i'm a new college freshman juggling 18 hours of coursework at college, and i have to study just about every waking minute. and then i come home for the weekend, and i don't feel like doing anything. but my mom just assumes that i'm out at school everyday lying around drinking and eating and being eaten, and it couldn't be further from the truth. i probably watch about 20 minutes of TV everyday and that's just in the morning waiting for the weather report. anyway, so when i come home, she's always telling me to clean, to wash the dishes, to do yardwork. i have papers to write, huge exams to study for, and not enough time in the world for everything i have to do. how can i make her understand?
2006-11-04 07:19:36 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
sounds like a challenge for sure!
It sounds like you work hard, but your mom expects you to help out the same as well.
First of all, I think you are carrying too much coursework for your first year. You can always cut back to 12 hours or something. You do not need to overdo it that much, what are you in the hurry for? Next time, classes are scheduled, cut down a bit and take some funner classes. Life doesn't have to be that hard!
Second of all, either you need to realize that you have to help out and do what your mom wants since you live under her roof, or you're going to have to go get your own place, seriously! Parents still put their rules on their kids as long as they're in the house. I doubt it's an option for you to move somewhere else, right?
I would talk to my mom when she isn't mad, isn't waiting for you to do something, or frazzled, or you frazzled either. Sit down and have a good heart-to-heart. Tell her you're overwhelmed and need some relaxation time. Go over what she expect of you. You cannot expect to do nothing at all. Maybe she'll give you Sundays free to yourself. Maybe you can discuss cutting back on classes a bit, or getting other family members to help out more, etc. If it doesn't work out, tell you're going to have to move out. Life is hard. I had full-time college, I was a single mom, I worked full-time and I lived out on my own. So it can be done! Maybe you needed a few months off from school as a refresher, too?
Good luck whatever happens!
2006-11-04 07:28:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just be honest with her and tell her that you are taking time and a half of course work and that you just need to take a break from things. Tell her that you are exhausted from being at school and all of the homework that comes along with it.
I am wondering why you are taking so many courses as a freshman? The most I ever took was 14 hours a semester and worked full time 50+ hours a week, while balancing my marriage. I was also much further along with my edu. then you currently are. You may want to think about possibly cutting back a course or 2 next semester.
2006-11-04 15:25:05 · answer #2 · answered by cyncase007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show your mom your work. Show her the work you are assigned and the work that you have done. Then show her what you have left to do and when it is due. Approch this like your asking her for her suggestions. If you do this right she will see that you have done a lot of work. Don't do it in an angry way she will just be turned off. Realize that you should help if your living there somtimes, but she shouldnt expect you to do everything. You might also check and see if you don't sometimes spend time visiting or chatting or talking with friends durring the week, those kinds of times can add up. Good luck!
2006-11-04 15:31:06 · answer #3 · answered by Jim V 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask her to talk to your professors. If she talks to professionals who know your student history, she may be persuaded to believe your side of the story. Or maybe bring a friend over and have them talking about all the work they have too, and agree with them. Ask for your mom's opinion on a report you may have to do. She's probably just upset that you aren't spending a whole bunch of time with her, so this is her "revenge". Hope this helps :)
2006-11-04 15:39:08 · answer #4 · answered by bekki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why bother coming home,maybe she will really understand that you need a break,an as long as you offer to help clean up,do some chores,like dishes your own laundry,that's not asking to much,and it doesn't take that long then you have to tell her you need to get some of your own things done.Or you won"t come home for awhile.
2006-11-04 20:12:12 · answer #5 · answered by Lw's Lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Video tape your days. proof that you're not just screwing around. but you can't make people believe what they don't want to, so you may have to get down right mean to make her back off. if she's ever been to college she'll come to understand.
2006-11-04 15:24:16 · answer #6 · answered by Mistro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop coming home for the weekends.
2006-11-04 15:34:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you told her everything you have told us? Maybe she should follow you around for a week just to see what you actually do. Just a suggestion.
2006-11-04 15:51:01 · answer #8 · answered by Sexy-n-Hot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show her how much college's assignments you need to do.she need to help you with the duties home.Good luck.
2006-11-04 15:54:46 · answer #9 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats tough. I would probably just have to either make shorter visits or just not go at all.
2006-11-04 15:23:35 · answer #10 · answered by Mayonaise 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋