Are there any "non traditional" type parents out there???

Question

I am college educated, married for 13 years to the father of my two children, aged 12 and 10. He is enlisted in the military, so we have had the opportunity to travel, live in various cultures and be exspoed to many things. I was raised in a "traditional" home..two parents, stay at home Mom, church on Sundays. My husband was raised by his mother after his parents divorced when he was 2 and lived most of his young life in small towns, attended Christian schools. We are homeschooling our oldest (we had issues with the public schools on learning disabilities) while our son attends a special school for children with autism. However, we are considered very "non-traditional" by many of our peers. We have always been open with our children about drugs, drinking, sex, various religous beliefs, alternative life styles, political views, etc. We choose what our children watch by what they are interested in , the level of violence and depiction of sex.

We do not allow swearing, but do not censor movies because of it unless we feel it is gratuitous or used in unacceptable ways (ethnic or religous slurs, etc.). Mydaughter has had pink hair, worn all black and spent time learning to read tarot cards. Her brother chose a mohawk as his latest hair cut to look like Sonic the Hedgehog. Both kids do well in school, are well behaved, have friends of all ages and are generally comofrtable around anyone. What I want to know is...are there other parents like me out there??? What expereinces have you had?? How do you feel you are doing compared with more traditioanl upbringins and what made you decide to "go against the grain" of how you may have been raised??

Answer 1

All that matters is that your kids are happy and doing well in school. They may or may not grow out of the hair styles and clothing trends. Sounds like your doing fine.

Answer 2

I am a 25 yr old mother of three little girls age 7,4, and almost two and i am pregnant for number four. My husband is 26 yrs old. We were both raised going to church every sunday and so forth. We chose to do things a bit differently. We are both wiccan and chose to let our children decide what religious path if any they wanted to follow. Our oldest daughter is very into the methodist religion and goes with my grandmother ro church. I think because we are so young we had to decide together really quick how we were going to do things andwe just decided to go woth the flow of things. We do not spank our children we use time out our other relaxing and calming exersizes which work very well. Our oldest daughter has an anxiety disorder as well as many severe medical problems and it has been hard at times. But the most rewarding thing as a parent is having your child come up and thank you for being the best mommy ever. my kids love life and i must say are three very well behaved well mannered children. though i would like to take credit for the whole thing i know i can't. If i would say anything else it is just let you kids be themselves and lay back a bit and just enjoy all that is your kids.... Way to go mom i love your parenting style i wish more parents were like that maybe then my husband and i would not be looked down upon so much LOL

Answer 3

I live with my fiance and our 2 daughters. We have been engaged for 3 years and are getting married next year. My parents were married 16 years. They divorced when I was 16 (yes they married after my mom became pregnant). My fiance's mother was a single mom of 2 boys. His father left his mom for another woman after being married 4 years and having 2 children. Neither of our kids are homeschooled because they are not old enough to be in school. We go to church occasionally, but not very often. I'm not too fond of going somewhere that I constantly get told by fellow church goers that I should be married before having children. My fiance and I both work and our girls go to grandma's while I'm at work. Even though we are the cleaver's, I think we're doing very well. We are very happy with our family situation. We are also as honest as we can be with our children. I know one thing that will be on the "to tell," list when they get older is that they birth control is NOT 100% effective. They'll probably want to know why their father and I weren't married when we had them right? Did I mention his grandfather is a preacher? lol

Edit: as far as expression; I think my hair was a different color every month when I was younger. I would like to allow my daughters to do the same if their father agrees to it (he will). I graduated with a 4.0. I didn't do the whole black thing, but I liked the baggy pants, piercings and pretty hair...lol. I was allowed to have my eyebrow pierced because I maintained a 4.0 and it wasn't like it wouldn't grow closed if I changed my mind. 6 months before I turned 17 my mom let me get a tiny tattoo ias long as I paid for it and she didn't have to look at it ( I paid $40 for it and it's on the top of my back). As far as cussing, firetruck was a word that came out of my mouth a lot when I was younger. My mom didn't like cussing so she told us words we could use in place of cuss words. My friends did what she asked to. I can't count the odd looks my friends and I got at school for saying "firetruck." I guess people didn't know what we were talking about. Sorry this part is about what my parents allowed me to do, but my kids are 1 1/2 and 2 1/2. They have a few years before I can tell about them.

Answer 4

I am pretty non traditional too. I am still nursing my 16 month old, he slept in our bed until he was 14 months old full time, and still does some, I cloth diaper, he has not had any vaccinations... I homeschooled my 10 year old son for a year (he chose to go back this year) due to problems with the school not providing him with services related to his problems (now known to be bipolar disorder and Aspergers syndrome). There are parents of all types out there :) Your local homeschooling groups would be a good place to find people with similar beliefs.

Answer 5

I'm non-traditional as well. While I'm not going to home school--I do the same thing with my kids. I grew up overseas as an American but I feel very much out of place here. My father was in the military and that's where I met my husband. We are hoping to get stationed back over there sometime soon but I don't know how possible that is.

I'm not about sugar-coating. I would much rather my kids be honest and do stupid thing then lye and get themselves into a lot of trouble. I've very big on keeping our communication lines open. I prefer my kids to watch sexual content compared to violent content. I woudl much rather my child be "weird" and very happy with him/herself then "normal" and unhappy or vice versa. I'm pretty much considered "weird" here!

If you'd ever like to chat--contact me!

Answer 6

My husband and I are very non traditional, and we are closer to our kids than any of our friends are to their children. We take our kids everywhere we go if possible, talk openly and honestly about ANYTHING they ask about, nothing is taboo, kids need correct answers to their questions. We are a Christian family, but do not subscribe to an organized Religion. My husband has a Masters degree in Public Health and was in the Marines, I have a degree in Criminology and have been in LE for 17 years... we do things differently in our family, and our kids are VERY WELL anchored.

We must be doing something right.

Answer 7

I would call our family "non traditional" and I think we are just fine. Our son usually watches movies with us (we took him to see Borat on Friday with us) and likes heavy metal. Usually if he finds some way of dressing he likes (right now he loves black), I help him pick out clothes and that pretty much makes him very happy. My step-mom always voices her disapproval about how we are raising him, but I want him to be his own person. Plus he does very well in school, just got done playing football and is now going into wrestling. He doesn't cuss and many people comment on how great his manners are. I always try to be open with him about stuff since I think if you keep things from kids one way or another they will find out on their own (I would rather he hears stuff from his informed parents then some dumb yo-ho who has no clue what they are talking about or will not tell the truth). I wouldn't worry too much about how other people think about your parenting skills or if you do things right or wrong. As long as the kids turn out to be good individuals, who really cares how they were raised?? There is no right or wrong way anymore in this day and age.

As for my step-mom, I don't approve of the way she is raising my step-sister since she likes to think of her as not as smart as she really is and keeps things from her (she is the same age as my son - 12). Plus she pushes her into things that I don't really approve of (like going to church) because she hopes that will make her a better person (even though she doesn't go to church herself). She constantly dumbs her down like she shouldn't be able to understand this or that and it is simply not true. In the meantime her daughter has a lot of issues and she just kind of ignores them because she thinks that at this age she should not be having issues. Talk about putting your head in the sand!!!

Answer 8

i'd not even call it a duckling. probable slightly chick despite the undeniable fact that now i do not even understand what a chick grows as a lot as be. Prolly a butterfly. probable a fowl. lifeless issues aren't to any extent further some thing better than meat. distinctly yummy with potatoes.

Answer 9

okay well i guess I'm kinda like your daughter well if nontraditional then **** the people who care so much on how you raise your kids its your choose on how you do it and don't to stop acting like that cause then they just get pissed off and start actin worse

Answer 10

NOW DAYS, ARE THERE ANY NORMAL FAMILY'S OUT THERE. THERE'S A FEW LEFT. YOU SOUND LIKE VERY CARING PARENT'S, KEEP IT UP.