How does one cope in a world when feeling misplaced all the time without knowing why?

Question

All my life it has been a struggle for me to feel safe and secure. I fear people, places, life in general. But I have adapted to this, and most do not know that I have this horrible delima. Someone mentioned Anxiety Disorder. I don't know. But I have done all sorts of therapy, spent a lot of money...anything, so that I could face it and work with it. I do not believe in drugs. I just wonder if there is something else out there that I have not thought of? Any expert out there who might be able to shed some light? I know my potential is great, and I feel where my path is in life, but too scared to actually do it.

I'm very intuitive, but that does not help when I am faced with this strange thing. ugh....please, serious replies only would be nice. Thanks.

Answer 1

Your feeling is just a feeling and you are NOT your feeling. You don't need to cope with it, you can let it go. There is a course called the release technique created orginally by Lester Levenson that will help you learn how to do just that. I used it and it has helped me so much in life especially in the area of fear. The website is www.releasetechnique.com
Also try reading Lester Levenson's autiobiography, "No Attachments, No Aversions."
Think of your bad vibes and fear as energy within you. Since it is just an energy, you can actually let go of it and release it. Once you release it all you will be your natural and happy self. You don't have to live with fear.

Answer 2

Most men think with their other head, women feel with their heart. He has love for your son thats a different level of care. I can't really comment too much on you or him because I don't know any of you so I will speak based on what I believe. 1- I love chicken but i still have to mix it up and eat other meats from time to time (i admit im not a lover im a "hoe" according to this society). 2- The mom dad figure-i don't think makes a difference whether your child was born to be a priest or hitman, i choose nature or nurture, i'll let creation produce destinies as it wishes but I will provide the best I can with food clothes and advice I think can prolong their life. The one time that i was with a woman for three years in the end i honestly did get tired of the sex and relationship and needed something new to feel alive. Many older couples say that the same dish can be prepared in many different ways to keep renewing the love- i don't think like this at all because i don't want the same dish forever. 3- Why do women make having a partner the number one priority in life? Nowadays im more worried about being fed and employed than having some love saga (just my two cents). I would worry more about my son having everything and then that I have everything. Sounds like having everything to you means having him but you sound like u know that thats not what he wants so I say start getting over it, suck it up , this is life nothing is promised you're lucky u even met such a needle in a haystack, and believe it or not (since you sound like ur a lover type) there is a better man out there that will love you the same way this man did at some point. Either way get a grip you're in earth still not heaven , you thought this was going to be a walk in the park? be happy that creation has challenged you to overcome what you think is nonsense

Answer 3

First of all, I'm not a professional psychologist, so I can only offer you my insight, my experience, and some training I've had. I wish I knew how old you are, that would help in trying to understand what you might be going through.

You say "all your life" but that could mean from the time you were old enough to think about this (about the age of 7 to your present age teens or twenties).

I'm going to guess that if you don't feel safe and secure, it's because you were raised in an environment that wasn't safe and secure. Maybe there was abuse or neglect.

If this is true, and you've had therapy (all sorts?) the only reason that you have not gotten over your feelings is because it takes time. Therapy can help us have "head knowledge" and it appears that this has worked for you. You are able to function in spite of these feelings of not being safe or secure.

So what to do about those feelings that are still there. Would you believe that it takes time for those to dissipate? If you dealt with neglect and abuse the first 18 years of your life, it might take as long as 18 years before you are ever really completely over that. BUT YOU WILL GET OVER IT. Slowly, but surely. Every year added helps you to heal. Just keep doing things that are healthy. If you need to go back into therapy because the feelings are getting hard to handle again, then go back. You'll find you won't need to stay in therapy as long.

I am going to compare it to post traumatic stress syndrome. I once had something happen in my life that was very traumatic. It took me about 10 years before I could talk about it without crying. And that was just about a year of my life. But I did heal. You will too.

As for feeling as if you don't belong, I think that's something that's very common to a lot of people. Make your own place in your own life where you live. There was a song back in the seventies that said, "You have a right to be here." Why did a song with lyrics like that become so popular? Because it is a common struggle for people--that need to belong.

Surround yourself with people who are positive and accepting. They say we can't choose our family, but we can choose our friends. And our friends are our chosen family. And the thing with making friends is that you'll come across some duds before you find one that's true for you. So, don't despair if you're dissapointed.

Most importantly, love yourself. Be good to yourself, and know that your creator loves you.

Answer 4

I am GOOD

I am GREAT!

I am TERRIFIC!

and NOBODY'S GOING TO RAIN ON MY PARADE!

I had to start affirming myself everyday with the above because I did not feel like I was up to par with my co-workers. After several weeks, I began to believe in myself and what I was saying.

I am not a professional, just a mom. Try telling yourself how good you are each day. Say it enough and you (like me) will believe it.

Answer 5

Yes it is probably anxiety related. You might try Yoga in an effort to feel more comfortable within yourself so as to feel more comfortable out in your life. It will change your life.

Answer 6

I'm a mental health counselor who specializes in anxiety disorder!

I feel the same way you do about medication. I only advocate for meds as a very last resort. If you want to do it without medication, try wholistic methods that work.

Some examples include...

1. Walk for 20 minutes/day at a fast pace - - Look at the things around you. Be in the moment. I make my walks about looking at beautiful landscapes and homes. I don't think of them as "work" or "exercise."

2. Let your mind go free - - When you are doing things on a daily basis, you worry. Undo this by changing negative thoughts to positive ones. Use what's called "Guided Imagery" to think of nothing but a beautiful scenery or a pleasant moment in your life. For example, if you have a great boyfriend, think of your first kiss. If you love a certain song, think about it. But erase all the "anxious" and "negative" thinking from your mind.

3. Keep a journal - - Most people with anxiety have a tendency toward "worrying", particularly just before bed time. "Oh no! I have to do the bills tomorrow!" or "What if I don't remember to pick up my check at work!" or "What if I get yelled at by my boss!" etc...etc... Best thing to do in this case is what I call "cleaning your brain" by writing a quick check list. Get a blank piece of paper and write down everything you're supposed to do in a check list (e.g. "write telephone bill, mail letters, visit friend in hospital, work at 3 p.m., clean kitchen"). You'll be amazed at how this not only combats "worry", but it also erases so much out of your brain that you are able to sleep like a baby. Ever since i've started using the "check list" method, I've never suffered from insomnia again!

4. If you have fears/phobias, try what's known as "systematic desensitization", which means that you'll want to systematically desensitize yourself from the thing you fear. For example, if you are scared to go to a certain place, try taking a friend with you and driving by that place every day for 2 weeks. Laugh and joke, listen to the radio, just go by the place in a very matter of fact way. Then, after 2 weeks, ask your friend to stop and park in front of the place. Sit there, listen to the radio, hang out, have fun. Do this for only 10 minutes at a time for two weeks straight. After 2 weeks, try walking up to the door of that place and then turn around and go back to the car. Do this in a very non-chalant, relaxed way. After 2 more weeks, go to the door of the place and open it...step inside. Then stand there for 2-3 minutes. Etc...etc... Eventually you will be able to go inside. And over time, you will be able to do it without your friend too.

That was a very simplified version of systematic desensitization, but I just wanted to show you a quick example. Remember, this process takes months (not days or weeks!). So don't be hard on yourself for not "undoing" the fear/phobia in a short time. Tell yourself, "It's ok. This process takes many many months. And that's ok."

I've can refer you to a terrific site, where there's a free mini-course for conquering anxiety. I've left the link below.

On this site, there's loads of free articles written by a former psychotherapist who knows what she's talkin' about! I know because my clients love her stuff!

Also on the site, there's an awesome ebook that does wonders for anxiety, in the way that i've described above! I highly recommend it! You can read it pretty quickly, and you'll get a ton out of it, and you'll learn how to beat your stress without meds. (You'll see the ebook page after you sign up for the free "anxiety" mini-course.)

Good luck!

Answer 7

try hypnotherapy. you will probably find out why you feel like this and be over it. or there is always neuro linguistic programming, which goes hand-in-hand with hypnotherapy. look into it = 0 )

Answer 8

i don't know but I got the same thing