I swear, she goes into my room, snoops through my stuff, and LOOKS for things to complain about. I don't think I'm that bad at all, and sure, I'm not the cleanest person in the world. My room doesn't look like a picture from "Better Homes and Gardens" but it doesn't look like a tornado hit it, either. She makes me feel terrible and guilty and self-doubting. I wish I could move out, but the only way I could do that is to be homeless. she calls me fat all the time, (and she is fat, too) what do i do?
2006-11-04 06:53:57 · 20 answers · asked by Yvette S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
be patient. it won't be like this forever. good luck
2006-11-04 06:59:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
moms just love their kids and we care. trust me i have been through it all and am stuck in between right now. I am only 25 and the youngest daughter in my family and my mom is always yelling at me and I dont even live with her. some of the things that she says hurt me and i tell her but most of the time it is true and it just helps me to try to be a little bit better as a daughter, on the other hand I have a six year old daughter whom I had at eighteen years old and man being on the other end as a mother I see a whole different world. I reprimand my daughter a lot but only because I love her so so much and would never want to see her get hurt. As a mother I feel bad sometimes because I want her to be happy and have her freedom. did you ever hear that song "cruel to be kind"? One time my daughter was talking about how ugly another kid at school was because they had glasses on and they were a little bit larger than most kids their age. also I am currently 9 months pregnant and when I was getting dressed she walked in on me and said eww you look disgusting. I was so hurt so in order to teach her a lesson on how it is not nice to make fun of people if they dont meet your standards I told her she was ugly. now i love my daughter and I know that that hurt her but I explained to her that she was not ugly in the way that she was calling that other child but that if you are not beautiful on the inside, meaning having a heart and treating others the way you want to be treated, than you are indeed ugly on the ouside. I believe I got the point across because she apologized after ward. but believe me your mom love you I am positive or else she wouldnt nag so much. it just shows that she cares
2006-11-04 16:30:43 · answer #2 · answered by mamamia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try using reverse psychology. if she is looking for a reason to yell at you or snoop around your stuff, dont give her a reason to feel like she has to.
you say your room isnt too bad, but maybe if you pick it up a lil bit better, she would appreciate your effort.
talk to her more often about you and your out-of-the-house life like with friends and school. if you open up to her and communicate with her more often, she would feel that you could tell her anything and that way she wont have to look or snoop around to find the real you or anything you arent telling her.
regarding the "fat" issue: you should plan weekend activities with your mom that involve some kind of physical fitness like walking around the park or lake, etc. but since its getting near winter, suggest doing some kind of aerobics in the house. if you do it together, it will be more fun and no one will feel like they have do it on their own. motivate each other for the best.
if none of the above works out, then i suggest plain out talking to your mom about how she is making you feel and how it is effecting you mentally.
goodluck. best wishes.
2006-11-04 15:29:30 · answer #3 · answered by bjperez07 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Mother is probably stressed out and is using you as a punchbag. Name calling is worse than physical violence so I would never encourage it. Try and put yourself in her frame of thought and see if you can understand whats bothering her. If you are continuing to do things that enrage her like not cleaning your room then stop because your not being fair . you admit you are not the tidest person in the world but you are not dealing with the issue by not doing anything about it. you know it annoys her so dont do it. if somone kept pinching you on the arm and you asked them to stop and they did.nt stop how would feel.
2006-11-04 15:31:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's not going to be the adult, then you be. When she's yelling, you talk in a normal voice. Don't be sarcastic. Don't make faces. Address her complaints as if they are important. Ask her for advice. If she says cruel things, tell her she is hurting you. When she brings up a problem, write it down and consider all possible solutions. When you think you have one, ask her what she thinks about it. Above all, stay calm and think!
P.S. Once I was trying to get my daughter to each spinach. She looked me in the eye and said, "But Daddy, it doesn't taste good." I considered that for a minute and then said, "You're right." And I haven't eaten spinach since.
2006-11-04 15:15:11 · answer #5 · answered by John Lynn 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I promise all moms are like this ,in fact by pasing through ages I realized no mother could be her kids enemy .so that is just all about being a mother and maybe she just wants you not to be fat like her or do things that make ppl call u a messy person ..dont worry things will be ok...best wishes
2006-11-04 15:17:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you must think if your mother is telling you something that it is good for you but her way is bad.If that happens take her advice (because a mother always wants the best for her children but she may not have the best way to express it).
If you think that there is no kind of good advice in what she tells you, then you must learn not to let the things that she is telling you to affect you (make you mad or sad).Just ignore her.i know that this is not easy to do but you will have to learn to do it in order not to be unhappy
2006-11-04 15:24:29 · answer #7 · answered by girl24gr 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she's hurting you when she yells at you all the time. See if you can do more stuff around the house or maybe find a part time job to get out of the house more.
2006-11-04 15:01:30 · answer #8 · answered by Sharpie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to stand up for yourself!
tell her she makes you feel bad and you dont want that. you want motivation and a loving mother that doesnt give you a hard time all the time. or else she will just keep pushing you around, thinking you are okay with it. yes, she is your mom but you have your rights and the way she treats you is going one step too far.
2006-11-04 15:51:58 · answer #9 · answered by jumanjifaceee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to John Lynn.
2006-11-04 15:46:24 · answer #10 · answered by Bond girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not giving her any reason to do this then maybe she's going through menopause...my mom was crazy when she went through it....ha your story reminds me of my life at 17 how funny....no really it gets better hang in there
2006-11-04 15:33:33 · answer #11 · answered by graciegirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋