After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,
and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it
be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual
maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P)
and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
and my favorite:
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
2006-11-04 07:41:35 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Awesome... lol.
As to the question, I don't really know any good pilot jokes... but I always wondered what was the safest way for a co-pilot to inform the pilot that his fly was down, as "Captain, you're flying low" might cause a sudden, emergency altitude adjustment. I asked the question on Y!Answers once and someone suggested: "Captain... the little Cessna is out of the hanger".
2006-11-04 07:53:25 · answer #1 · answered by opifan64 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hahahahahaha
2006-11-04 08:14:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LMFAO thats hilarious. I just flew with the airline company WESTJET, and they are awesome, cause they tell really good jokes. If you want to read some of the jokes go to this link
http://pintday.org/funny/airlinejokes
2006-11-04 08:20:48 · answer #3 · answered by - - 3lizabeth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haha Have A Star *
2016-05-21 23:32:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is great stress relief for a much too serious job
2006-11-04 07:50:23 · answer #5 · answered by jstarmush 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats cute
2006-11-04 07:58:54 · answer #6 · answered by knowssignlanguage 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha
2006-11-04 07:44:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very funny.. to bad for the midget.. =]
2006-11-04 07:46:30 · answer #8 · answered by Lynzie G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very very cute. I don't know where you got these but these are good....
2006-11-04 07:46:20 · answer #9 · answered by whenwhalesfly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very funny!!!!
2006-11-04 07:44:28 · answer #10 · answered by Judy the Wench 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋