Cutting myself?

Question

I'm 13 and I cutt myself. I have 3 cuts across the inside of my left arm, and an X on my left shoulder, I'm gonna carve the word HATE above the 3 on my arm right below my wrist. My friends say I should stop, but I don't want to I like the feeling, and it's like when I get upset or things build up, I can't cry to get rid of them I try but I just don't cry. Cutting is my way of getting rid of it. I talked to my school counsler, and my parents made me go see like 3 other counslers but none of them helped, they just stressed me out and made me do it more. I tried drawing in a journal, but all the pictures are dead and bleeding. I drew bloody knives and razor blades. I also think about suicide and am always depressed. Is there something wrong with me? Is there something I can take or do to make it stop? The cutting doesn't bother me, I like the way it feels, but the suicide scares me.

Last night I went through with carving HATE into my wrist. It really felt good, the pian and the blood, but also the word, I don't know just something about HATE feels good to have on me.

Answer 1

I understand totally how you are feeling. I started cutting myself at about 12 years old but then I stopped a while and picked it back up at seventeen and then stopped again and just recently started again and Iam 28. I have had such a terrible life that it helped me cope. I was hurting myself because of other people. Eample: If i was to have a fight with my husband and he became abusive I would go in the bathroom and cut myself. See its other peoples negitive actions that caused me to feel a certain way, so in reality I was punishing myself and cutting myself because I did not what to feel certain feelings. Instead of getting angry or explosive or hurting the person who hurt me I would hurt myself. Cutting can be very dangerous even though you may feel its helping you. Its only making matters worse in side you. Look at it has a drug addict. When a addict gets upset and cant cope with life he will use. the problem is still there but self medicating makes it go away for a while but the problem is still with the person. So theres nothing that can take pain away forever unless you work on it. Its not going to be easy it will take time. people want to die when they feel trapped. You dont know what else to do to make you happy in life and so far your whole time being on earth has been terrible you say i rather die if i have to live like this forever. Thats the worsed feeling for a person. Death is not the answer, trust me I tried it alot of times and i was in and out of hospitals. (no way to live) You start to believe in a higher power because you cant believe all the trying you did to kill yourself and your still here. You have to find out what the root of all your problems are, who is hurting you, school pressures, mom, dad, siblings, other family ect. You have to talk about whats bothering you. Thats the only way someone can help you. You need to see a counsler but not for your parents for yourself. Apparently something went on in your family or friends and you are burying it, by cutting yourself. Please take it from me deal with what is going on with you now. The older you get the worse it will become. My mother did the same thing to me at 12. I would go because i ways forced and nothing got acomplished. I would just sit there listening. I never talked and i felt even if i did no one would understand and think i was a freak. Years later I went and found that same lady my mother sent me to. I then felt ready to talk. There were many hard things that happened to me that I was not ready to discuss. She told me it will take work and we have to start out with baby steps. That was fine with me. You seem like a bright person and one that wants to know what to do to change. You are making the first step by reaching out. Thats great half the people that have what we have dont even know were to begin and they think they have no problem. I know you want to be different and change its just you feel alone and think no one will care and if any say they do they will try to lock you up in some mental ward. I have been in many mental hospitals its nothing like tv. They do help if you talk and tell them everything you feel dont worry about sounding crazy. Your feelings are your feelings. there are medications out there that do help. Iam on some myself. So you are not alone. Iam here if you need to talk.

Answer 2

No, it wouldn't be considered "cutting yourself". It would be considered self-mutilation and that doesn't have to always happen with cuts. You're kind of contradicting yourself here. First you say that you feel messed up on the inside and you get bullied at school, and that you cut yourself. Yet you're happy at school and most of the time, and aren't depressed. Which is it? You must be feeling pretty mixed up. You're not insane or stupid, you are probably just confused about your life and how you should be feeling. If you need to tell your Mom that you have been self-mutilating and want to get help, then TELL her. Don't worry about how she is going to react. Sit her down and tell her straight-up that you have this problem. She might react by brushing it off; lots of parents do. That's when you go to your school counselor and tell her, or tell another adult that you trust to make her listen to you. And get help. Self-mutilation isn't a good thing in any case.

Answer 3

Ok you probaly are going to shot anyone else that says this but i was just like you... literally... I cut and burned(curlingiron) many times when i was 13. Im know 15 so it wasnt all that longago!!!

Its good that your in counsling but from the sound of it there not helping... Do you want to get better? I dont know how many people asked my that question!!! BUt honestly ask yourself that... if you want to heal work with the counslers if not stop going.

you might want to see a different shrink (one that can prescirbe meds) to see if you have clincial deprisson or something.....

also about the crying thing.... alot of ppl. cry when the cut or whatever. i havent. in the last 4 years i have cried 2. To me, i felt started feeling whole again after i cried.

i know this is long but i honestly feel for ya!

Answer 4

Get help now. This is not something you can fix on your own. If you are not "clicking" with the therapist you have, get another one. You should be seeing a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication.

I am 42 and started cutting at about 8 years old. I started out small like you. This progressed over many years to the point where I now have the scars from massive third degree burns over most of my body. I almost died on several occasions. I hate the scars but nothing can be done about them. I am still on medication and will be for the rest of my life. I have been hospitalized repeatedly and had shock treatments. I saw several different counselors before I found the psychiatrist I have had for about 17 years. She saved my life. I have finally stopped the burning and cutting so there is hope. I am actually a pretty happy and productive individual.

You are young and this can be treated before it gets too out of control. I used to find myself so angry because my parents never sought treatment for me as a child. Sweetie, you don't want to go down this road...trust me! Please get some help! I don't know if it is possible to e-mail me back on this forum, but if so, please feel free to do so.

Answer 5

If the suicide scares you, then your afraid of death right? The cutting gets worse...trust me. It gets damn right scary. Someday you'll cut too deep without even meaning to and then what? I agree...it feels GREAT to bleed. But nothing in this world is free....including a few seconds of happiness or the slightest smile. I' m 14, I've cut since I was 12. I'm trying to quit. I'm scaring my mom. I HATE my mom. but i still hate to see others cry over me. Don't you remember how hurt your parents were when they found out? How shocked your friends were? How much it broke them down and scared them? That's why I want to quit. I can't pay the price of cutting anymore. There's ways to stop, there's ways to feel good without risking anything. Snap rubber bands on your wrist or ankle. sprinkle an ice cube with salt and squeeze it. Take an ice cold shower. there are other ways too. Go here to find out more, they have great artwork as well. http://recoveryourlife.com/ As for the suicidal feelings. Find something to live for. Your friends maybe? They sound like they really care about you. That's all I ever wanted when I attempted suicide myself. Someone to care. Hell even I care about your life! And so does EVERY single person that took a few minutes of their life to answer your question! You can email me if you want. [e-mail] Don't give up, I promise its worth it.

Answer 6

Cutting is something you will have to deal with for the rest of your life. It's been six years for me, and I still have the urge when things get really tough. I can tell you a few things I learned along the way, though I don't know how much it will help you in your journey. A) No one (psychiatrist/family/friends) will be able to help you because they don't understand. Find a help group, people who share this solution and talk together. B) The cutting itself was never really about suicide. The pain was a release of all of the emotions I couldn't understand. As mentioned in previous replies, those emotions had to do with being physically and sexually abused as a child. As a teenager, I didn't want to deal with acknowledgement, so cutting became the alternative. The few times I tried to commit suicide were out of disappointment that no one knew or cared that I was hurting so much. C) When you are ready to stop, you will. Cutting is like an addiction, similar to smoking or and being an alcoholic. Nothing can be done to help until you're ready. When you are, then is the time to seek assistance, and then it will be time to deal with 'the why'. It took me five years to reach that point. I wish you the best of luck with this . .

Answer 7

Gosh, you have to stop!!! Your friends are right, and hey, I know it's hard, I've been going through the same thing. Visit these sites. They have good advice and alternatives to cutting. Oh, and ignore the first few evil answering people who responded to your question with hate...

http://www.selfinjury.com/
http://self-injury.net/
http://www.mirror-mirror.org/selfinj.htm
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm
http://www.selfharm.net/
http://www.sisupport.org/
http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Self_Injury/healingtouch/index.html

And if you don't find an alternative, try yoga. It's calming, it's good for the body and soul, and it can leave a person feeling very relaxed on a stressful day. Cutting is not good, and I'm sure you know that, but still, it's important to get help.

Answer 8

You need to see a psychiatrist-not a counselor. You need to be on medication. You probably even need to be in the hospital for awhile. It is nothing to be ashamed of and shame on all those who call you names. I have an 18 year old daughter who has helped a lot of people get help with this issue. It is not something that can be ignored or ridiculed. You need help and you need it now before it's too late. You're only 13-if you get help now then you'll feel a whole lot better really soon. GOOD LUCK (I keep you in my prayers).

Answer 9

What's the real pain inside that your trying to conceal? What are you really afraid of? Cutting is just a form of 'control'. It feels good because it's covering up the real pain and if provides you with a way to control what's happening in your life. The only one who can end it, is you. I'm sorry that you're in pain. You're so young and have so much to look forward to in life (honestly). If you will listen, I recommend that you start going out on walks, eat healthy foods, and take Vitamin B. Then sit down and decide what you want to do when you grow up. What are you good at? What can you contribute to this world? Then get the education it takes to reach that career goal. Planning your future path is a good way to gain control back in your life. Cutting only scars you on the outside. It doesn't heal your heart. Again, I'm so very, very sorry for what you're going through. Please stop and take good care. You are here on this earth for a purpose...

Answer 10

See a psychiatrist who can treat you through therapy and antidepresents. Even still continue writing and drawing in your journal. I know you like the feeling, but you do need to stop. It is not good and you will have these scars for the rest of your life and will have to constantly explain them, and no one will approve. I know the feeling. My friend is the same way. Try snapping a rubber band on your for now instead of cutting. Pain that doesn't show on your body. Until you get serious help that can get you better. But you do need to stop. You need to find another stress release and expression of rage. bang on drums, music, art, writing, listening to music, etc. anything where you don't hurt yourself.