Will I ever get over my mom dying?

Question

My mom died in April and my heart still hurts everytime I think about her. The pain doesn't seem to lessen.

Answer 1

You will NEVER feel the same..BUT you don't have to hurt...thinking about her and remembering her is wonderful....it will be painful for a time but if it lasts too long talk to a priest or get therapy. I lost 2 children and my father. It hurt like hell for years and years and years...BUT I got help also I decided THEY don't want me to suffer and I will see them again in HEAVEN.....so I no longer suffer. I talk up at the sky to them at night here and there..the times get less often but they are everywhere.....do whatever makes you feel at peace.....but remember she loves you and doesn't want you hurting..rmemmber the good times and if it helps say you are sorry for the bad times..she can hear you and you will feel better!

Answer 2

It's only been since April, that's not very long...my Dad died 4 yrs ago & I still have hard days. I don't think you ever really get over the loss of a parent, you just learn to go on with life without them& it's hard. Live each day to the fullest in honor of your Mom...that's what she would want...for you to live a full, happy life. We never realize how important something or someone is to us until we lose them. The pain will eventually lessen with time but you will always feel that loss in your heart.

Answer 3

I am so sorry for your loss. My mom died in 1987 and although with time the pain does lesson, I have found that on certain occasions or situations in my life I really miss her. What has helped is remembering the good times we had together, and some of her traditions at Christmas and Thanksgiving etc. There are times when I still feel an emptiness in my heart but it does help to talk about her, and share memories with other family members.

Answer 4

I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost my Mum,(in 2002). Everyone will experience their grief in a personal way, though there is a process that passes through various stages.

From me, to you, your heart may always ache. When I see someone who reminds me of my Mum, or when i see something she loved... I forget she is gone. Then realisation kicks in ... and it hurts. But y'know, I don't think I want it any other way. I still cry sometimes because I miss her so much. But the pain keeps her real and still part of me. But this isn't the raw grief and pain that you are still experiencing at this time.

It always helps to focus on positive memories (both thoughts and discussions with other people). Little rituals also help. My sisters and have a few things we do in memory of Mum, all good things. This may be helpful....for the first two years after Mum died I still bought her the same cards I always had (birthday, Mothers Day). I wrote in them... though of course didnt send them to anyone. Didn't do that this year and now those anniversaries are remembered but not heartbreaking for me. Hang in there, and make the positive memory of what your Mum would want for you, work for you.

Answer 5

It takes years, but the pain lessens. My Mom died 20 years ago, but I still think of her almost every day. I was 34 when she died, but I felt like I lost my best friend. Even now, I shed a few tears sometimes, because I miss her. The pain does lessen, but it is okay to cry, and miss her. You just need to find someone to talk to about your feelings. Preferably someone else who misses her too.

Answer 6

I can feel your pain but you must believe that the pain will lessen. My father died when I was 26 - he was only 54. I used to cry everyday and the thing I wished for most was to just hug him one more time. It took me 9 years to even watch the video of his memorial service. Healing time is different for everyone. Now when I think of him it is with a smile instead of tears. That, too, will happen for you but as for when, I cannot say. I hope your wounds heal quickly so you can think of your mom with a smile instead of a broken heart.

Answer 7

You will always remember and it will always be a sad thought. What will change is you're ability to handle it. It takes time and lots of it. I lost my dad and 3 yrs later I lost my mom. That was 10 yrs ago... I still miss them but the pain isn't so intense any more. I can now think about the good times without dwelling on the sadness.

If you ever need someone to talk to...I'd be happy to offer a sympathetic ear... take care.

Answer 8

Really sorry about your mum, mines still alive but I have an idea of how you would feel from being there when my mum's mother died...she literally went to pieces.
True no one can fill her space but honey listen, "he has not lived that does not live on after death", apparently your mum lives on in you. She has done her part on earth...so rejoice for her that she's in a better place, move on with the lessons you learnt from her and help teach others the same lessons.
This activity will help lessen the pain and replace it (in time) with the joy of knowing her...

Answer 9

It's hard to get over it, my Mom died years ago and I still cry when I hear her favorite song or see something that reminds me of her. It lessens a little but NEVER goes away.
I'm sorry for your loss. Remember the good times with your Mom.

Answer 10

I am so sorry for your loss. When you have great love, then the loss brings great pain. It will take a long time, but eventually the love gains strength and pain loses its grip. However, you won't get over your mother's death - it will become a part of who you are. You may find that it makes you more empathetic and compassionate to others who suffer, and someone who appreciates relationships deeply because you won't ever take for life for granted. I hope you are being gentle with yourself, and that you have good friends who listen and offer a shoulder to cry on whenever you need it.