Okay, I caught feelings for a friends with benefits. We called things off because he says he only feels friendship. But now he wants me to spend time with his children. I love children, but I am afriad that I am going to get attached to them, since I already have feelings for him.
I did ask him why he was bringing them over, and he said "you said you wanted to meet them..."
But I said that when I thought there was a chance between us.
Is he expecting to have me around awhile, even as a friend? or is he trying to get me attached for a possible future relationship?
2006-11-04 09:17:26 · 25 answers · asked by Mintygoodness1 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow, I could see how you would be confused! Most people don't involve their children unless they're serious. I think he is confused about the way he feels, and he is searching for an answer. I would be cautious, but don't be afraid to see what could happen. If he's good to his kids, then he just might be trying to pursue something with you now. Good luck!
2006-11-04 09:22:15 · answer #1 · answered by jrw3571 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah..He thinks the friendship is still the same between you two, even after the benefits. He made it clear that he don't want a relationship. Alot of guys are like that, want to get what they can then pretend everything is the same even afterwards. If I was you, I would tell him that you need to stay your distance for awhile, because your feelings started to get involved and you don't wanna get hurt in the long run. Basically, I would tell him not to bring his kids over because you don't wanna get emotionally attached to them as well.. i think your playing with fire if you don't stay your distance, I think your setting yourself up for a heartbreak...I would just completely END the friends with benefit's thing, even though it might be hard cause you developed feelings, but you gotta if you don't want to get hurt..So the ball's in your hands now..Your choice..Good Luck
2006-11-04 17:26:01 · answer #2 · answered by mmarie1221 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. Not to be mean at all or anything, but being friends with benefits isn't a good way to go.. someone *always* gets hurt. Regarding the kids, if he doesn't' want to have some kind of relationship with you, it's really irresponsible for him to bring them around to get attached to you, and vice versa. My advice is to be straight up and say "We don't have a serious relationship anymore, and I love your kids, but if we aren't an item, maybe we shouldn't get so attached to each other" (or something to that effect!) Good luck!
2006-11-04 17:27:11 · answer #3 · answered by SBWV09 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he wants to have you around as a friend (that is what he said - he feels only friendship).
If he wanted to have you around for awhile for more than a friend he would tell you.
I also think he knows that you will feel closer to him and more attached if you meet his children so he wants his cake and eat it too.
Do not invest more emotional energy in this man, you will only continue to be hurt. You deserve better than that.
2006-11-04 17:26:17 · answer #4 · answered by coolstreem 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to this old fool like he might be confused as to what he wants. No father wants to introduce their children to a friend that they might become attached too then tear them away from them, none that I know of anyway. But if he is just playing you in order to stay friends with benefits then you may want to consider whether or not it is worth it. You sound to me like a pretty mature lady and so you would know best how you would handle this situation. Good luck and be realistic with yourself about what he is asking of you.
2006-11-04 17:22:08 · answer #5 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello Socks, I understand your concern. Tell him you need to talk with him and ask him exactly what he sees for the both of your futures or ask him What type of a relationship is he looking for from you. You are right it could be a possible relationship; but guys are sneaky,,,,,,,,, be careful that he was not or is not looking for you to be the nanny or baby sitter. Sometimes guys check out females or see how nice they are for a possible babysitter. I know this is a sensitive subject. Good luck Socks.
2006-11-04 17:33:28 · answer #6 · answered by Ann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he just wants to you around becuase he wants a friendship with you. I dont think the friends with benifits actually work, someone always gets more invovled and ends up getting hurt. So why dont you just be friends with him and get to know him more and get to know his children. Its not going to hurt and if there is a relationship out there for you guys then why push it, it will happen eventually
2006-11-04 17:20:52 · answer #7 · answered by Aeris_141 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't forget that statment he made "He only feels friendship". You need to find someone that wants more and is not playing with you like this person is. If he just wants to be friends why does he want you to meet his kids. Sounds to me like he wants you as a back-up girlfriend. You deserve better :)
2006-11-04 17:23:20 · answer #8 · answered by olmedaevelyn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is trying to keep you in a relationship. For whatever reason, I think he is the only one who knows. He is awful bold to bring his children to meet you if he is in another relationship. Maybe he is weighing the scales; are you really what he wants, does his kids like you/or is he testing you and tormenting you and trying to make you jealous.
2006-11-04 17:29:55 · answer #9 · answered by scrapper723 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he said just as a friend then thats what he means and if you dont want to meet his kids then dont its really simple he just wants to have sex like yall been doing and now you caught feelings either keep things the way they are or just b his friend with no benefits simple and plain
2006-11-04 17:24:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋