Is my opinion inflammatory and hateful or does it make sense?

Question

I believe that the best family is one where one man and one woman marry each other and then begin to raise children. That is, they wait until marriage before procreating.

I believe that this, the traditional family, is best for teaching children the lessons of life, including good morals.

Families with two dads or two moms or one dad and several moms, or any combination OTHER than one mom and one dad, do not do as good a job at raising children.

The only exception I sympathize with is where one parent dies and leaves the other to raise the kids alone.

Answer 1

You're 100% correct. Never mind the idiots who try to say how bad the normal family is and how "loving" and "great" others are.

Answer 2

I agree with your opinion.

However, you have to expect that happy, well adjusted people who grow up in a way that is "inferior" in your opinion will be VERY hurt by what you're saying.

And there are some things you don't include. What about the wife with the abusive husband? What about the abandoned wife (or the abandoned husband?) What about a child raised by grandparents, or are adopted?

Just because a couple are married does not mean they have a healthy relationship. Just because a parent shares DNA with a child does not mean he or she is a decent mother or father. I know plenty of people who were raised in a "happy" family where the parents were married, later had kids, and raised them together in the cookie-cutter neighborhood house, and the kids are beyond screwed up.

In an ideal world, children raised by a married mother and father would benefit from this arrangement. But since there are no perfect people out there, there are no perfect families out there, so that kinda throws this theory out the window.

It's okay for you to say you believe it's best to be married, then have children, and stay married. That's okay.

It's not so okay for you to say that people who have a situation other than that "do not do as good a job at raising children." If you say that, you are implying the children from "good homes" are better than children from "bad homes", and that's just not the case.

Answer 3

Hmmm how are you going to pick best answer for this one? You have a very strong opinion. I think you should have very strong opinions on how you want to raise your family and how you want to live your life. I think that makes perfect sense. However, you cannot judge that other families are not happy. Leave that one to the big guy and the othe families. Most families where one parent dies, there usually is some sort of remarriage or a family members could help help out. Children need a good man as a father figure. Doesn't necessarily need to be a dad. And a good mother figure or female role model. I know about a lot of awful outcomes and torn families where there was a man and a women as parents. I don't care how you mix it, there is always going to be good eggs and bad eggs.
As long as they are not hurting anybody, how can one judge if it is a good life or a bad life.

Have a lovely day!

Answer 4

Well I agree and disagree.

I do agree that both parents should be around, and that's it's important for a child to have a mother AND father.

What I disagree with is your statement that any other combination won't do a good job in raising their children. I think that's stereotyping without looking at the statistics of all families. Yes, there are nontraditional families that poorly raise children. However, the same can be said for traditional families. And both categories have families that do a wonderful job raising children. My mom was a single parent with my for nearly 7 years. She did it because my biological father had an affair with a *14 year old.* We were a nontraditional family in the sense that my father was not around, but she did an amazing job at raising me in that critical period of my life and she made an awesome choice at protecting me from the awful things my biological father would do. My mom has since remarried and I have a wonderful dad I consider my father. But I will never discount all the sacrifices she did to make sure our small family was secure and full of love...and even discipline.

I say all that to prove a point, that you cannot judge a book by its cover. I am a Christian, and a traditionalist in terms of families, but even I cannot and should not make generalizations when I don't know every last person to be able to speak for them.

Answer 5

I believe that being a good parent and having a successful, happy family should not be defined by "one male, one female, marriage before sex, traditional values are the only way to go". While that may be what is best for your family, and for thousands of others, it has certainly been shown that other families..be it with same sex parents, a single parent by whatever cause, an unmarried parent or any other possible combination there in, is not more prone to failure than any other. I have seen "tradtional" homes, with stable loving parents have children with drug issues, run ins with the police or schools just as often as I have seen traditional families succeed. I have seen families with two moms turn out happy, well adjusted successful children and one with two dads meet some of the problems listed above. My sister was a single parent by choice and while she certainly had her share of challanges in raising her daughter alone, it was by far a better option than trying to raise a child in a home where the two parents aren't truely happy together.

I don't find your statement hateful...it is your personal belief. It becomes hateful if you use it as the sole judgement of what is best for everyone and then judge other families solely on that specific belief rather than the individual strengths or weaknesses of each family. It is certainly inflammatory as any sweeping statement that seems to negate any other option as being "right" or "best" will certainly provoke controversy. Think of it like this...you would not like it if I said I felt that tradtional parents were unable to raise well informed, indepent children since they refused to acknowledge the changes in society or the pressures our children face. That is not my belief for all traditional families, but merely a statement I am using to illustrate my point. And you can bet that will cause controversy as well!

Answer 6

Your answer does make sense, but is rather narrow. The traditional family is a great ideal, but what about abusive parents, alcoholic parents, military personnel who can't be available all the time,or even spouses such as my ex-husband, who decided after the birth of our 3rd child that he didn't want the responsibility of children ? By the way he was raised in a 'traditional family'. I think that a family is a group of people who need and love each other, even when they may not like each other all the time. I think that my children and myself are a wonderful family.

Answer 7

I feel it's rather a rather limited opinion. Sometimes, it's not healthy for the parents to stay together and more emotional or physical damage can come to the children when parents "stay together for the children's sake".

For example, my husband has two children (ages 6 and 11) from a previous marriage. His ex-wife is bi-polar (diagnosed well after they were married and already had their first child) and when she's on her medications life's great. However, as many people who are bi-polar or dealt with a bi-polar will tell you, when life's good she doesn't feel she needs her medications and therefore it's an endless cycle of ups and downs. For this reason, we have custody of the kids and she gets them for visitations. When the kids are with her, she has no rules and no consequences for them. She's verbally assaulting towards the kids. Would you remain in such a situation and put your kids through this on a regular basis? I hope not.

We have a blended family but we do not refer to the kids as step children vs our biological son... they're all our children... end of story! I feel that before you pass judgment on another family situation, you should walk in their shoes as not every situation is black and white.

Answer 8

actually you are wrong, statistic show that gay couples are raising children that have higher graduation rates, and higher SAT scores then those of what is considered "traditional families"! I do not have a specific preference on what other people do with their lives, it does not affect me. Why do you care about what someone else does with their private life? Doe sit affect you? I say, mind your business, and if you don't like it.....don't do it! Ultimately people will do what they want to do, in the future this "alternative lifestyle" will become a norm, so get use to it.

Answer 9

I don't think you want an answer to this question, I think you are using it as a way of pressing your opinions onto other people.

No matter what the family consists of, isn't it important that the children feel loved and free to love? Isn't their self esteem and self confidence paramount? Isn't all their needs being met, including emotional what is important?

If a child gets that from a traditional family, then good for them. If a child gets it from an extended famiily then good for them. It doesn't really matter.

Answer 10

It is an opinion.

Some would state that it is an inflexible opinion, as you lack credible evidence to prove that two dads, two moms, or one and numerous, do not do as good of a job as Mom and Dad.

They could counter your opinion with mom and dad and dad is a wife and child beater. What kind of atmosphere is that?

You also do not give the option of the widow (or widower) remarrying

But, you put forth your views in a clear sense. I may not agree with your opinion, but you have the right to express it

Answer 11

You are absolutely right.... however, not many of us are blessed anymore with that. Sometimes we have no control over the events that happen in our lives. Everybody gets married with that idea... no one hopes to get married and get divorced and raised kids alone or have 2 families for their kids. People that go through divorce and lose that traditional family scenario, did not want to do that, and are more than likely doing the best they can with a bad situation. It is not a chosen situation