My son has suddenly decided to start calling me by my first name....?

Question

....he says he's too old for Mum or Mummy now (he's 10). My friends say I shouldn't let him, but I can't think of a good enough reason to stop him.

Parents - did your kids do this, was it a phase? I like being called Mum, I hope it hasn't gone forever.

Michael K - if your idea of parenting is "butt whipping" I'd prefer to stick to my way thanks.

Wayne Y - even have kids, do you? I don't believe in "whipping" and even if I did, it would be for something a lot more serious than what he calls me.

Answer 1

It's quite funny when you hear it for the first time , a lot of kids do it ,
dont worry he will grow out of it , i used to call my mum Daisey but that was yrs ago now she's my special "mum"
Calling mum by her christian name often happens in one parent families when the son feels he is ready to take the roll of master of the house .

Answer 2

I have 3 kids, 16, 13, and 8, they all call me Mum, dont think they would dream of calling me by my first name and I would not like it either. The 8 yr old calls his dad by his first name tho, however I think that is cos the older two have a different dad and call the 8 yr olds one by his first name and so th 8 yr old thinks its normal.

Have a chat with him and see if there is any other reason for him doing it and tell him you prefer to be called Mum if it really bothers you. I wouldn't worry it probably is just a phase he is going through.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Simple remedy:
When he calls you Donna you ignore him. And you make it quite clear that you are ignoring him. When he calls you Mum or Mummy you say " Ahh, you've called me by my right name".
It is a phase that children go through unless they feel it's okay and life goes on as it did without correction from the parent.
A good reason to stop it is that a parental title shows respect and it makes you feel good. Remember that your feelings count too and let him know that your feelings are hurt because you love being his mum. Simply tell him it's important to you.

Answer 5

My son called me (and his dad) by my first name until he was about four years old, then started calling me mom. It was annoying for a while, but some people thought it was cute. I would just act like it doesn't bother you and eventually he might get tired of it. Perhaps he saw a friend of his doing it and thought it was cool. In the meantime, perhaps find some pet nickname for him (that is annoying) and tell him if he doesn't like it he can go back to calling you mom. Or perhaps ask that he call you mom in certain settings (like school, around other parents, etc.). He just might grow out of it, but I think the bigger deal you make about it the longer he will do it. Good luck and I am sure not matter what he calls you that he loves you!!

Answer 6

Undoubtedly, he has seen this behavior somewhere else, a friend, TV or somewhere. In some families, that is the norm. He is just trying it on for size, if you really want to eradicate it quickly, simply do not answer, but even if you don't address it, I think most likely it will go away on it's own.

I had to start calling my mom by her first name after I went away to college. She was not used to being called Mom, as she was in the workplace, so I had a better chance of getting a response if I used her first name. Now that she is a grandmother, we use the family nickname, bestowed upon her by my nephew.

Answer 7

I started calling my mum by her first name when I left home when I was 21. She suddently felt like more of a best friend than a mum, still a mum of course, but someone I could talk to and share things with, woman to woman. I think 10 is definatley to young though and I would nip it in the bud as it could develop into a lack of respect, and challenge to your authority

Answer 8

My son still calls me by my first name - and he is now 46!! Seriously though, all our children (5) have called us by our first names at some time or other in their early teens. We found that it is best to join in the fun. They will think more of you and it is no big deal. If you take it seriously you will alienate your children and lose their respect. I believe that kids try things on deliberately to see what our reaction will be. They will still call you Mum or Dad and respect you for who and what you are regardless of the occasional playful break with convention. Just wait until they need something (especially as teenagers) they will then call you Mum in a pleading sort of voice, and it will be your pleasure to once again get them out of trouble!

Answer 9

hey. Well my little boy is only 1 so i am only getting to the stage of him calling me mum! But my fiance calls his parents by their first names. I thought it was wierd when i first met him, i also think its sad, especially cause im a mum now. It would feel like they were trying to distance themselves to me or something..? I just asked me fiance then and he said he was about 14 when he started calling his parents by their first names, and it obviously wasnt a phase... he still does it now. Maybe you should tell your son that its not right to be calling you by your first name, and his mum is one in a million and the only one he will ever have! I think thats a good enough reason.

Answer 10

Wow, he's a little young for that! He is probably in a testing the waters phase. He wants to know how to push your buttons and get a rise out of you. While part of me wants to tell you to ignore him when he says "Sue (or whatever your first name is), can I have some candy?" part of me thinks maybe he's looking for attention, even negative attention. Has anything else changed recently? New friends? New teacher? Grades going down? If this isn't a symptom of a larger problem, he's probably just testing the waters.