I don't understand why people call others "hun".?

Question

I think if you're a 60 year old waitress or someone elderly, it wouldn't offend me if they called me "hun." I think the only other exception to this that would be ok is calling children under 12 "hun".
But it's really starting to bother me when I go to Dunkin Donuts in the morning to get my coffee, and my 18 year old server (and not just one, several of them, who I'm clearly older than) feel the need to call me "hun."

How can I help you, hun? Here you go, hun.


It really bothers me. Why do they do this? It just seems kind of condescending.

People did mention region. I've traveled a bit down south, and there I hear it ALL the time, which almost makes it less worse, because down there I realize it's just part of the dialect of the region.
But up north here? I don't get it. I rarely hear it anywhere else here in the north. Why at this one coffee shop? I know they don't know my name, but it's obviousl that I'm older than them, and I have my wedding rings on every day. It just kind of bothers me. I never grew up learning to call anyone "hun". It was always Ma'am or sir.

Answer 1

I don't understand it either. It's patronizing and offensive to use such a familiar term on a stranger. ESPECIALLY someone older than you. One of the things they emphasized when I was a Nursing Student is how inappropriate it is to use these little names on our patients. "Dearie" "Sweetie" "Hun" They're all just as condescending. Rule of thumb: If you don't know the person, call them sir or ma'am or some other term that indicates even a modicum of respect.

Answer 2

I think it's just a natural habit for some people. I know I've been in stores where the salesgirl has been either younger or just barely older than me and I always get a bit of a shock when they call me a pet name like 'hun'.

It can be annoying, but I don't really let it get to me. I'm sure they're not actually trying to be condescending, they probably just grew up with it and now it's part of their personality.

Answer 3

It's a dialect thing, mostly regional. You'll hear "hun" more in certain parts of the country rather than others. If you live in the South or near the South it happens more often. People that use "hun" usually say it to everyone and they can't help it. It doesn't have much to do with you, your age or gender.

This website is really interesting:
http://cfprod01.imt.uwm.edu/Dept/FLL/linguistics/dialect/maps.html

Answer 4

It's a practice that some in the service industry adopted to avoid mistakes in gender misidentification. For example, I have known women who seemed very masculine in appearance and men that have very feminine appearances. To correctly address strangers by the proper, "Ma'am" or "Sir" requires rapid gender identification. Referring to a male customer as "Ma'am" is as bad as referring to a female customer as "Sir." It won't win you a repeat customer nor tips. It's considered offensive, even though the gender identification really was an accident.

Although "hun" is something I would only want someone I am very friendly with to call me, I have seen the benefit of service workers finding a non gender-specific title to use to make the transaction seem more friendly and more personal. No ill-will is intended by it.

When I was younger, I was tall, big boned, flat-chested and often wore jeans and an oversized workshirt - coupled with very short hair and no makeup. I can't tell you how many times someone in the service industry called me "Sir." It hurts. It crushed my self-esteem. As time went on, I switched to wearing skirts or dresses when I knew I was going into a public place for that very reason. That's a bit awkward for someone who worked on a ranch mucking out stalls and milking goats.

Much later, when I entered the service industry as a matter of employment, I found myself making the same mistake. Trust me, "hun" is far preferable to making a mistake regarding the gender of a customer.

Answer 5

It's just part of the vernacular of the region. In Baltimore, everyone is "hon" (spelled with an o not a u), and is short for "honey". Why do some men feel the need to call women that they don't know "baby"? It's the same thing - just an informal greeting that goes with the area.

Answer 6

'Hun' isn't actually that bad. The one I can't stand is the degrading, misogynistic term 'love', used only by men, and people being deliberately patronizing.

"Get us some tea, love."
"Cover yourself up, love."
"Right you are, love."

ARGGGHHHHH!!
Maybe it's just the western European colloquial use of the term, but it certainly no longer implies anything affectionate. The tabloids, in particular, use it to illustrate any temporary lapse in character/judgement of a female. It makes me feel like I'm never going to accomplish anything, just because I'm a woman.

Remember, the sentiment behind 'hun' is always harmless and affectionate, regardless of how distracted or distant the commenter is.

Answer 7

You mention several times how this bothers you. WOW. Well Hun I call people "sweetie" and "Hun" alot, term of endearment, habit from calling the kiddies...and because I AM OLDER. What is the big deal?

Answer 8

Because we don't remember or don't know the persons name and when you say Ma'am, it often makes the person feel old. Miss is a nice thing to say but "hun" is more personable.

Answer 9

i hate it too. it's sooo condescending.
it's not always a nice sentiment. i used to be called hun by these girls that talked massive **** behind my back....hmm but maybe on 2nd thought i don't have a problem with hun but rather the fake girls that can say it.

Answer 10

Maybe you don't look your age? Take it as a compliment. Life's too short to get hung up on vernacular phrases. Where I live and work, hun is short for honey.