Yes, I understand men play mind games with women...but women are as bad as men too. And yet whoes the one that gets hurt?....the Men. Not the women.
So explain me more of to Why?
2006-11-05 01:00:31 · 11 answers · asked by Mosca_2001 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ahhh..... deep subject. A tough one to look at objectively unfortunately. None of us think we are playing mind games, but everyone does. Manipulation is the name of the game. Trying to obtain a specific action/reaction by means of subterfuge.
Some people do it because they fear rejection. Some people do it because they feel that what the really want would cause others to look down on them. Some people do it because their pride will not permit that the just be forthright. Some people do it because they are not sure that they really want to know the answer and some do it because they know the answer but don't like it. Whatever the reason, it is usually an attempt to walk the other person around to our way of thinking. Unfortunately, younger women take the really, really long route around.
It is really difficult to be brutally honest with yourself. But it is the only way that you can actually be honest and open with anyone else. We all fear letting our true feelings out for fear of them getting trampled on, so we tend to test the water in a round about way. The human mind in it's effort to protect the fragile ego, tends to only complicate everything in life.
For instance, you go to a party and see a really hot girl... you are thinking, "Whoa, I could really get into her!", but you don't go up to her and say, "Hey baby, I think you and me could really hit it off.", you instead get a friend to go stand by her then you go up to him and accidently bump into her. Then you say something lame like, "I saw you out there dancin', you're really good!".
Complients.... in the hope that she will want to talk, thus opening the door to the possibility at a later date of getting to what you were thinking in the first place.
I realize that the head games you are talking about are the more indepth ones, but being open and honest is not easy. When you do this you provide ammunition to another person to fire back at you at a later date. You leave yourself vulnerable to hurt. And I assure you, when the person you chose to trust turns your confidences back against you... it does hurt. You feel betrayed to the core of your being.
But... opening yourself to hurt is the only way a relationship works. You know you found the right girl when she also gives you ammunition against herself and you both respect one another enough to be sensitive to the other person's feelings.
It certainly isn't only the Men who get hurt because of mind games. It is both sexes. The problem is that males and females operate from separate poles. A guy will study a video game until he knows it inside and out, but does not expend one 18th of that amount of time figuring out his girlfriend. Once a guy gets the girl he no longer feels the need to keep showing her he loves her. Whereas, she needs constant reminding and if you are not going to do it, some other guy will. Of course, when she moves on to the new guy, once he gets her, then he too stops doing what it was that caught her heart in the first place. It is a vicious circle.
I watch my sons with girls and I am always amazed at some of the things they do and say. I watch their friends with their girlfriends and think to myself, it is too exhausting to be a young person. Nobody is straight with anyone. The boys say things in front of their friends, trying to show how cool they are that are devastating to their girlfriends who are standing right there, and they don't even see it!!! So, then the girls start retaliating, though not overtly, but in that round about way guys call mind games.
Pretty soon you are both fighting, just not about the same things. And girls are just as guilty. They are all flirty, and complimentary in the beginning, and then they try to change the guy. Leopards don't change their spots. If he isn't the guy you want as he is, then move on. Unfortunately, the first impression person is never the actual person.... Young people jump into relationships way to fast. Before they even find out if they have anything in common, they are sleeping together.
Looks and possessions are still the top priority in youth as to who is popular and who is not. As we get older, that starts to change. And some people never grow up. Head games is the only way they know how to make it in life. It is a pity, because they will never know true happiness in a relationship.
You want to be successful in a relationship? Study the female. Read articles written by females to get their persepective. When the girlfriend is accusing you of something, ask her, "Why would/do you feel/think that?" Look at what she is saying and try to dig beneath the surface because chances are there is some underlying reason totally unrelated to what you are arguing about.
And remember, anything she tells you never goes beyond the two of you. Even after you break up. Any kind of relationship requires work on the part of both parties. We are all protective of our feelings. And if you screw up, don't be afraid to say it to her.
"Baby, I'm sorry, I didn't think how my careless words would hurt you. I got caught up in the moment and didn't even think. You know you are more important to me than the guys." Now... you have answered her real concern... that your friends are more important than she is that you would cut her down in front of them. Not the fact that you were making comments about some other girls fine butt with the guys. And next time don't make that kind of comment in front of her. Learn from your mistakes.
Because in the above case, you told her that she could be dumped at any moment, and that her feelings are not important, and that your image with the guys is more important. The females standard first thought to the above situation is, "Fine... go sleep with your friends too!".
I don't envy you young people. It is such a long, long road you travel!!!
2006-11-05 01:45:41 · answer #1 · answered by diane_b_33594 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The same reason men beat up women that they obviously know they can overpower: retribution for some imagined slight. If you're getting dumped on by women, it's obvious that they feel they can do it without any fear of getting caught or getting hurt in return. Cowboy up pal; that's going to happen to you until you draw a line in the sand and make sure the women you date know better than to cross it!
2006-11-05 01:04:33 · answer #2 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a no brainer! because most men aren't all that honest when it comes to relationships. Most are just out for a piece of @ss. This forces women to play games...it's our way of weeding out the bad ones. If you think you like this girl then percervere, but don't take too much because then you'll lose any respect she has for you.
2006-11-05 01:09:13 · answer #3 · answered by sassy2006 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you think it's modern-day dysfunctionality, check your Bible.... Ruth knew Boaz would get horny with her in the same room when the night got cold. Jacob's daughter-in-law pretended to be a whore to get the goods on him. Sarah tricked her husband into blessing the wrong son. One woman invited a general to her bed in order to kill him. And we all know about Jezebel and Delilah. Many examples of deviousness and immorality are in the Deccameron and Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. Remember infamous Katherine of Russia. History is replete with devious men, yes, but sex and sexy, tricky women are the stuff of real life. Believe me, reel life and Jerry Springer are just catching up. It's modern media and instant technology that make such things SEEM more prevalent.
2016-03-19 03:48:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
because of other men that cannot be trusted women are being very cautious but the women gets hurt first! thats why we just wanna be sure!
2006-11-05 01:05:27 · answer #5 · answered by angel_sakura 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be easier to count the stars in space than to figure this one out. They are women, that should explain it all!
2006-11-05 01:03:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You've answered a age long question. I wondered about that myself but then I finished taking a really good shiit and said " Who gives a crap"!
2006-11-05 01:04:16 · answer #7 · answered by justine t 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I have noticed this too. Women are ok with the guyz who treat them like s*hit but whenever they come across a decent, nice guy they try to control him.
2006-11-05 01:07:59 · answer #8 · answered by ash 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Women are manipulative by nature and they usually dont know what they want. Run away.
2006-11-05 01:04:03 · answer #9 · answered by nycgirl2003 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
cus they just like that i dont know my girlfriends use to do that to me all the time
2006-11-05 01:03:55 · answer #10 · answered by Luis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋