My mother is a devoyut christian and i'm not. I'm dating an athiest and she has all but alienated me from her family. every time i talk to her she tells me how much she dissaproves. If i go down there i'm not even aloud to talk about my boyfriend or use MY cell phone to call him when i'm down there. I also have 4 younger brothers and sister that live with her. I miss them a lot but right now i'm not comfortable going down to her house to stay with them....any suggestions on how to deal with this?
2006-11-04 11:43:42 · 8 answers · asked by Danielle S 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm sorry you're having to go through this right now. Unfortunately I don't have a real answer for you, just support.
All I can suggest is to give it time. Don't try to force your boyfriend on your mother, but meet her terms for a while. It doesn't mean that you agree with her at all... just that you love her and care about your relationship with her. Perhaps in time, she will change her mind about your boyfriend, but maybe not. Eventually you may need to make a choice... one or the other. But for now, it sounds like you can have both as long as you keep them apart and stay away from conversations about religion.
Good luck!
2006-11-04 11:49:37 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Besides what everyone thinks, you do not have to believe in what your parents believe. You don't even have to like your parents.
If you believe in your heart that the lifestyle you have chosen is the right path then you should be proud of who you are and be strong to your beliefs.
There are other ways of communicating with your siblings.
Don't make this a huge issue with your mother. She seems very controlling with the entire cell phone thing. She may find a way to see to it that your brothers and sisters see you as a bad roll model. In time when they all get older and are able to make their own decisions. They can then visit you whenever.
if it were me, I wouldn't even bring up my relationship with her at all. If she asks, be honest. Don't cover up or make lies, it just makes it look like your doing something wrong and then you feel bad about the relationship with your man. Short and sweet answers are the best. Don't use your mother as a confidant when things go wrong in your relationship. Just keep her away from that part of your life the best you can.
If the day comes that you may marry this man, it will be your most challenging time ever.
2006-11-04 19:57:52 · answer #2 · answered by ~brigit~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While in your mother's home, I think you should respect her wishes. You can't change who you fall in love with, besides, it is not your boyfriends beliefs that you will be judged on when the time comes. We are judged on our own actions solely. This must be hard for her but, just make her happy while you are with her, go outside to make a phone call. You have one mother, love her while she is here. When you go home, do what you feel is right. There are so many reasons people have different beliefs, this doesn't make him a bad guy, if he treats you well, and you love him, you have to do what is right for you, never know, you might be the one to change him over. Good luck to you.
2006-11-04 19:51:58 · answer #3 · answered by june clever 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry to hear of how your mother is putting a wedge between you and your siblings
not sure if you are still living with her or how old you are but although she is welcome to her own opinions (and mothers DO like to over-fuss!) she doesn't have the right to alienate you from others in the family
2006-11-04 19:48:21 · answer #4 · answered by Aslan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I Just said a prayer for you and your boyfriend to recieve Jesus Christ in your hearts. You won't know until you ask Jesus in, how truly wonderful a saviour he is. Jesus loves you. Your Momma loves you honey, and she only wants the best for you.
2006-11-04 20:21:57 · answer #5 · answered by puzzledamipuzzled 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell your mother that diversity is what makes this a wonderful world and that she should learn that
2006-11-04 19:53:23 · answer #6 · answered by Lynnette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick with your mother. It pays great dividends later
2006-11-04 19:51:05 · answer #7 · answered by djsanner@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how were you raised? your mom is just worried about your soul she don't want you to lose what faith you might have
2006-11-04 20:41:40 · answer #8 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋