Ok I need some honest answers here. Why is it that people say in general to wait until you either meet someone special or wait until you are married when in fact they don't themselves? People also may say that they wish that they have waited but yet they still go messing around? Why is it ok for them and not others and look down on those who do wait?
Also why is when people say this they don't want to be with someone who waits. They would rather have someone who has experience? That sounds so horrible because while they are saying this there are people who ARE waiting but can't find anyone that will give them the time and day because of it. It's like they say one thing and do another. So my main question is why say it if you don't mean it?
2006-11-04 08:28:13 · 20 answers · asked by Lily 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I agree with you and its truely sad how people think one thing and do another. But I haven't heard anyone mention why they don't date/want virgins while telling them to wait and that is whats REALLY sad. I've never had that problem but a friend of mine does and if people would just look past that then they would see a great girl and not someone who knows how to screw. :(.
2006-11-04 09:18:06 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you really need “honest” answers, I’ll give it a try.
First there are the moral issues that usually have to do with religion.
Next there are the disease and pregnancy issues. Actually pregnancy is one of the big major ones since nothing is 100% protection and it is so devastating to your life and your child’s life to start earlier than you have planned on starting a family.
But the real payoff in waiting... is the sex. The fun two people that have never done it with anyone else but their partner. It brings them so much closer together. It’s like a little kid in a candy store experimenting. In general they enjoy sex so much more together than most people and develop a much stronger bond.
As far as experience... that’s exactly what you want to avoid.
Imagine this... you are going on a trip somewhere that you have never been before. However, your partner has been there before. You avoid doing the thing that isn’t worth doing but you also see the vacation through the eyes of your partner and what he likes to see and do. IOW, you don’t get to experience it together.
Why does people do what they tell you not to do?
Ask anyone who smokes and you’ll get a better idea. They really enjoy smoking and wish they hadn’t started.
2006-11-04 10:11:06 · answer #2 · answered by Raylene G. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are usually asking what is the best time to have sex for the first time and you are hearing their advice...a lot of times we have regrets about the first time and there is a good chance they do not want you to go through the same thing they went through. Oh they mean it in the way that if they could do it over again they would have waited...but I think we all hear what we wanna hear in the heat of the moment and cooler heads prevail too late afterwards. Just know that in general they are not trying to be two faced or hypocrites when it comes to this subject. It is coming out of experience.
2006-11-04 08:34:04 · answer #3 · answered by tigerlily_catmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to have sex is easy and yes even fun BUT to wait for someone truly special or even till you get married is DEFINITELY your best bet! for several reasons, as far as virgins go, guys mostly want the bragging rights. and to loose your virginity just so a guy can say he had a virgin is a terrible thing because your first sexual encounter is just that "your first" their will NEVER be another maybe other types of experiences but ONLY ONE FIRST TIME. now for those who wait like myself, sure we may not have the experience, but the combination of waiting and having someone truly special to she the experience with creates an ingredient far more important than experience intense passion and that my friend MAKES the experience!!!!!!!
the ones who say they wish they had waited probably mean what they say, but once bitten by the bug it's hard to resist being bitten again and again and if they look down on people because they choose to wait it's probably because they know they don't have a chance with them and they react the way they do because deep down they really admire them.
good luck
2006-11-04 08:46:35 · answer #4 · answered by whizbang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi i think it is better to wait i was 22 with my future husband then saying that 10 years later we divorced then i got together with somebody else and we where living together by the second date now we are married with a baby girl of six months and all are other children six all together so what i am saying is when you get older you know your own mind better you are more aware of what you really want in life not what other people want so i would still say wait you will not have any regrets later in life.
2006-11-04 08:54:54 · answer #5 · answered by lisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother was like that, told me to wait and not get involved until after marriage. She sure didn't, she got knocked-up before they where married and I was born 6 mons later. My oldest daughter waited, married the guy and 2 years later was divorced. The other to lived with there spouses and are happily married. And have children
Most men want to try out what they are going to live with the rest of their lives and some women are like that too.
Those that say don't usually are trying to save you from the grief they went through giving up their virginty.
I beleive it is up to you and the way you feel about it, just be careful what you ask for. And how you go about getting it.
2006-11-04 08:41:39 · answer #6 · answered by Angell 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) They are hypocrites because they have learned that it was not a big deal after all and they themselves wished they waited for a more significant time.
2) It is the "hunt" and not the "conquest" that is exciting.
3) Boys will say whatever it takes to get you to bed.
4) You are too obsessive about the whole issue and need to find other interests.
2006-11-04 08:34:36 · answer #7 · answered by waplambadoobatawhopbamboo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The word you are looking or is hypocrisy. The average age in America for a girl's first intercourse is 14. All this 'wait' is from people who go home and crawl in bed with someone.
As Voltaire said, "It is an infantile superstition of the human spirit that virginity would be thought a virtue and not the barrier that separates ignorance from knowledge." Virginity is simply ignorance about sex.
2006-11-04 08:34:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i say it, and i live it. i wear a purity ring, and mostly i do this because it's what i believe. it's really sad how many people don't really wait, they start messing around and they regret it. i don't look down on them, but i feel sorry for the people who regret it. plus, i believe (this is part of my faith, as well) that s** is something to be shared between man and wife, it's the connection: two become one. i know a lot of guys on my campus who are waiting and are wanting a girl who are waiting as well. the way i see it, if you don't mean it, don't say it. it makes the people who say it and mean it look...well, stupid.
2006-11-04 09:03:28 · answer #9 · answered by Tara F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you mind if a heavy smoker tells you that smoking is bad for your health?
I believe you don't
Sex is like smoking. You get addicted to it. You know you have to straighten up but you can't help it. It becomes addiction. So when a person tells you to wait, they are trying to warn you from being addicted to sex. Yet they find it hard to stop doing it.
As far as experience is concerned,people who say that are hoes or manwhores. Because as far as I am considred there is nothing more attracive than learning to have sex with someone you love.
As for me, I have almost 0 experience, and I don't care if she is experienced or not.
After all what is so diificult about humping?
I mean it's not a rocket science or anything.Even animals do it.
2006-11-04 08:35:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋