I have a d dilemma,i am 25 have been with my man 4 years in th elast year we gradually drifted apart, I gained my llb degree,he had his promotions,he makes 65k now. However as a youngster from 13 my mother severely abused me mentally, after my step dad died,she threw me into a cold conservatory to sleep, told me to work for her, would not let me speak to y sister as she said I owed her father. I wen trough abuse by 12 men not full, working for 1 pound an hour,and glamour modelling to give my mum the money.
She took away my childhood and now it is effecting me, I have freedom,but also a heart my mum still asks me for money despite I having a 3 year ols, will not burden my 20 year old sister,yesterday she asked 500 pounds, and I said my sister would give 200, she replied so I still want 500 from you.
I am not working and aim at doing an lpc to become a solicitor,and have another baby.
However I am confused, what is right, baby or not,work,money,ia m just ripped apart.help
2006-11-04 22:21:22 · 19 answers · asked by flavia d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i think you need to get into counselling to work through your past, and it will help you become a stronger person to refuse your mother.
2006-11-04 22:25:10 · answer #1 · answered by redsticks34 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to disconnect yourself from your mother. She is abusing you horribly, and you need to seperate yourself from her and make her realise that you are not someone to be toyed with, that you won't accept it any longer. You should try to find a way to connect with your man again because I think that your relationship with your mother and the stress that it is putting on you is affecting your relationship with him and you mustn't let it tear the two of you apart. If he treats you well, then thats exactly what you deserve. By the sounds of it, you've had it incredibly rough these last few years, especially in the men department, but you deserve to have the best. Explain to your man the way that you're feeling, and I'm sure he'll stand by you. As for your sister, you could use her support as well as your boyfriend's now more than ever, and I think you should use all the support you get and appreciate it. Seriously, get yourself away from your mother now. Emancipate yourself. You shouldn't have to put up with her rubbish.
2006-11-04 22:28:36 · answer #2 · answered by laislinns 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Flavia,
You have been through a lot, and you are really fantastic to have achieved an LLB despite the hard life as a child.
That makes you a truly fantastic person. I'm not a counsellor, buy If I was, I'd help you as much as I can.
There is no simple answer, you may want to remove your mother from the picture - have nothing to do with her. You are not a cash machine.
Please ingore the childish responses on here from the chavs and council estate morons.
I wish you well, and I wish I can help you.
xx
2006-11-04 23:29:06 · answer #3 · answered by Tatiana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you still in contact with your mother? Don't be available for her, don't give her any more money. Don't allow your sister to give her any either.
Go and seek help in taking your abusers to court, including your mother. Ger your degree, and make it your business to go forward and create a happy loving home for your child.
This is one evil woman, and only when you and your sister cut off all ties concerning her will you find the strength to move forward.
It will be an uphill struggle, and I really wish you well. Only when you can find peace of mind, think of having another child. xx
2006-11-04 23:00:37 · answer #4 · answered by Thia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I might sound cold hearted but something is not right with this story................ You with a degree, education to be a solicitor, with a horrendous childhood, experience of cancer by your partner, cheating, abortion, a young child and another on the way etc.. and you are worried about telling your mum to stop or you will report her to the police????
Get psychological help!
By the way, how did you manage to get into uni?
2006-11-05 00:46:17 · answer #5 · answered by damari_8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever your education is, was, it was not explaining what your real problem is.
All of this and you never became your own woman. Get the heck out of that house, get your own place to start with. Get on your own feet and grow up. Start your own life than look back if and when you can. Than see if you can help in any way, if not, don't look back, whom do you owe anything to. Are you your brothers keeper? Maybe you need some consoling to help you get on your feet. You must be in a position to know whom to go to.
2006-11-04 22:49:13 · answer #6 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mother to get stuffed, she has no right trying to get money from you. Next suggestion, when raising a child it's probably better to find a job first (provided your area has affordable day care). Once your child reaches school age and you've (hopefully) saved up a little cash, find out if you can do that course part time.
2006-11-04 22:36:53 · answer #7 · answered by mick69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
brian is mean! :( ignore him
i think you should report your mum babez cuz she is putting pressure on you and forced you into something no child wants to go through when theyre that age, i should know im 14 right now. so newyz once youve gotton rid of her your life will be so much better becuz you will have lifted a great burden from yourself then mebbe it will be easier to work things out wid your hubbie!
i really hope i can help you and if not someone else because you seem very stressed! :) dont give up!
2006-11-04 22:31:15 · answer #8 · answered by ♥çhÃrLiê $tå瀥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are in a destructive codependency relationship with your mum, you need to seek a counselor to break this connection and it is not your heart that makes you give her money, its your fear and guilt ... see a professional and put a stop to it or it will destroy the things you have worked so hard to accomplish. you have more than paid both emotionally and financially ... its time to bring that "relationship" to a halt ... you don't owe her anything, and she is just leeching you to maintain control over you ... see a professional, they can break the cycle for you so you can truly be free of this abusive woman ... it takes more than biology to be a mother ... her influence is negatively affecting your relationship with your man as well as your own goals ... cut her off financially and tell her to get a job.
2006-11-04 22:32:19 · answer #9 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey - you have the brains to qualify as a solicitor but not the guts to tell your mother where to get off??
She destroyed your childhood and you are supposed to care about her??
If you feel compelled to keep in contact with your Mother, then do so, but do not feel beholden to her. Try to imagine being a judge in a custody case and it may clarify your thoughts and focus your mind on what is more important - your happiness or her wealth.
2006-11-04 22:28:05 · answer #10 · answered by steven b 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am going to say what a life you have had even if it sounds naff,its time for you now,you owe (NO) one any think if she wants money tell her to get it the way others have to, or turn a deaf one one on her,if there is any way for you to follow your dreams of giving yourself a happy life take it,for your sake and the children who will all ways be the greatest thing any woman can have in her life. stay lucky
2006-11-05 01:40:18 · answer #11 · answered by barnowl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋