please help me im hurt!?

Question

im hurt becuase my parents had a fight and they might get divorsed and im young and they said they are gonna go get new spouses.... & i cant handle that! i would rather die than go throught that! plz help what do i do! im scared for myself becuase i would kill anyone who my parents hooked up with -- i know that mean but i would want to! help me! =[

stay together for me --- im know im being selfish but ...

Answer 1

Would you rather have them divorce or have them stay together for you, even though they hate each other?

Answer 2

Listen sweetie, I know you are very hurt but the problem is recent and in these conditions you can't think straight. In the majority of cases parents that divorce can become the best of friends after being married and do you know why? because of their children. If your parents continue together maybe their relationship will continue to suffer and that means YOU will suffer as well. I know you want your parents together but its not what the children want its what the ground-ups want. If later on in life they do remarry you should accept this and accept the other person in their lives, remember when you become an adult and get married your parents will need someone to give them company, that special person that is going to grow old with them and will be there until God calls them. So think it over, let them fix their own problems, I am very sure that if they stay together because of you -they will not be happy.

Answer 3

It's very understandable that you have these feelings. You want your parents to stay together, and you hate it to see them love someone else. But as has been said before, they had a fight and decided that staying together is not an option. If they would stay together it wouldn't bring back the good times you remember, they may well be a lot worse. Now I am sure you love your parents, and I am also sure they love you as well. They just don't love each other anymore.

Now they will be living apart and you have to choose wether you will stay with your father or your mother. Of course you will see the other parent. And in time they will have new spouses, but hopefully not right away! I'm sorry to say, but you will have to get used to the idea that things will not be the same as it used to be. On the other hand: you don't have to love these new spouses. But it would be good to accept them. Your parents will choose these people because they make them feel comfortable and loved. Would you like to make your parents life miserable? OK, they made your life miserable because they split up, but they did not choose that because they wanted to hurt you, in their eyes there was no other way. Now if you hate, or kill, their new spouses you *will* do something that you know will hurt them (besides getting you in jail ;-)). But remember that you don't have to like them. At all. Just respect them in being the chosen new partner to your mother or father.

I wish you lots of strength in this situation.

Answer 4

My younger cousin went through the same thing so, though I might not have first hand knowledge, I've seen it and I know roughly what its like. Its hard when parents divorce because that's what you're used to seeing- you've grown up with them being together and being a "home". For them to divorce throws off your world as well as theirs. If this was the first fight in which they've said something like that, it might just be an argument and nothing more- something said in the heat of the moment. If this is something they've thought over, there might not be anything you can do about it.
If your parents are truly unhappy together (which I hope is not the case), maybe it would be better for them if they split. It doesn't mean that they would love you any less but, it might just be better off for them in the long run. Although we like to see our parents as a unit and don't ever dream of them separating, in the end its still just one relationship trying to make it work.
No one says you have to feel ok about this and no one says you have to like it but, give it time. Everyone's going to need time to hurt and time to heal in this one but, for right now, don't let their fight get to you unless it becomes something more.

Answer 5

No one can convince you to want to live. I can tell you that I was once thirteen and miserable. I didn't live with my parents because my mom had bipolar disorder and had beaten me so badly that the police got involved and removed me because it was no longer safe for me to live at home. I felt betrayed by life and lonely. I didn't have friends at school. For that matter, I didn't really have friends anywhere. I got lousy grades and felt like my teachers all hated me, so I didn't really figure I had much of a future. I was - and am - sort of an oddball person. The nice way of saying it is that I've always seemed to march to the beat of a different drummer. That wasn't the way that most of the people in my life put it. It wasn't how I felt about it. I was just always confused by why I was so different than everyone around me. So why am I still hanging around? I wish I could tell you it was because I met a good counselor, but I didn't. I do advocate that you talk to your school counselor because you may not be as unlucky as I was. You may meet someone who can advocate for you and keep the bullies at bay and get you whatever other help you need. The truth is, for me, deep down I've always known I was a survivor. Even when I had zero people in my life that I had any reason to believe could care about me, I kept going. Even when I felt I didn't matter and would never matter, I kept going out of spite. Life handed me sh__, but by continuing to live, I was throwing all that sh__ back in the face of everyone who ever made me miserable. I won't lie to you, middle school and high school were the worst times in my life. But it got way better once I went to college. I had to start at an open enrollment (meaning they accept anyone, even kids with GED's like me) university, but I worked hard and eventually got accepted at an Ivy. I have multiple college degrees now, a great paying job, a husband that loves me for who I am, and kids that I don't mistreat. I've traveled the world and have a life that anyone would envy. I don't feel the need to rub it in the faces of everyone who told me I'd be a junkie or pregnant at 14 because it's obvious that I've made my own way in a world with all the odds against me. Maybe that won't be your reason to live, but I bet if you keep looking you'll find something that inspires you. I no longer resent my parents or my upbringing or all of the challenges that growing up in foster care presented me. At the time it was hell, and I think I was right to be miserable. But there's no doubt that it made me the strong, compassionate human being that I am today. At some point, I made my peace with God. That made a huge difference in my life. Thank your Creator for giving you more fear than you can muster resentment for life. Keep on living and make your life a life that's worth living.

Answer 6

You need to slow down. It's your parents decision to make not yours and even though you will be in the middle they are your parents and you have to respect them. It's not the end of the world. If they stay together and hate each other it's worse then being divorced. If either of them find a partner that they love and will be happy with you should be happy for that parent. I know all I ever wanted was for my parents to be happy. I would think you would want your parents to be happy. Don't be selfish. Let them live their lives and be happy.

Answer 7

At first...I thought my parents were gonna divorce too but they cant because they're catholic lol. I dont really get ur question, but you said they siad they want new sprouses? Why would they want that? Everyone parents love thier kids....but I'm guessing I'm assuming the wrong conclusion.

If they always fight...why not yell out "cant u see its tearing me aprat!!!" lol..maybe that'll get their attention or whatever....

They'll do whats best for the family, but I'm sure they're not gonna get a divorce. Just talk to your mom if ur a girl and talk to ur dad if ur a guy (sorry...cant really tell if u a guy or girl). GOOD LUCK!

Answer 8

would you rather have them get divorced and have a chance at happiness or stay together and be unhappy.
You will not like them not being together but you will more than likely get over it eventually. I don't like divorce but I also don't think it is right to stay together just because the kids want you to. sometimes parents getting divorced brings the family closer together. I think you should talk to them about it.

Answer 9

well first ask your self one question do you enjoy it when your parents are fighting and do you like to see them unhappy ? those are too really good questions i know its hard to see parents split up but sometimes it works out better then when they were married in alot of cases the people are much happier and the kids are too your parents will love you know matter what but its hard for them to give you all there love when they are not happy if you need someone more to talk to email me at [e-mail] im sorry to hear that hope it gets better for you

Answer 10

You need to grow up and quit being so selfish. Some marriages end and it's not the end of the world. Let your mom and daddy deal with the situation. They both have the right to pursue happiness.

Answer 11

you know what sweetheart? everything will work out for the best. it is their war to fight, not yours. i went through the same thing you did and i completely understand how you feel. i thought i was gonna die the day my mom told me she was getting married again (which also was the same day she told me she's getting divorced from my dad). they will both love you all the same, so don't try to make it harder on yourself and them, cuz it already is hard enough.