP.
2. Your husband may not believe in meds, but counseling is not meds. Sounds like I was right....this behavior is already causing problems in other areas of your son's life. Getting rid of the dog won't solve THAT. (But until your son's issues are addressed, that will probably be the best thing for all concerned. Your dog doesn't trust your son....understandably so. She likely won't ever regain that trust at this point, as far as he is concerned....and that might bleed over to her relationship with your other children, too)
3. The reason lab mixes are ranked so high on the list of 'biters' is merely a function of their enormous popularity and the large numbers of them out there. The list (as is) serves no real, useful purpose. "Rank" should be determined as a _percentage_ of biters out of the total numbers of any 'breed' in homes. That would be the only statistically useful list. These are also only reported bites. Larger dogs are more likely to inflict a bite that will require medical attention, and thus be reported. There may be many more bites by chihuahuas...but they cause smaller amounts of damage as a rule, and therefore aren't always seen by MDs or otherwise reported. (Great post otherwise, Tom.)

Answer 2

Gotta go with the majority here... the son is at fault. If what you say is true and your son rolled over and bumped into her, it sounds like she had reason to use her "fight or flight" response. ( side note, did you ever bother to check to see if your son had physically injured the dog in some way, and she was sore where he "bumped" her? She may need medical attention!!) He was tugging at her and basically torturing her earlier. And ask yourself, what is he doing that you may not see. Kids are great at hiding behaviour from their parents. "Getting after" your son is so not working... try something else. If he isn't learning from getting bitten, then a spanking isn't going to work. IMHO, you have to decide between your dog and your son, as they both cannot live together. Someone will end up seriously regretting it if you keep going on this way. Putting a dog to sleep that you have allowed to be tortured in your own home is absolutely the most self-centered thing I have ever heard. Is your trainer aware of the problem you have controlling your own children? If not, she/ he should know. Find the poor dog a good home where people understand how to treat other living things and then get on with trying to correct your sons problems. Until then, its just disaster waiting to happen. God help your pets!

Answer 3

Please get your dog fixed!! there are too many unwanted pets, it can reduce health problems, and they usually have a better personality. You are stuck in a very hard situation. How old is your son? I have a 2 yr old and a 5 yr old and I have to keep after them constantly about leaving the dogs alone. When the dog is sleeping you should try to gate her in a room alone to keep your kids away that way they won't disturb her. I am sorry I just don't know what to say because, it would be heart breaking to get rid of her, but it will be even more heartbreaking if your son needs stitches or is scarred for life if she bites him again. Please talk to your son about teasing, maybe he will realize how serious it is now. Good Luck with whatever you decide.

Answer 4

While it is the childs fault,,, no one should ever give a dog second chance. To do so can be considdered "child endangerment" (My wife is a child protective services case worker), and children have been removed from their home and put in foster care for just this reason. (they wouldn't remove just the one child, they would remove all the children.)
Don't know the letter of the law where you live, but you had better find out before you keep that dog.
BTW, the "Labrador mix" is #6 on the list of dog bite cases.

edit:
What the Law says
"Each state has different dog bite liability laws for dog owners. In fact, dog bite law is often a combination of state statutory law, case law, city and county ordinances and common law. These laws, however, can be classified into two general categories: the “one bite rule” and the “strict liability rule”.

The one bite rule is also known as the "first bite rule," or the "first bite free" rule. Under this rule, a dog owner cannot be held liable for injury to another caused by his or her dog’s first bite as long as the owner was not negligent in his or her duties to control the dog. The owner must also not have been in violation of other protective dog laws such as not letting the dog run loose in public places without a leash. The rule also does not apply if the owner was aware or should have been aware of his or her dog’s propensity to be dangerous, which could be established if:


The dog had a tendency to snap at people
The owner told others that the dog is an attack dog
The owner cautioned others that the dog bites
The dog often wears a muzzle

Liability for subsequent bites is then generally determined under strict liability rules.

The strict liability or "scienter" (knowledge) rule holds that the owner is responsible for injuries caused by a dog bite regardless of whether the bite was the first one since the owner took possession. The basic premise is simply that because the owner legally owns the dog, the owner is also legally responsible for it.

Depending on the jurisdiction, however, some protections are extended to dog owners, even when the strict liability rule applies. For example, dog owners may not be held liable for injuries caused by their dog’s bite if:

The dog bite victim was a trespasser
The dog bite victim is a veterinarian treating the dog
The dog bite victim provoked the dog
The dog bite victim ignored warnings by the owner not to approach the dog
The dog bit someone during a military operation or while helping the police"

Answer 5

Not to be mean, but this happened because of your sons teasing. Dogs can take so much and it is because of constant teasing and abuse that they snap. Not that you abuse the dog, but the pulling of the ears and aggravation and such. If you want to keep the dog, you definately need to do some more disciplining to your son. The fact the dog has not bit any of the other children should also be a sign.

Answer 6

DO NOT GET RID OF THE DOG. That is the most important part. To be honest with you, it IS your sons fault. The dog doesn't need training your son needs training. You need to teach your son NOT to taunt the dog. If you catch him messing around with the dog in a way he isn't supposed to, take him away from the dog for the rest of the day and don't let him play with it. The dog is only protecting herself. Stand strong to the punishment. If you let off your son will know he can get away with it. She may just be sick and tired of having to put up with that every day. I know I would be! When I was really young I took meds for ADHD. It didn't do anything wrong to me except make me calm, and once in a while tired if I didn't get much sleep the night before. The reason I don't have to take it now in my teen years is because when i took them as a little girl I got used to being calm. Also, if your dog is starting to go in heat and she snapped at him for bumping her, she probably didn't like the fact that she was uncomforatable, and that she thought he was teasing her again while she was uncomforatable, and she's tired of putting up with it.

Answer 7

wow..this is tough for you and the children but this is not the dogs fault. A dog can only take so much taunting and this does not mean the dog is mean. You need to be more persistant w/your son and not except this behavior. If hes doing it to this dog and you get rid of the dog he will just move onto your other dogs if you have more then one. Does the whole family have to suffer over one child that seems to disobey your orders and the respect of animals? My daughter can be this way at times and I get after her and explain why not to do this and then she seems to understand. My son when he was much younger use to be horrible but I stayed after him and he has grown out of it. Try this website....www.diamondsintheruff.com/toddlersndogs.html and here is another for child to go to as well...www.loveyourdog.com good luck w/this. It is scary knowing your child can get hurt but sad thinking of getting rid of your dog when its not his fault.

Answer 8

Not to sound mean but it seems your son needs some serious discipline. Try some time outs where you make him sit in a corner or a room for a certain amount of time. Don't let up till the time has expired and explain to him why it happened. I know this seems obvious but a lot of parents will give in when their child cries and then the child thinks they can get away with everything. If that doesn't work, start taking his toys away. I saw all of this on Nanny 911. Very good show :)

Answer 9

This is all too common.....children teasing dogs. Dog puts up with is just so long bites back and dog gets shipped to the pound as incorigable. Your son needs a lesson in what he can and cannot do to an animal. You are the teacher....TEACH HIM. consequences can be devistating for all concerned. Your sons behavior needs to be corrected in terms that he understands.

Answer 10

Put the child to sleep, NOT I repeat NOT the dog ! The dog simply re-acted. Think of it from the digs point of view. She/he gets terrorised every day and puts up with it every day then one day -- When the dog is in a bad mood it snaps. Dogs have feelings too. Don't be so harsh ! Not to be rude but your son seems like a right little so and so. I would never do that to a dog at the age of 6 ! He needs to learn his lesson

Answer 11

Your dog is fine. You need to explain to your son that the dog has feelings too, how would he like it if someone stuck their fingers down his throat? Perhaps the dog needs a new home, or else you need to discipline your son it is all his fault, the dog is not the one in need of obedience training. Ofcourse its going to bite the kid if in the dogs mind its trying to kill him. Seperate the terrible twosome before your son kills the poor thing.