I lived with my brother after I graduated from college for about 5 mos, but during those 5 mos, he was verbally, emotionally and physically abusive so I moved out. He almost strangled me, and wouldn't let me use the phone or the computer all that time. I couldn't turn on the lights at home, and he would leave me in the house without food nor the ability to take myself to the market since it was driving distance.
That was six years ago. I recently found out he got married and his wife had a baby. Should I try to get to know her by opening myself to her by sending his wife a gift?
We live in the same state however, they live 6 hours away from me. What would you do if you were in my situation? Thanks for your comments in advance.
2006-11-04 22:07:11 · 6 answers · asked by the_memory_of_ashes 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Mohammad Aslam Shaikh-read my question before you reply. Your answer was not relevant to my problem.
2006-11-04 22:17:56 · update #1
I think you could do that. What happened between you and your brother has nothing to do with your sister-in-law. Who knows!! Maybe you and she will become good friends!!! And it never hurts to make a new friend. Good luck and best wishes.
2006-11-04 22:10:09 · answer #1 · answered by claire d 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People can change IF they want to and if they get professional help. I'd write to HIM and ask questions and tell him you would love to work things out with him. Wait for his reply. I wouldn't give out my phone number to him though incase he is still the jerk he was. If he writes back and is nice, then I'd talk to him on the phone, ask for his phone number after he writes you back. Keep it in writting until you feel he is a good person. Then talk on the phone a few times. See if you hear fighting in the back round or the baby crying. If you do I'd wait say bye, talk to you soon. Then I'd call when I could talk to his wife. Talk to her and see if he is abusing her and their baby. I hate to say this he probably is..maybe you can then help her get away from him. If she doesn't like herself she will take the abuse....but like you she SHOULD leave and take that baby away from him. Babys KNOW if the home is a happy place or not. Also you may want to turn him in to CHild Servuices IF he is still a jerk and abusive ANd if his wife won't take the baby and leave him. IF he threatens her or anyone in any way hide her and the baby and go to the police and have her get a protection order.......In case I would NOT give him your address until you feel he is a good person. And because you can hide his wife and son if need be. BUT if he is abusive involve the police and childrens services NO MATTER WHAT...don't try to handle him on your own....abusive men are sick men! Trust me!
2006-11-04 22:31:52 · answer #2 · answered by angeleyez1956@verizon.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would send a gift addressed to both parents, or solely to the baby, and not further alienate your brother by leaving his name off. This gesture may open the door for communication with your sister-in-law and a chance for your to establish a relationship with her. I think the relationship would have to grow into friendship before sharing any revelations about your brother's past abuse, or else you'd immediately put his wife on the defensive. In the best case scenario, you may eventually find that your brother is always loving and kind to his wife and baby. If otherwise, a friendship with his wife may open the door to her confiding in you and giving you a chance to help.
2006-11-04 23:13:35 · answer #3 · answered by AnneMrree 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would deffienatly Make contact with the wife and child...
I am unsure what i would but I mite contact the police and let them know what happened, but some popel dont like getting police involved, Or I mite try and get the email or the mobile number of the wife and just start up a random chat and make firend with them wihtout exactly idetifying yourself and try and become firneds with her opr jsut try and contact her and tell her exactly everything but you gotta think of the well-being of the child and the other women.
I am dreading this when my brother marries.
2006-11-04 22:16:27 · answer #4 · answered by Leah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Brother why are you looking for trouble ?? Their plenty of nice girls arround , and if you open your eyes you will find them, please donot interfear in someone eles married life . Think if someone eles will do in the same way as you think, what you will feel about that person???
Find someone eles and hope and i wish you will find better then that.
Mohammad Aslam Shaikh { South Africa}
2006-11-04 22:15:46 · answer #5 · answered by amodsons 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Since he didn't invite you I'd say he's not interested in re-establishing a relationship.
2006-11-04 22:10:43 · answer #6 · answered by tumbleweed1954 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋