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Re- my boyfriend and his extracurricular relationships and inappropriate conduct. we were on our way out to dinner last night..thought we had this straighten ed out. He had a mesg on his phone. Said it was so-so and she and so-so were jst hangin out and drinking a glass of wine and thinking about him...yuk...I asked him if he was gonna call them back and tell em he was having dinner with me and our daughter and this led to a fight. He turned around and dropped me off at home, saying I'm trying to control him..yuk...THEN...he ended up going over there, having wine and staying the night. I was concerned he'd drive home with our daughter intoxicated and offered to pick her up. He slept over there. one girl is a friend of 15 yrs or so, didn't even know about me til 2 mnths b4 the birth of our child. The other is a girl I haven't met but always seems to want to cry on his shoulder when she breaks up with a guy.does she even know about me? What does he tell them about us?What do I do 2day?

2006-11-04 06:24:43 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

13 answers

Dump him. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, and it sounds like the only lessons your daughter will ever learn from him are ones that involve women being treated without respect. You sound like a smart, intelligent woman, and in your heart you know how you should and shouldn't be treated.
Some men think that they should be allowed to just hang out with whomever they want and they have no obligation to consider other people's feelings. They don't change like Cinderella and turn into princes one day, so now is the time to start figuring out what your other options are. There is technique that I think would help, and that's to just imagine if he wasn't there at all. So if he didn't exist, you wouldn't be wasting your time freaking about about the calls... what would you be doing? Would you be looking for a new job, or painting your daughter's room, or teaching her to sing. If you were all alone, what would you do? Think of him as a non-entity - he just doesn't exist anymore and it's just you and your daughter. Does life seem easier or harder?

Anyway, I've never heard of any relationship that worked out when it had the features you're talking about.

2006-11-04 06:31:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

This book will save you years, perhaps decades of anguish. I wasted 8 years before reading it...and what a waste of time!!! I wish I had the info in this book from age 15. All girls should read this book to get a clear picture about their boundaries and exactly the kinds of problems that you described.

A quick answer is not available for such a complex problem and something as life changing and profound as your relationship that your described. Give yourself and your daughter a better life by getting and reading this book now. Good luck!!

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2006-11-04 14:32:27 · answer #2 · answered by branchcaptain 3 · 0 0

Well, in general you should always talk first. Though your guy might not deserve that. It's fine to be single and have female Friends cry on your shoulder, but it get a bit weird if the guy is in a couple. He should know better.

She very like does not know about you, or does not even care. He comes when she calls, that is all she cares about. He might have mentioned 'some girl' to her, but she was not paying attention.

You could try the 'dump her or me'...though he won't take that in a good way. The best you can do is just leave him.

2006-11-04 14:29:57 · answer #3 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 1 0

Dump him. No need for words. I feel bad for your daughter. You need to be a single mom until you're done raising her. Her father needs to stay in her life, but you and her father are not mature enough for a committed relationship yet (should've thought about that before you climbed into bed with him). Stay away from the dad as much as possible while still co-parenting your daughter. And don't bring any other guys around your daughter. She should be your first priority.

2006-11-04 14:32:03 · answer #4 · answered by tamster 2 · 1 0

Tell him that if he is committed then he stays with you and limits his involvement with other women to when he is in your company.

Otherwise, arrange for custody sharing and child support and be civil to one another and do not maintain a romantic relationship with him.

Since you have a child together, you both need to step up and act like adults and put her needs first.

2006-11-04 14:28:58 · answer #5 · answered by anirbas 4 · 2 0

He probably gives the old "my girlfriend doesn't understand me, ignores me, doesn't love me story" He doesn't seem to have any intentions of being faithful to you. There is a playground awaiting him, and he wants to play. Kick him to the curb...you have a daughter who may or not be able to realize how women are to be treated. She needs you. He can replace you, but your little one can't.

2006-11-04 14:31:33 · answer #6 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 1 0

the fight you had with him was not because of the question you asked him, but because he really wanted to go over there and be with them!!!, also i would say the one you haven't met is the one he is seeing, sounds like he is cheating

2006-11-04 14:34:02 · answer #7 · answered by connie m 3 · 0 0

OH THIS IS JUST GREAT,,bay's having baby's
get that boyfreind of urs or should i say alley cat,,,nueterd

2006-11-04 14:28:33 · answer #8 · answered by native,pride 5 · 0 0

Damn - He's right. Just because you were less than responsible with having protected sex with him doesn't mean you now own him. NO RING means still free, just with child support requirements.

2006-11-04 14:26:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 2

Dump him! But remember your kid comes first.

2006-11-04 14:27:46 · answer #10 · answered by Steph :-) 3 · 3 0

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