why are mother in laws so freakin' nasty and mean? mine can't ever pay a visit w/o saying something nasty or mean! sometimes i feel like letting her have it.... but those darn words keep ringing in my ears....respect, respect, respect!.... but she definitely never respects me, even under my own roof. is it better to say something to her or is it better to go insane? how do you who suffer from the same handle this problem? kindly help...... thanx
2006-11-04 11:29:14 · 10 answers · asked by magdalina 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
today when she pulled her crap my husband was there to hear it all when i confronted him about it he said that he wasn't happy about her remark but since our son and our nephew were ther he didn't want to start anything in front of them, i still think that he couldv'e said something......i know i'm gonna explode!
UGH!
p.s. dear spitfire , your right respect is a two street..... but her street is one way...hers! thanx!
2006-11-04 12:14:33 · update #1
today when she pulled her crap my husband was there to hear it all when i confronted him about it he said that he wasn't happy about her remark but since our son and our nephew were there he didn't want to start anything in front of them, i still think that he couldv'e said something......i know i'm gonna explode!
UGH!
p.s. dear spitfire , your right respect is a two street..... but her street is one way...hers! thanx!
2006-11-04 12:15:13 · update #2
well i did it... no turning back now! yep i exploded and told her " you should think about the things you say before you say them, you hurt people and you don't realize it..... what happened to us, we use to be like good friends"
2006-11-05 16:06:46 · update #3
mother-in-laws sure are a pain in the a**,I know mine is too!!!...go ahead and confront her,obviously your husband isn't going to...and then tell her that until she can learn how to respect others,she is no longer welcome at your house!! Besides,the bible says honor thy mother and father...it says nowhere about in-laws!
2006-11-04 12:44:35 · answer #1 · answered by NaeNae 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My mother-in-law is pretty much the same and I know how rough it is. Mine resents the fact that her son is with me and my kids and treats my children like dogs if given the chance. She will call in the middle of birthday parties for my kids with some crisis to get my husband away, she comes into our house and makes snide remarks about what my kids have and how his kids would like that, when my husbands son physically assaulted my 8 year old daughter she said it wasn't his fault he didn't understand another child being here ( the kid was almost 14 and his parents have been divorced 12 years ). I finally sat my husband down and told him enough was enough, that I loved him but if he continued to let his mother treat me and the kids this way it was over. I respected her as being his mother and she needed to respect me as his wife. It still isn't perfect and probably never will be but at least now if she does make a remark it is away from me and if she comes in my home she keeps her trap shut. Your husband is the key here, it is his mother and he needs to be the one to put a stop to it.
2006-11-04 11:47:08 · answer #2 · answered by Martha S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mother in laws can be a real trial. I'm not sure why they behave like that. Maybe they feel threatened by the presence of a new and more important woman in their son's life? If you can, kill her with kindness. Keep a smile plastered on your face and don't give her the satisfaction of responding at all to her nasty comments. Keep your visits as infrequent as possible. If she gets too nasty, then it's time for your husband to step in and say something. But my experience with a very loved but often very difficult mother in law has been that she is like a toddler throwing a tantrum. The more attention she gets, the nastier she gets. Try to find something to like about her. It makes it easier to face the visits. And if your hubby does have the cahones to stand up to mom on your behalf, consider yourself lucky. A lot of guys will face a gang of angry bikers before they'll say no to mom. Best of luck. :)
2006-11-04 11:47:04 · answer #3 · answered by faeriefolk_15 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your ally in this SHOULD be your husband -- and it sounds like he is falling down on the job. Maybe you should try to talk with him about it at a time when you HAVEN'T just had an episode with the M.I.L.
Tell him you want to make time to talk over the ground rules for your home, specifically about how things will be handled when his mom starts in on you. Tell him it is hard for you and that you just want to know that you can count on him to have your back and that you want to plan how to handle things in advance so that nothing gets blown out of proportion. Try to remain a united front as much as possible and keep the complaints to a minimum when discussing it with him so that he doesn't end up getting frustrated too, and just tuning you out.
2006-11-04 12:30:16 · answer #4 · answered by Laura 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I must be one of the lucky ones. My mother in law and I get along quite well. The only thing she does that drives me nuts is she has to plan every minute of every day!
Just try to remember that respect is a two way street. Is it possible that she feels you don't have any respect for her? Maybe you can invite her out and have try to have a decent discussion with her about how you feel. Just be prepared for her to unload her problems/feelings too. Try not to be defensive or too much on the offensive and be prepared to listen.
Good luck!
2006-11-04 11:39:43 · answer #5 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to say, "I really respect your opinion & would hate to have to fall out with you over this so we'll agree to disagree". Smile as sickly sweetly as you can all the while, works a treat every time.
2006-11-04 12:07:16 · answer #6 · answered by celtic_beaut 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i basically limit the time i spend with mine ... she lives 7 hrs away (thank goodness) but I hate mine too ... i would use "key" words ... when ever she says something nasty say "thank you" but say it as you b*tch ... it helps without getting in trouble ... :)
2006-11-04 11:39:16 · answer #7 · answered by emnari 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know how you feel, Talk to your husband and see if he can talk to her. He is your best bet!
2006-11-04 16:07:30 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
not mother-in-laws are nasty.mine and i get along great.i love her as if she was my mother.
2006-11-04 13:31:40 · answer #9 · answered by mom0195 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont care who it is when you in my home YOU WILL RESPECT ME
2006-11-04 11:50:01 · answer #10 · answered by jumiboo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋