Im 15. My boyfriend is 16. He is lookin 4 an appartment. His parents r willing to sign 4 it. His best friend is movin in w/ him....he is 15 too. They want me to move in as well. I've explained to him, im to young, i dont have enough money, is friend isnt planning on payin for anythng, my bf dont have enough money, * we're movin to fast. He doesnt think we're moving to fast b/c he thinks we're gonna get married, he say zhe ca support me & his bff, he thinks im ready & shood b/c i dont get along w/ my parents. wat do I do?
2006-11-04 14:43:17 · 14 answers · asked by itsallgravy_360 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you are smart to feel reservations about that arrangement. He might need to learn the hard way about his free loading friend.
2006-11-04 14:46:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem like you have already made your decision, which is to not move in with him, i think that is a very smart, practical idea. You are most definetly too young to be in a serious relationship like that (whether it is love or not), you are only 15 (that is still a child), you need to stay living with your parents, finish school, enjoy your childhood/adolescents before you go jumping into such a commitment like this, living with partner (rent, bills, etc).
Dont let your boyfriend put the pressure on you, if he really likes you then he will respect your decision to not move in with him. If you want to stay in a relationship with your bf, stay in it, don't break up with him because you just dont want to live with him. A partner is supposed to support you and respect decisions you make, not put pressure on you to make you want to run the other way.
Im sure that you are going to make the best decision for yourself, not what is best for your partner. All the best sweeties, hope that it all works out for you.
Please dont do something you dont want too, it only turns out bad, trust me, i have been there and done something for a partner (when in reality i didnt really want too) in the end we were both miserable, upset and ended up fighting all the time.
Take care.
2006-11-04 14:56:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, LISTEN TO YOUR GUT on this one!!! Do not move in with this guy, you are absolutely correct about you being too young. If he wants to move out on his own, that is his business, not yours. But it is very difficult to live on your own. The rent is just the start of the expense of having your own apartment - the utilities (which vary month to month, you never know how much they will be exactly) - phone bill, internet and or cable bill, insurance (health and car) - and the list goes on. To take so much financial responsibility on at such a young age is a very, very difficult thing. I can't imagine that your boyfriend has a job which would allow him to pay for that by himself - he must be relying on his parents at least to some extent. If he isn't relying on his parents, then he truly is in for some tough times ahead.
I would seriously question the wisdom of his parents for signing off on this - they are allowing their son to potentially dig himself into a situation he cannot handle and alot of debt.
As a final note, I am 22 and I just recently got my own place with my boyfriend (about a year ago). We have a good relationship, but you know what? The stress of trying to find the money to pay for everything - even though we are both high school grads and are about to graduate from a respected college - really puts alot of stress on our relationship. It's just not fun to be in a relationship with someone when you are worried about keeping the heat on so you don't freeze in the winter - you get in arguements all the time about stupid stuff, and you have to keep REALLY close track of your money. People start feeling put upon, or that they are doing more than the other person, or they are trying harder or something - and then, suddenly, you are in a fight. And there is no where to go. You have to sit there and be in this fight, because you can't go home because you already are home. And you're worried that you might not even be able to call the apartment you are in "home" for too much longer because of the rent. It is really hard to earn even $10 / hour without a highschool degree in alot of cases. $10 an hour at 40 hrs/week = $400 per week, or $1600 /month BEFORE taxes. Taxes probably brings it down to 1450 a month; then you have to figure in all of your bills and whatnot, and hopefully have something left over for food. Doubtful you would have anything left over for dates or movies or just having fun. Bottom line: You are smart. Listen to your gut. You are still young, enjoy being young, and let the worries of adult life come into play when you are in a position to deal with them better.
2006-11-04 15:00:33 · answer #3 · answered by starlet_8 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you are smart enough to realize that you are to young to move in with him, and you realize that he doesn't have the money to support you and his friend. You have that on your side. I bet that your gut instinct is telling you that you need to dump him, because he isn't the guy that you want to be with when you get married. Best thing for you to do is dump him and finish enjoying your young life as a teenager, and not make a mistake that you might regret later in life.
2006-11-04 14:48:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is to be lived in stages. Each stage is important to who you become as an adult. When you rush a stage or skip a stage eventually you have to go back and do what you missed or rushed.
Please believe this...15 is not the stage to live with a boy and think about marrying him. Your teenage years is about learning who you are and who you want to be. It's about meeting new people. It's about beginning to move away from your parents into adulthood. It's about getting ready to go off to college and learn to live on your own.
You cannot change what your boyfriend does with his life, but you have control over what you do with yours....be smart and choose not to skip this stage in your life....
2006-11-04 14:51:44 · answer #5 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
enjoy life as a teen and dont rush growing up. once you are on your own you will have plenty of responsibility knocking on your door. just cause you dont get along with your parents all of the time doesnt mean you make that big jump of moving in with your bf
2006-11-04 14:47:20 · answer #6 · answered by Quociana L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him. And move on. Sounds like this guy *is* moving a bit too fast. I mean you're 15! And he wants you to move in with him and another guy?
2006-11-04 14:46:36 · answer #7 · answered by The First 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey, no one gets along with their parents are your age. hell, i'm 28 and still don't get along with mine half the time. that's the beauty of family. your boyfriend doesn't sound like a bad person, but he sounds bad for you. there is no way that a child of 15 can support themselves. just because his parents are going to sign for the apartment, it doesn't mean that everything is going to be taken care of. my hubby and i both work full time jobs and still can't afford our bills. do what your heart tells you to do. if you don't think you are ready, don't do it.
2006-11-04 14:48:29 · answer #8 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He just wants a live in girlfriend and house maid.Do the smart thing,whatever you did or they did to you,you need to reach out to them for help before you make one of the biggest mistakes of your young life.
2006-11-04 14:54:12 · answer #9 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are 15 what else do you need to hear.....that's way too young to be moving in with someone....how do 15 and 16 year olds have enough money to have an apartment anyhow. don't do it.
2006-11-04 14:46:25 · answer #10 · answered by Christina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont have to dump him if you dont want to just be strong and stand your ground your using your head which is what you need to do because you don't want to end up out on the streets later in life explain to him that he needs to slow down because people you know thought they were going to get married and they moved in togeather and runined their lives after they broke up and you just dont want to make the same mistake.
2006-11-04 14:48:28 · answer #11 · answered by soccerbuddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋