They do not like him because he is from a different country and we met online but we have been together over a year and very very much in love and happy. we are both older I am 40 and he is 36.
2006-11-04 12:17:56 · 26 answers · asked by dlfn1966 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You are both old enough to make your decisions. You should not have to elope. You need to be mature enough to face your family and tell them you are a adult and that you love each and everyone of them but this is the decision you have made. They can except it or not but you have made the effort to stand up for how you feel. They will eventually come around. A good strong family will stand be side you what ever decision you make. It may take them awhile to accept but they will.
When I married my husband 27 years ago family could not stand him. They disowned me. It hurt me but I went on. They eventually came around!!! Your family is just looking out for you best interest.
Good Luck!
2006-11-04 12:43:04 · answer #1 · answered by barbie paradise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not intending to be mean,honest-but if you are 40 & you are asking others for the right or wrong way to do this...please don't elope or marry. You are old enough to do what you want or wish, but there is doubt in your mind from what you're about to do.
Arrange for your parents to meet this guy,and invite someone along that you know that can be as a counselor & will be open to both parties-parents/family & you and your fiancee.
Do not elope, if something goes wrong after eloping, you will not have the support from your family that you might need. This guy's family could very well be more harsh than the family you have & who could help you?
No rush to marry is there?
Stay Safe & Good Luck
2006-11-04 12:38:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure the reason they don't like him is that he is from a different country? Or that you met online? If that truly is (are) the only reason(s), then eloping is reasonable. However, since you are an adult, I would tell your family your plans. You shouldn't have to sneak. They can choose to support or not to support you.
But, if your family is concerned that he might be using you to get into the country, or there are other reasons they don't like him, maybe you should wait a little while longer. Even though you are "grown up," sometimes parents do know best.
2006-11-04 12:30:00 · answer #3 · answered by tsopolly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are old enough to make your own choices about the man you are marrying and how you plan on getting married. After you elope, send out announcements, and then ......be happy and enjoy your life together. Congrats! Life is short, live it the way you want to, and share it with the people who can be happy for you both.
2006-11-04 13:14:26 · answer #4 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
True love can never be stop. It does depend what country and what culture he comes from. Your parents may have wanted someone different because they may not understand his way of life. Its hard because dating has changed. It used to be that you married someone like a high school sweetheart, but now its changed to online dating and more bizzare relationships, which is fine.
If you two are truly in love, time will help your parnents understand
2006-11-04 12:24:19 · answer #5 · answered by Timmy Mic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two were teens, I could see your point. But at your ages, The family should be happy YOU'RE happy. Forget the eloping, just have a small wedding and invite them. If they don't show, it's thier loss
2006-11-04 12:22:48 · answer #6 · answered by phillyvic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you been together PERSONALLY for over a year, or online? If the latter, wait longer, maybe your family is right. But if you've been together in person for over a year, I'd say just get married. Don't alienate your family, and hopefully they won't disown you or anything, just make your own choice.
2006-11-04 12:20:31 · answer #7 · answered by red 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your family sounds racist. oh my. you are old enough to know what you want. I wouldn't elope exactly. i would invite them along, saying something in a letter or phone call like
Dear mom and dad,
I understand you don't like_____because he's foreign. However, he will soon be your son-in-law and we would very much like you to be present for an incredibly important moment in our lives. Can you put away your personal biases and be supportive of your adult daughter making a mature decision for herself?I love you and would love for you to stretch yourself a bit and extend a hand to both of us. You will regret the decision for many years if you don't come along and it will be ver sad for me to have it happen without you there. Please, do it for us.
Thanks,
Love,
Me
2006-11-04 12:28:47 · answer #8 · answered by outtahere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are choosing to elope with someone your family doesn't like. I can't tell you HOW to handle it, your family has every right to not like this man, but it is your life. Go live it with or without your family...it's YOUR choice.
2006-11-04 12:20:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't elope. go to family counselling until you work out the situation with everyone.
what's the difference in waiting a few more months to work things out? if you two are really in love, trading rings can wait. but marrying without your family's blessing can cause you trouble for the rest of your life.
2006-11-04 12:19:57 · answer #10 · answered by Gabrielle 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋