help i need serious addvice here?

Question

hi need see get professional help already spoken to a councellor didnt work, and am on anti depressants i hate myself when something goes wrong in my life ie men i lose it and cant walk away and tell lies to try and fix it up it never works and although they believe the lies i feel terrible and just want to die and i mean die i need to find something that works like some type of threaphy please help

Answer 1

I live with long term depression and can not take the anti-depressants doctors prescribe, yes, I have tried the new ones with the same results, they make me more depressed, not less!

Over many years I have developed a lifestyle that alleviates the depression in a natural way. Here is what I do, I hope it is of help to you and others as well.

Counselling: I find having a person I can rely on to talk to is very helpful when the depression is bad, many counsellors now agree that depression in many cases should be treated in a more natural way.

Food: Eat lots of raw fruit and vegetables and if you have to cook them only just cook them! Natural foods are bright in colour and so are pleasing to the eye to eat. Also ensure you eat fish once a week every week.

Drink: Limit coffee, alcohol, soft drinks and tea, instead try lots of water, fruit based cordials, herbal teas and fruit juice

Exercise: Walk outdoors in the sunshine and fresh air for 20 minutes a day. During the walk really look at your surroundings and take note of the big strong trees, cool soft grass, blue sky, and if you are lucky enough to live near water notice the water and how it responds to its environment. We tend to breathe more shallowly when we are depressed so some exercise helps us breathe deeper and increases the oxygen intake making us feel better all over. You dont need to run a marathon, just exercise regularly and only do what is possible.

Vitamins: Take multi vitamins one day and Multi B the next. You dont need to overload your system with vitamins otherwise you simply end up with expensive urine! If the Multi B and the multivitamin both have Vit C in them then that is even better.

Sunshine is the best and easiest way for human beings to absorb Vit D. So being outside in the sunshine is a good thing. Being sunburnt is not, so take care to wear a shirt, hat and sunscreen. And sunshine just makes you feel good! It actually releases some chemical in the human brain that makes you feel good.

If you eat lots of white flour based foods, fried foods, and processed foods you will find that this tends to make your digestion system sluggish and seems to add to depression so avoid them.

New Things: Learning a new thing alleviates depression because it gives us a sense of satisfaction and achievement and you cant feel satisfied and depressed at once! Take on new challenges whether it is getting around to learning a musical instrument, painting, riding a bicycle, or learning Tai chi you will find that a sense of accomplishment feels very good.

Grow something: Carig for something else turns your attention to positive things like what you can do right and what is possible. If you think that you are the worlds worst gardener try this: Ask someone for cuttings of geraniums stick the cuttings in some dirt and water daily for a week. Geraniums are the most amazing flowers to grow because they grow from cuttings so there is no cost involved and if you plant half a dozen cuttings you will get two or three plants from that. Their bright colours and often scented leaves are a delight. An old fashioned plant but a cheerful one. Daisies also grow from cuttings and are bright cheerful plants. Both daisies and geraniums grow really well in pots and so do many vegetables! There are lessons we can only learn by osmosis, we have to absorb the lesson and growing something gives us some of those lessons.

Get Involved in Your Community: Join an interest group, a local health centre committee, or a church or other organisation. Being with others with a common goal can be very upliftng. Being with, caring about and learning about other people leaves no room for you to be wound up in your depression.

Music: Get a good collection of music of all kinds, try some classical, some heavy rock, some lilting little melodies, african drumming music, aboiriginal music, the more variety the better. listen to all kinds of music.

Get a pet: You dont have to buy a dog or cat, you could try a small aquarium of fish, gold fish are hardy little creatures and a delight to watch. You could try hermit crabs, a pair of finches (happy little chappies that are always up to something!) Caring for another creature takes the focus away from your feelings and places it on something more positive and the sense of achievement you receive by attending to the needs of another creature makes you feel good.

Spend time with people you care about: Whether it is relatives and friends or whether you would like to volunteer at a nursing home, school for children with a disability or whether you would like to volunteer to teach a course what ever kind of people you like to spend time with get out and mix.

Laughter: Buy some comedy cds or dvds, go to comedy shows, Buy joke books, hang around people who are funny, silly, and just plain fun. Laughter is really the best medicine.

Writing: You dont have to be the next blockbusting author just write. Every day just write for 20 minutes. Write anything. When you feel you are blocked from writing write that. "I feel blocked. I feel blocked. How do I get unblocked. I want to write freely" Pretty soon you will sit down and be able to write. Write about your day, or keep a grateful journal noting every little thing that you are thankful for.simple things like only one red light on the way to work, it is a sunny day, I heard the birds singing this morning.

All of this will feel very overwhelming to someone who is depressed, dont pressure yourself about any of this, simply add one of the things from this list to your day and keep doing it and when you feel you need more add another, trying to fit everything in at once will feel overwhelming but adding the things that work for you and just doing them. Remember you dont need to be an expert to enjoy things just enjoy them.

Answer 2

Take a really good look at what you say here, then try this on for size. Men do not begin to grow up until they are at least 35 so maybe you expect too much from them? Seriously, you take all the blame and responsibilty into yourself and the lying is just your anxiety that you have failed. You need to look at why you constantly blame yourself when any logical analysis will say the blame is at least 50/50 if not less on your side. There are reasons for this, people don't do things withotu a reason. What you need is a counsellor who will help you look at the reasons and find ways of putting them out of your mind. My suggestion would be a CBT or DBT trained Counsellor but from what you say a low-level counsellor would not work for you, you have defence mechanisms that would block that. I have worked with people in your situation for 25 years so please take these two things as true: one, other people, some of them in a worse state than you are now, have sought this type of help and it has given them their lives back; two, even though it does not seem it sometimes, the world is a place of fantastic futures and happiness that you can get to, with the right assistance. Will think of you, Good Luck!

Answer 3

The first thing you need to do is come clean w/ all the lies. When people tell a lie they don't intend on telling more lies to cover up the lies before. In the end, you end up in one big mess. You may lose some friends along the way, but believe me after you come clean you will feel a lot better. You have to have faith that it is not the end for you. Also, you need to stop telling yourself that you hate yourself. I used to do that all the time and it got so bad that I started having anxiety. Please, even if you don't feel like you love yourself try telling yourself atleast once a day. I promise this will help you. When I was going through some hard times in my life I read a lot of self help , spiritual, and physchology books. One book you should read, and I must stress that it really brought me closer to the spirit inside myself was " Conversations with God ". I'm not a very religious person, but I do believe in a higher power and I have a lot of faith in my soul. Please read it. You can get it at the library. Good Luck!!

Answer 4

I tried several counselors/therapists before I found the right one. You need to have someone to talk to. There is the therapist that's right for you..You hae to keep looking. I do think some therapy. Everyone's counseling techinique vaires. You may try 10 or 12 before you find the right one.If you lived here I would refer you to mine.he's awesome.

Also depending on how long you have been on meds..the meds may not be right or the dosage. It will take 4-6 weeks before you will start telling a difference (I know it sucks) The drugs when they kick in will help with the depression. As far as hating myself..that is something you really need a therapist for

Answer 5

Therapy takes time. Keep trying until you find a therapist that you like. Medication can only do so much. You need to learn how to be honest.

Answer 6

mate look with in your shelf as first you have to be true to your shelf first,that is one of the hard thing to do then we have life i hope thing work out for you don't lose your dreams there part of our lives.

Answer 7

Seek out another counselor that you can talk to.