HELP = i really need your help?

Question

If someone asked you never to contact them again would you?
That is the last thing that my ex said to me three months ago when he dumped me by email, i miss him so much and just would like to say hello, how are you?
I am having trouble getting over him and i really dont know if it would help me to contact him to help me to get him out of my system.
The trouble is that i am still in love with him and i really dont know what to do for the best.
I have done what he has asked so far but i am finding it harder and harder.
What do you think?
By the way i would like to add that we are both in our thirties.
Many thanks in advance for your answers and hopefully you will be able to help me make the right desision

A week later after he had dumped me i found out by a same friend that we share that he has gone back to his ex

Answer 1

if you really can't get over him, then i guess you'll have to learn the hard way and hear it cold from him. call him and hear his rejection and that should make you get over him. if it doesn't work the first time, keep dfoing that until you are over him and have moved on.

Answer 2

Oh this is painful!, Is it worth going back just to be hurt by what he will say to you? He's gone back to his ex, the sad thing is, he did it in a week?!?!?! Gosh I would honestly say, he might had reconnected with his ex before you guys broke up, not meaning he cheated on you but had somehow kept contact? and he just didn't have the courage to tell you he didn't want to be with you so he dropped it through email?! That's not a very good way to break off a relationship! Also if you keep concentrating on holding on to something that has already gone it will make things and life for you a lot harder and to move on would be more of a challenge. You can move on and it won't matter if he comes running back or not, you will know what to do. The important thing is as long as you are enjoying yourself and life and you didn't waste it wondering about him. What I'm saying is that there so much out there for you that holding on to the past and your ex will prevent you from seeing what life has to offer you. Good Luck, I hope things will look better for you :)

Answer 3

I wouldn't.
but....
If you really have to ..you have to do exactly what I say.
First. Do not contact him in any ways or forms for 10 weeks, then call him and ask him to lunch, tell him you just want to catch up. When you call him, try to sound as upbeat as you can. On your lunch with him, act happy and tell him all the exciting things you have been doing since he left, and (this is very important) do not mention anything about the break up or why you guys broke up in the first place. Your job is to give him the most pleasant experience he ever had with you. After the lunch (which should last no more than 2 hours), tell him "it was very nice seeing you , we should hang out sometimes." From this point on, you can call him maybe once or twice a week. If he doesn't call you himself by the third time, you have to forget about him.

Answer 4

He sounds like a jerk and it seemed like he got over you real quick. I think it would be best for you to move on and try to forget about him, he's not worth your time. You deserve so much better, I suggest going out meeting new people to help you get over him. I think that if you do contact again, after him asking you not too(obviously he wants nothing to do with you--he doesn't know what he's missing) it would just cause your feelings for him to deepen more than they already are. Hopefully the saying that distance makes the heart grow fonder isn't true. God bless you and good luck.

Answer 5

i'll type this in big letters! DO NOT CONTACT THAT MAN. i cant stress enough how much it wont help you. he has the cheek to call himself a man when a real man wouldv'e shown more respect for you by dumping you to your face and not by email, i mean, just how cold is that? let his ex have him and he'll be doing his own head in wondering why you havnt got in touch to declare undying love, if you need to email him, send him crap. if you wanna get it out your system, a good trick i use is to write a really long letter detailing why i'm upset and every fault he had, if you cant think of faults cos your so wrapped up in him, rope your friends in, i'm sure they'll think of some, then burn the letter. you should feel better knowing your worth more than someone who can do such a cold thing to someone he presumably was close to. good luck.

Answer 6

Write him a letter and tell him exactly how you feel, tell him that you still love him greatly. He may want to get back with you, but i very seriously doubt that happens. He may be regretting tellin you to never contact him again. I suggest writing the letter and hold on to it for a couple of days. Then if you still think it is right then send it to him. Dont expect a reply, but if you would like leave him your phone number and tell him that you would like to talk to him. But im telling you do not expect a reply of anykind. Let him know that you want to talk to him and give him the chance to call you, or what ever. He has probably moved on, but there is still a chance that he still has feelings for you. If you dont do something you will always wonder what would have happened if i did do something. Now you will know, but just dont hurt yourself by expecting a responce from him. Dont expect anything from him. Just expect that he will know how you feel, and then move on.

Answer 7

I do not think I would call him or contact him myself. I find when something is bothering me I write a letter and just never send it. It makes me feel a bit better and gives me time to think more about it so I do not do something out of impulse. The more you go back and read it, then it makes you realize it is just silly. That helps me to move on when I feel the need to say something and really do not want to feel the hurt again and again. Try it, it doesn't hurt to try and no one can hurt you you this way either. Move on and something better will come into your life, just try to relax and when you least expect it, something good will happen.

Answer 8

you need,you have,you must to forget about him.If he say is over,for sure he has somebody else.Time is the best healer in Love's matters.Now you think is too hard to forget about him,but after time is going,you will be okay.This situation happen to thousands of men and women around the world.Remember: it is not the end of the world.God already have a new man for you,who really will love you indeed.Be strong,this hard time is going to pass, sooner as you even think.This is not the only man in planet earth.There are thousands of men.stop to crying for him.If he dumped you,he does not deserve your tears.God love you more than anything,and God knows how you are feeling right now.so,do not cry for somebody who does not deserve it.Good luck.Please smile,be happy,God bless you every day and protect you from people like that bad man.

Answer 9

Hi. If he dumped you by email is he really worth your time and effort? You need to get over him. I know you probably know that. Just get out and meet someone new, I know it may seem hard but that's the answer to your question. If he dumped you so unceremoniously then you really shouldn't waste any time on you, harsh as it may sound, he doesn't care about you anymore- so stop caring about him and start caring about YOURSELF and making yourself happy! :-) I hope this helps you. Good luck, and I am sure you deserve much better than him. I know its a cliché but sometimes it really is true. Men like him aren't worth the time and effort.

Answer 10

I say you should respect his wishes. Once, I told an ex not to contact me again, then he harrassed me, my friends, and my family for months afterwards. I couldnt get over him and the failed relationship until he left me alone. Personally, I dont think contacting him will help you "get him out of (your) system." I think it will make it worse on you.
My vote is- leave him alone. I'm sorry for your heartache. But I'm sure you will find someone worth your time soon! :)

Answer 11

First of all,I know you think you love him but you can not love someone who doesnt love you back.Thats not love.So with that out of the way,please dont not call him.You will only be setting yourself up to be more hurt and humiliated.As hard as it is,you must move forward.Good luck-Mr. Right is out there somewhere.