Dealing with my child's father?

Question

When I was 7 weeks preg my child's father asked me to get an abortion. I refused and he sent me an email telling me we were done. He cut off all contact with me and didnt plan on telling his family about our child. I contacted his family before I went into labor and told them It took them four months, but they contacted me and want to be apart of her life, which i have no problem with. I have taken her for a visit and I plan on taking her for another visit on christmas. My child's father said he wants to see her during this time. I dont think he cares for her at all, he just wants to impress his family by letting them think that he is trying to be a good dad. She is now 5 months old and he doesnt give me any financial support and he doesnt even contact me. If or when he does its on yahoo i/m and briefly. I dont mind my daughter seeing her grandparents but I dont want her with him Would I be wrong to bring her to see them before he comes home from college or after he has already left?

We were in a relationship for a year prior to this happening. Everything was good until I became pregnant. For the record, I was using Ortho Tri Cyclen-Lo when this happened. I had no plans to become a mother but I am taking care of my responsibility and so should he! Just because he wanted me to have an abortion and I didnt have one doesnt give him the right to be an idiot. We are both adults and this has been extremely hard on me. I cant punish someone who doesnt care and I know that he doesnt. He really does not deserve my precious baby, but I want his family to be involved because they actually give a damn about her.

Answer 1

Amazing!! Someones life could match with a stranger!! I was really thinking when i was reading your post and saying to myself "did I post this??" because its 99% match with my life story, only the grandparents are not here. Well, you asked if its wrong or not. Since I am going through the same situation I can only say that we r really sad about father's part, his support. So that u can't accuse him being bad father he wants to see her. I myself have a 1 year old daughter. I went through a lot. My parents didn't support it either. They weren't with me when she was born. I had to keep her in nursery for 21 days so that i can find a place for me and her. I am still dealing with it. Looking at ur post i felt something for u. So i answered back. You what I think?? enough being good person. Don't try to show your daughter to him but when u talk with him on the phone make ur baby say something in the background such as make her laugh, say "Da Da." (since she is too Young for those)m He might feel the urge to see her hopefully. Take care of yourself. Please give my endless love to the sweetest little precious angle of your's.

Answer 2

I would give him a chance.
Everyone deserves a second chance no matter what and I don't feel like you can really judge if he gives a damn or not because those are his feelings not yours.
After you see him with your baby you might change your mind, he might end up being a good father.

Plus it is not fair to the baby they need their father especially if he can be a good dad now or in the future. It is good for the baby to know their family.
I would say let him see your child and give him a second chance because he might end up being a good dad.

Plus you never know if you dont let his family or him see your baby you never know he might try to fight for custody because you are keeping the baby away from him and he might win. His family might too they might be able to bring up a good case on this, you never know, no matter how good a mother you might be.

You of course don't have to do this right away, it is your decision in the end, but I would not reccommend keeping your baby away forever. Right now if it is still young it is not necessary to be with the fathers family, you are the mother, you are probably breastfeeding, and you probably have enough support and the baby does not need to know the other family right away. But once the baby can really recognize and understand what family means other than just the mother, I would let them.

Answer 3

This is a hard desion to make but i belive that everyone deserves a second chance. I think that maybe you could meet him somewhere and see how he acts. Hopefully he has seen what he is missing out on and he will step up to the plate and take care of whats his. If not then you will know and youl have the question out of your mind. I wish you all the best of luck.

Answer 4

That is an excessively complex resolution. I was once within the identical main issue and did transfer however most effective 31/two hours away. He truthfully ended up seeing his baby extra that he did once we most effective lived an hour away on account that I did plenty of riding to make it occur. I additionally moved for my fiance's task and I am nonetheless with him five years later. Do you have got a plan for him to look his baby? Travel preparations in brain? Who goes to pay for journey? I believe for you. You have a complex resolution in entrance of you.

Answer 5

Sounds like you don't want her to see him to punish him. That is not fair to your daughter, who needs to know her father.

You are the one who chose to have a child with someone out of wedlock, without knowing what kind of father he'd be. This is the kind of father he wants to be. You can't change that now. You made your bed, now lie in it.

You can try and get child support. That is a separate issue.

Please start using birth control.

Answer 6

You are a way better person than I am. My attitude would be, if the father of my child did not want to be bothered with me or our child, then I do not want to be bothered with his family.

Remember.......even after he told you that he didn't want you to have the child, you went and did it any way, which is fine.......but you should have mentally prepared yourself for the repercussions.