I just gave my dog away about 3 months ago because I moved into a new house that only allowed small dogs. So I got a small chihuahua and thought maybe I can get over my dog,but it didnt help at all. Though I do love my new pet but I cant stop crying when i think of my old dog. And i tried to contact the people but the shelter i gave him back to said they couldnt give out any personal information. The shelter also said that they passed on my information to them and it was up to them to call me or not. But they never ever called so I guess they didnt want me seeing him. So what do I do? do i keep crying until i cant cry anymore? I wish I never moved into this new house because all of a sudden my mom said we were looking for a new house. Please Help!
2006-11-04 12:13:13 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pets ➔ Dogs
I am so sorry to hear how sad you have been. Even though you had to give your other dog away, it is a loss--much as if your dog had died. There are stages to grieving and healing. We don't go through them all at once.
Your mom may not act like she misses the dog as much as you, but don't think she isn't torn up about it. Sometimes when we are sad or scared (I'm a mom) we are scared to show it, or it comes out looking like we are angry. Moving is stressful, especially if your mom was in a position where she had to move fairly suddenly and didn't have a lot of choices about where to go.
And sudden moves are obviously hard on kids, too, as you well know. The fact that you are in touch with your feelings and can cry is actually good. Some people can't or won't cry, and that pain stays inside them until it makes them sick in other ways, often much more serious ways.
Be patient and gentle with yourself and your feelings.
It has helped me to learn that we cannot control what feelings wash over us, but we can choose our attitudes. I agree with those who told you to focus on your new little one, and it's ok if you find yourself still sad and/or crying. The sadness should slowly fade. The operative word here is slowly.
If it doesn't begin to ease up on you--if it stays raw, if you are crying off and on for weeks, if you are losing your appetite, not sleeping, sleeping too much, or avoiding things you used to enjoy, you may need to speak with someone to get more support for what you are going through. You could try your mom, the school nurse, a teacher, your guidance counselor, a clergy person if you have one (like a minister or rabbi) or your doctor etc--someone who knows you and can refer you to some more lasting help. If the first person you try doesn't seem to understand or offer much help, try someone else.
You are not alone, and your feelings are not wrong. Obviously you had a close relationship with the dog you had to give away, and you gave that dog your heart. You will not forget this dog. He or she is still in your heart. The love you invested in that dog will make it a joy and a blessing for whomever adopts it, and that love will spread. (Did you ever see the movie, "Pay it Forward" ? )
Maybe the people who adopted it are worried that contacting you will make it harder for you and the dog to adjust. I bet it does mean something to them to have your name--to know that there's a loving person who misses the dog they adopted. Take good care of yourself--you are important!
Don't worry if you don't immediately feel the same amount of love for the chihuahua. The bond takes time to develop, and just as all kids are different, all pets are different, too.
There are some things in life--heck, not some, MANY--over which we are powerless. It's very important to learn to accept those things we are not able to change. As a kid, you have to go where your mom goes. When you are an adult who is finished with school and when you are able to support yourself, you will hopefully have more choices. By the time you are my age (my kids are just about all grown) you will have loved a few to several dogs and you will cherish their memories. Someone suggested you volunteer for an animal shelter, I believe. I think that is a good idea, but I'd wait a while--maybe 6-12 months or so--and maybe even volunteer for a DIFFERENT shelter than the one you had to take your dog to--just to have a fresh start with the place and no unhappy associations with it.
Chihuahuas are great, by the way! There are neat things about them that are different from a lot of other dogs. Do you have cable TV? If so, watch "The Dog Whisperer" on National Geographic. There's so much to learn from Cesar Millan, and it's not all about dogs--in fact, more of it is about people!
2006-11-04 12:54:18 · answer #1 · answered by sdewolfeburns 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The dog you gave away is with a new family and I am sure he is adjusted and doing well. It would be very disruptive for you to try to be in contact with the people and go see him. He is their dog now. You gave up your rights. Chihuahuas are the best dogs anywhere. You are probably depriving the chihuahua of the love it desoerately needs. Turn your attention onto the new dog and keep your memories of the other one and be happy it is in a happy home.
2006-11-04 20:36:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop fixating on the dog you gave up...your dog is in a new home and that is what finding a new home for the pet is for. Concentrate on your little baby...Chihuahua's need love and attention too and they are very sensitive creatures. Love that little baby and know that your other dog is in a good home. Also you may want to think of volunteering with the Human Society so that other dogs can find good homes...
2006-11-04 20:18:14 · answer #3 · answered by tigerlily_catmom 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You seriously need to grow up. And please don't get another dog until you do. If your child was too fat, would you trade him in??? Duh!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sure the shelter you turned the dog over to went to great lengths to ensure the dogs' new family was absolutely wonderful. You should leave him there, where he isn't pawned off the first time there is a lifestyle change. As far as the crying, hopefully, after all this, you have learned your lesson, and never do something like this to any other dog ever again!!!!!
2006-11-04 20:21:30 · answer #4 · answered by ryleigh4265 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hey,
It takes time to get over getting rid of your dogs! But it will be easier as time goes on, believe me. I got rid of my dog I had for over a year and a half. I had him since a puppy. I still think of him because he was born on my wedding day and I loved him to pieces! He was the best dog I ever had. How, did I get over missing my Leo (Dog)?I thought of the bad things he would used to do. I also, got another dog to keep me company.
Well, I hope you use my advise! It really works..It will get better take care..
Peace, Lisa
2006-11-04 20:38:33 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL now this makes more sense your a kid and your parents ARE the ones that made this ill choice,like i said"it is possible in 3mos,it was eighter put down or was adpoted !and i know everyone thats been communicating with you HOPE THE DOG GOT ADOPTED/FOSTERED good luck and lets hope some body in your adult family will keep your new pet for it,s lifetime(10-13years)doesn,t seem like they will be that responsible!!
2006-11-04 20:40:07 · answer #6 · answered by reseda1420 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you relinquish a pet, you can not get it back. I am assuming that you could not control the situation because it appears you live with your parents.
Your best bet is to just try to forget it. I know that isn't what you want to hear, but at this point unless the people call you, there is nothing you are able to do. Don't beat yourself up about it. : (
I am sorry!
2006-11-04 20:22:05 · answer #7 · answered by April M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Buying a "newer, smaller" dog will not ease your pain.
For the sake of conversation...let's say you are pregnant with a "GIRL" baby, but your apartment (or mom or dad, or whomever) said you could only "live there" if you had a "BOY" baby. What would you do?
I would LIVE IN MY CAR before I would punish one of my dogs for being "inferior" or the "wrong size".
Hell, I'd live in a damn TRAILER PARK before I'd give/throw away a MEMBER of my family.
2006-11-05 02:42:04 · answer #8 · answered by kaschweigert 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What is wrong with you? How many times do you need to us answer this question? Sheesh.
You dumped your dog and then ran out and bought a chi from an unethical breeder and are recommending NEWSPAPER ADS and TEA CUPs to other people. I'm surprised you even still care about your old dog. Usually dog dumpers don't experience guilt. I just feel bad for your chi. He'll probably be dumped, too. : (
2006-11-04 20:21:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
It sounds like you need to GROW UP, MOVE ON, and quit obsessing over it.
You have a dog, take care of it!
2006-11-04 20:23:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋