Guys and Chicks tell me your opion on this... Plz.....?

Question

Ok it's like this. I've been dating/living with this guy for over a hear and a half. It's pretty serious between us. R so I thought. There is a age gap between us. When we first meet he told me he was 41 and at that time I was turing 21. So that would be 21 yrs between us. And age is just a number to a point. I love him for who he is and what he his right. Well last night for the first time I actually meet his family. And behold what came out last night. I was told he wasn't 41 going on 42 in Jan. He'a actually 51 going on 52 in Jan. I'm totally in shock right now. I don't even know what to think are what to do. In one sense you know I'm ready to kick him out. For a year and a half he's been lying to me about his age. And even last night once I was told by one of his sisters. He still wonted to try and deny it for a few more mins. I just don't know what to think. So plz kindley tell me what you all think about this "news" that just came out. Thanks for you time.

Answer 1

I am 52 also...again I saw your response to the girl about her man that is older and her family is against it, but your situation is a little different than hers because you have some experience about being with this guy whom you thought was only 42. and you have formed feelings for him, and truthfully you like him and he likes you.

Being as old as he is...he only did not want to tell you because he was already older, and he knew he was stretching it at 42 to be dating you, so he lied because if he told you the truth you would not have given him a chance....you know I am right. It is evidenced because right now....you are freaking about it.

Now we know that age is a number so each person ages differently. Currently I am 52 and going back to college, I am a junior in a state university. I was asked my age and told that person how old I was....they were shocked because they thought I was 35 years old.

I have the mind set of being younger because I associate with college age kids, we work on the same problems, attend the same classes, study in the library, and take the same tests. We work on projects together, and I have been around 20 year olds for a long time. I can relate to them because of my going back to school ( usually not invited to their parties, but I have been asked to go out for a couple beers).

My point is this: You two seem to have "hit it off" despite his being 42 years old. He was that age because if he told you his real age you would not have given him a chance, but you did.

He UNDERSTANDS the ball is in your court, that you could end the relationship, but why....if it has been going well for a year and a half. I had the opportunity to date some of my classmates and would have if I had been single because I relate to them.

If things are going well...I would say give him a chance. Now have him bring all the cards to the table....like is he "gay" or "married" then let him go.

I would check on him being married, but if he was I am sure his family would have told you that, so probably not married.

Do you love him?

If you do, and lying about his age was the only sin...let it pass.

The advice you will be given about this is...

You have not lived, what about the night club life, ect, ect, ect.

But what it really boils down to is this:

You have a heart that loves you, was not as honest as he could have been but it was because of his feelings for you. Sure there are other guys out there your age, and you would have opportunity to meet them if you dropped this guy. But it is this point that makes the difference in the equation:

There is only one him, and you two connected. A hundred young guys won't take this mans place. He has opened his heart to you and you have done the same to him.

So, give it a chance.

Love is hard to find in these days, if it were not the case there would not be tons of dating services around. People want to meet people to have relationships with. You found somebody that you lived with a year and a half when he was 42, does ten more years....really make that much difference??

Answer 2

He is 30 years older then you, which probably makes him older then even your parents I'll bet. But besides the huge age difference and the fact that he lied to you and has continued to lie to you theres a few other things to look at here. First, what about the fact that he didn't even consider your feelings or oppinions in regards to the age difference. Secondly, what about letting you find out from his family, whats that all about? Pretty rude if you ask me. But then to continue to try to lie about it, that s pretty low on his part. What else has he conveniently not told you or lied about. And the problem now is that you know you can't ask him anything personal and believe him he's already proved that even faced with the truth he can't be honest with you. Is this the way you want to live your life, always wondering. Believe me this is only the beginning. This person your with is a very me me me person. He'll tell you what ever he thinks will get him what he wants.. Please think this relationship over hard and long and honestly with yourself before For some reason I think you might want to run a background ck on him. It could prove to be interesting.

Answer 3

(wouldn't this be in the wrong section) well how old are you anyways because it might just be a phase or confusion if you're a teenager, if you both have feelings for each other then maybe you should try to see where it will go, if not then okay don't let it ruin your friendship. Not really a normal friendship but everyone is unique. Well good luck

Answer 4

Hon, he's just a man. He didn't want you to know how old he is ....so, like you said, You love him for who he is.

You've got some time left before you go to basic training. Be good to him. He's been good to you.

Make decisions that are right for your son and you. No one should influence you away from becoming independent. You have made some hard decisions. You are willing to follow-through. God bless you for the efforts you make.

Your man knows that basic training will be the end of your relationship. Appreciate him a little longer and then let good-bye be good-bye, and thank you.

Answer 5

In my opinion u should leave him for lying to u and get a younger male hes too old!! sooner or later you'd get bored,u have to enjoy life! and just think about the things u do and about the concecuenses before u do stuff. Oh! and I think the best person u should talk to about this situation is your MOM, if she loves u she'll understand and help u, cause remember: Moms know best i can prove it.

Answer 6

you are 21. that means you are very young and at the beginning of the life road. you will have many opportunities ahead.then why ruin your life for an old man who managed to lie you for over 1 year?are you sure there are not any more lies? he may say he loves you but can he satisfy you in cumming years?
remember that you are just starting your life and he is not your last chance.
I can not mark this1.5 years as WASTED because you have got many experiences in it which can lead you to a fruitful and blissful life.

Answer 7

Age as you said is a number. But the fact that he lied is unforgivable. Now, the question is...did he love you so badly that he didn't want to loose you? If that is the case and if you are ok with the age, you could consider forgiveness.

Answer 8

Well when i meet my bf i was 26 and he didn't want to tell me his age which i respected but eventually he came out and told me he was 53 to be honest it didn't matter to me cause i really enjoyed his company now its been 3 years and where getting married soon but i do understand you being upset since he kept the lie going he should at least apologize

Answer 9

My dear child,you are being USED by a dirty old man.I'm almost 51 yrs. old,and it's every old guy's fantasy to hook up with a 21 yr old chick.This fellow is obviously living out his fantasy.Let me ask you this.Why did he wait so long to let you meet his family?As well,if he's lied to you about his age,what else has he lied to you about?A guy of his age has a lot of experience under his belt.It is very easy to manipulate a young girl such as yourself into thinking he is just the greatest.I think it's time to reevaluate your goals and standards my dear.He's never,ever going to marry you.He just thinks it's cool to have a young chick on his arm.Give the old fool the boot...for your sake.

Answer 10

He lied about his age to get you,what else will he be-or has already been- dishonest about?What he did was manipulative and self serving and that will establish a pattern.If you are meeting his family after a year and a half,that speaks volumes,too...You do deserve better.Good Luck!