it is healthy for a 6 yrs old to tell lies?

Question

my daughter is 6 years old. she make up convincing story to get away from the truth. i know she lies and i continue to ask many question that it confuse her and she blurr out the truth. i already told her it not okay, she say she knows, but yet, she still tell lies. any suggestion?

Answer 1

Is it healthy? ... no
Is it normal?..... yes

Answer 2

The majority of children will lie for many reasons with one being to avoid the displeasure of parent and /or to avoid punishment. It is good to tell your 6 yr old that it is not OK but you also need to tell why it is not OK with one being that it hurts you that she does not trust you enough that you will still love her if she admits to what she has done,hasn't done etc.Because you love her very much you will have to help her to not lie-to tell the truth by giving her a consequence. Explanations alone will not suffice for children do not reason these kind of things out as an adult would so consequences are a effective teaching tool to encourage dsired behaviour. You can give her a short time-out and have her(1) copy a short paragraph like ...It is not nice to lie for it hurts Mommy (if you are religious you can add) and it hurts God-that is if she able to print and I think ??? a 6yr old can but if not you can draw a picture representing her lying -having a bubble come of her mouth that is shaded(shaded being a lie) then a picture that is you with a big tear and if religious God (can be a cloud with a face and a big tear) that she colors and then the opposite a picture of her with a Bubble that is golden-truth and a picture of you with small hearts in a line from her to you and the same with God-the face in the cloud and a line of hearts fronm her to Him--this same consequence should be given her when she lies----if short on time and theres days with more than a few then sufficient she explain the drawing to you as the consequence. I've also had a treat jar filled with stickers-kids her age love stickers and sugar free lollipos etc and when she lies she has to give up one item from the treat jar which goes into another jar and whenever she tells the truth and appropriate for her age she gets one reminder or helpful remark from you or other parent(anyone that is in charge of her from the family at your disgression for important that there is continuity ,and being consistent)she earns one item back for important for the child to have opportunity to correct the situation.Keep in mind the most important factor is to change behaviour is to be consistent and also that your love is not dependent on the behaviour.Did therapeutic foster care for many years and every child lied even if they were caught red handed and although I would explain and teach values etc the consequences were a essential part with the object to discipline and never to punish. Loved the little ones and 6 is a great age with a child.- so open

Answer 3

It's probably not unhealthy for a six year old. We all learn by
mistakes, but it is not what you want your child to do. If she is not telling the truth because she is afraid of the consequences of whatever she is doing then I suggest you lighten up on the
consequences at least for once or twice. For example tell her you will not punish her for what she did if she tells you the truth this time.Then if she tells you the truth I'd praise her for telling the truth. Probably make that more important than what she was telling untruth about this time. I'd also talk about whatever she lied about and ask her to tell how she felt about that. But be sue you keep your promise and do not punish her. You might have to work out something with her that is reasonable with you and her to correct her behavior as well as telling untruths for the
future. Make sure that she understands you will find out the truth.
I would also stress how bad it makes me feel when she feels she can not tell me the truth. If this does not help I would talk to the school counselor for some more advise.

Answer 4

First of all, don't call it a lie, but telling a story. No one really likes to be called a liar, especially a child. When your child is telling stories that are not true, challenge her. So if she says that so and so can keep her favourite toy forever, tell her, "Oh, that's nice, I am going to call so and so's mother and tell her how nice her daughter is", watch how quickly she will tell you the truth, and thank her for telling the truth. I am happy to say that my children have stopped making up stories. If they do something wrong, they tell me the truth without any consequences, but if I catch them in a lie, they get punished big time. They are now old enough to know better.

Answer 5

It should not affect her Health. I never heard of anyone getting sick from telling a lie, especially at her age. She is 6, and a normal, typical child who has learned a new toy, how to lie! If she is lying to get her way, then it must be working, or she wouldnt keep doing it. If she is not getting her way, she'll figure it out soon enough. She is not stupid, she has found out that telling lies sometimes gets her what she wants. That's a sign of intelligence, just give her time to learn it is wrong, she'll learn.

Answer 6

Yes. There is a stage that children go through where they make up elaborate lies or stores. I learned this in nursing school. The problem is that they truely believe that they are real. My son has started to do a little of this too and he is 5. Remember that it is a phase and it will pass.

Answer 7

Explain why lying is not acceptable. But I wouldn't call it a lie, this is normal at this age. I would listen to the Whole "story" and then ask questions, and at the end tell her that this isn't what really happen, but she may be telling you of dreams, mu daughter who is 5 talks alot about the dreams she has and for a long time i thought she was telling stories until i realized it was a dream she had the night before. now when we wake up i ask her what she dreamed about and she will tell me and that was the end of her story telling.

Answer 8

Keep telling her that lieas are wrong. Don't stop telling her that. If she still tells lies then she is doing two things wrong, one telling lies, and two disobeying you. You should probably punish her. Not like slap her or abuse her or anything, just tell her to go to her room until she can tell the truth. She should learn after a while that telling lies really is bad and will eventually stop. Good luck!

Answer 9

Depends. Why is she afraid to tell the truth? Is it simple stuff or things that you can't understand why she would lie. Did she do something wrong and is trying to avoid getting in trouble? Is she afraid that if she does tell the truth, she may be in trouble? She may have seen others who do tell the truth get hurt, in trouble. etc. From tv. friends. Who knows.. Reassure her that she will not be in trouble, you're just trying to protect her. Tell her about the little boy who cried wolf story and how people started to not believe them..

Answer 10

It is normal, but it is not alright. She needs to be taught right from wrong. You need to determine a consequence and be consistent with it, what is good for one needs to be good for everytime. Hopefully, she'll grow out of it sooner then later. Tell her how it hurts your feelings when she lies and that it makes you sad, that might help. Good luck!

Answer 11

It's normal, but it shouldn't be condoned, for sure. When she lies, tell her you know she is lying and deal out a consequence. Obviously, just telling her it is wrong isn't enough.