hi i am married and have one year old daughter,i know my hubby for last 6 year. when beginning he used to beat me a lot whenever i argue with him , when i were pregnant last year i caught him when he called one girl and had sex chat , he apologize and said he wont do it well i trust him , sometimes he do said i am possesive and always suspect him,i am working as part time duty manager in one of retail company my earning okay for me and daughther ,now my question is i love him so much but i dont know whether he sincere to me or not , i dont know whether can i live without him, please help me and at the same time are all the mans like this ? i do decided to leave him but because i am from asian background all my friend family will say something bad if i leave they will look down on me , as a wife and mother i never missed my duty my only bad thing is something i raise my voice thats it , if i leve him he definitely will fight for my daughter what should i do please help me ????????????
2006-11-04 09:20:15 · 18 answers · asked by chittu kutty 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You seem worried that if you leave you will lose your daughter. You could get some free legal advice from the Citizens Advice Bureau. I beieve you get half an hour of legal advice free. Just because you raise your voice sometimes doesn't mean you are a bad mother!
If your husband is violent then you should not stay. You are worried how you will manage without him but that is because your confidence is low. You have a job and enough money to support yourself and your child and you must do what's right for you and your daughter. Family and friends will eventually come round.
2006-11-04 09:31:32 · answer #1 · answered by LiL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lady, if you are in an abusive relationship then I would reccomend leave pronto...Any other mistake can be forgiven but physical assault is a habit which never changes.
You have a daughter... do you want her to be brought up in the shadow of a man who cannot respect his wife?
A decent lawyer can easily ensure that you retain custody of your child as long as you have some proof of
a) Physical abuse
b) demented / freaky life habits (phone sex)
As far as family & friends ...
People who matter don't mind.. people who mind should not matter....
On the other hand if you are sure that he has changed and will never raise his hand on you... I would suggest that you give you marriage a chance...
Life as a single parent is very difficult and it is always best if your child has both parents in her life for balanced upbringing.. but only if your husband has actually changed and you are sure that he will never hit you again..
Remember... if he has hit you.. he is capable of hitting your daughter too...
You are the finally the best judge....cause this decision is not about your life alone.. its about what matters the most to you..
Your daughter...
2006-11-04 09:38:37 · answer #2 · answered by borntough 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, If he has beaten you before, he will do it again. If he has cheated, he will do it again. Never say that you can't live with out him...men come and go...your life doesn't. Don't stay if you don't feel comfortable. You do not need a man to take care of you and your child. Think of your child and your self first...then sit back and look at all the things he has done to you. You need not be afraid to leave, there are plenty of shelters and women's centers that will help you get out and stay in a safe place. They will let you contact your family and such, but you will not be able to contact him. They will also help you fight for custody of your child. Just take a look in the phone book in your area and you should start from there. If he is beating you, believe me your daughter is next...I have seen it too many times !!!!! Put your child and yourself first no matter what......
Best of luck to you..:)
2006-11-04 09:29:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he continues to be abusive, you must get out regardless of what friends or family think. Your priority is your daughter and you must protect her. Tell him (unless you think he will hurt you) that you are reaching the point where you want to leave because of how he treats you.
If he hits you again, call the police so you have the abuse documented - so if you go to court they will unlikely give custody to an abuser.
2006-11-04 09:27:31 · answer #4 · answered by chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound so unhappy deep down why don't you just leave and find happiness some where else,i know you say you love him but is it enough too stay if you leave your right it will not be easy but then nothing in life is easy,you have to stop take a deep breath and a long think to your future for you and your daughter and follow you heart i wish you all the very best good luck...........
2006-11-04 09:31:16 · answer #5 · answered by skye 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, no, most men are not like this. You are unlucky. Secondly, if he still beats you then definitely leave. It is damaging your self-esteem and harming your daughter's ideas of what is reasonable in life.
If he isn't still beating you, only you can decide. Good luck - go with your instincts and be strong. You deserve better.
2006-11-04 09:34:39 · answer #6 · answered by Older&Wiser 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the scumbag! He has control over you, he knows it and he exploits it! Show him you're made of better stuff and show your daughter what a strong independent and fabulous mother she has! And no, not all men are like this you've just been unlucky!
Best of luck for the future x
2006-11-04 09:31:20 · answer #7 · answered by doodlenatty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were living before him. Do not take abuse whether physical or verbal abuse. You child ,in most court cases will go with the mother. Don't stay with someone that abuses you. Will destroy the only thing that really counts and that is your child. This will scar them for life.
2006-11-04 09:27:17 · answer #8 · answered by Chuck C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how can u love him ,with a statement like that there's no help for u, start again ,this time saying i was forced to marry a man from backward society,who believes that a women is less important than a animal, just disappear if u can
2006-11-04 09:58:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am very sorry about ur position. not all men are like this so if u do decide to leave ur husband there are plenty of worthwhile guys out there. personally i think u should leave him and if he does fight for ur daughter, whose to say he will win, if he has cheating tendancies then u may win.
good luck whatever happens
Becka
2006-11-04 09:27:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋