i recently caught my bf (we've been together for a year and a half) having sexual conversations with some girl on yahoo IM. this happened one time two weeks ago. we were arguing, and hadn't seen each other in a few days, although we talked everday. he said that its not a big deal, b/c we were fighting and i wasn't there. i read the IM and i can only imagine what she was doing on her web cam while my boyfriend jerked off. i may be wrong, but i feel like he cheated on me. i read more IMs all of them were the same thing, he was trying to jerk-off to sluts with web cams. i was soo horrified when i read these. i never knew my boyfriend would do something like that. i have found porn that he downloaded on his computer before, and i told him how that hurt me. but this is just so beyond wrong if u ask me. i would rather he watched porn, then actually tell these sluts how beautiful they are and what he wanted to do to them, and how hard he was watching them. i feel so violated. am i wrong?
2006-11-04 16:39:27 · 13 answers · asked by so confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have every right to be pissed off. The guy is a jerk for cheating on you. I mean, sure, he wasn't lying in bed with another woman, but he might as well have been. Porn. I can understand-- just. But the other chick, no, that's totally wrong. Take it from a guy-- it's over, forget about him, move on with your life, find someone else. Good luck!
2006-11-04 16:43:26 · answer #1 · answered by David W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems your man may not be at attached to you as you would like. I don't blame you for feeling violated. But you must look at it from a guy point of view, difficult as that will be. He probably doesn't think there is anything wrong with that. He isn't with them, in the Biblical sense, not making plans to meet them. However, I do believe that pornography desensitizes men toward the needs of a "real" woman.
His behavior is having a negative effect on your relationship with him. If you cannot communicate to him how much you dislike this part of him, or rather he cannot accept it, you will either have to let it go, or let him go.
I feel your discouragement, dear one.
2006-11-05 00:48:10 · answer #2 · answered by loriiskind 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not wrong. But you have a decision to make. That is if your going to continue on with your bf. Because if he has gone this far eventually he is going to meet one of them, if he hasn't already. He has already violated your trust in him. Because if he loved you, he wouldn't be searching out for it on the net and showing the world what a real jerk off, he is.
2006-11-05 00:46:17 · answer #3 · answered by ncamedtech 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are totally not over reacting U could find a better man than that .Think about if U married him one day and he still was a damn perv how would everyone else think of that.I think deeply in my heart that you should break up with him and find a man that treats u right dosent watch nasty because it just dosent make sense.
2006-11-05 00:47:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, your are definitely not wrong. He was cheating on you and he has some serious problems that need to be dealt with before he can have any normal relationships. For your own sake end it and move on.
2006-11-05 00:44:05 · answer #5 · answered by Izzy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he was having a jerk because you were not available to be his relief.
so long as he doesn't do anything illegal why would you care about his self-abuse?
it's no worse than if he had a female friend in the room watching him, just a harmless fantasy.
you need to accept that your boyfriend is a tugger.
2006-11-05 04:24:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have every right to be mad. That's horribly wrong and he needs to know that he should talk to you about that stuff if he's feeling sexualy frustraited, not run off to some whore on a web cam to get off.
2006-11-05 00:42:25 · answer #7 · answered by R-Girl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong. He has cheated on you. His lame attempts at self-justification, saying it was just because you had been fighting and you were not there, are pathetic at best. Get rid of him immediately, before he abuses your further.
2006-11-05 00:42:59 · answer #8 · answered by Liz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are so not wrong! he's the one that is wrong and that is considered cheating even if it's online! honestly there is no reason or excuse he can give you to make you forgive him. you should just cut it loose and move on.
2006-11-05 00:42:50 · answer #9 · answered by fallen_angel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not over-reacting. In fact, you are under-reacting. Drop this loser for good. You don't need to know him, you don't need to be a friend. You deserve (and can get ) much better than this.
2006-11-05 00:44:53 · answer #10 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋