as maid of honer what do i pay for?

Question

I'm best friends maid of honer, and I know I pay for my dress and the bachorette party and I'm going halfies with her mom on her bridal shower, plus my daughter is her flower girl which i have to buy her dress. Right there is at least $500. Now she told me as maid of honer I have to buy all the favors and what she wants is another $500. She's alot well off then I am, I'm in college and have 2 kids, is it right for her to tell me I have to pay for the favors too? Plus I'm planning my own wedding for 2008. I don't mind the $500 but $1000 isn't that alot to ask for?

I saw someone asked how many people she wants, she's plans on having 200 people, not including the wedding party.

Answer 1

The maid of honor is responsible for:

- your own clothing
- a shower/wedding gift
- a bachelorette party or a shower

That's it. You are NOT responsible for providing favors or any other part of the wedding expenses. Favors have NEVER been the maid of honors responsiblity in the past, and are not your responsibility now. The wedding favor is supposed to be a thank-you token gift fromthe wedding couple and is the responsibility of the couple themselves, or the person hosting the reception.

Answer 2

Well, when I was a Maid of Honor, I paid for my own dress. But, according to etiquette, the bride should give the bridesmaids some sort of a gift for a) being in the wedding and b) paying for the dress. My cousin (who was the bride) didn't give the bridesmaid anything! And the dresses weren't cheap!!

Honestly, I think that is a litle cheap for the bride to make you pay for all of the flower girl's dress. If a were the bride in this situation, I would AT LEAST split it 50/50 (since you are already paying for a dress).

As for the party favors, heck no! That is not your resonsibility! That is the bride and groom's! You need to draw the line with the bride and say sorry, but no. Especially when you have a lot of finances in your own life and an upcoming wedding. Or, you can put HER on the spot and say, "Will you be paying for MY party favors for MY wedding??" Lol...

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 3

NO YOU DO NOT BUY THE FAVORS!

Unfortunately, however, you should probably expect to pay more than $500...
"There's more financial responsibility to being a bridesmaid than buying that dress you'll likely only wear once. These days being in a wedding party often means a destination bachelor or bachelorette party, contributing time and money to the bridal shower, having your hair professionally done, travel to the wedding and hotel accommodations. And, don't forget the gifts.

The average cost for a groomsman is $700 and for a bridesmaid it reaches $1,400, according to Kathleen Murray, a weddings editor at theknot.com."

Answer 4

You pay for your dress and stuff.
The SHOWER is a must but you can keep it low key and have it in someones house. You also split it with the other girls.
The Bachorette party is also split with the other girls... I would arrange something that won't cost you a fortune and call around... some bars and places give free drinks to the bride.

The Favors?? First off you don't pay for that and second off why the HELL you give her actually money. I would personal tell her your making them and tell her something HORRIBLE... like your taking old beer cans and filling them up with mints. Your freind is being very rude.... And favors are normally $1 to $2 per person so how many freaken guest is she having. I would tell her the maid of honor does NOT pay for the favors.... and you don't understand where she got that idea from.

Answer 5

1st let me tell you...my maid of honor didn't pay for anything but her dress and acceessories and getting her hair done. you should pay for your dress, your daughter's dress and have others pitch in for the bach. party. we had a co-ed party bus and we collected $25 from each person to pay for the bus. people will bring alcohol anyway, so that makes things easier for drinks. you can also ask eeveryone attending to bring a bottle of their favorite whatever. you should get this book about maid of honor etiquett. also, don't listen ther her about this buying favors and what not...she or her parents are supposed to do that. i made all of my favors and place cards on my own and spent $100-200. I made paper cranes and other origami pieces. I bought chinese foor take out boxes and put cookies inside then tied a ribbon around them and there I had nice cheap favors. good luck and if she says buy this buy that, you tell her, that you're not trying to be mean, but you don't have that kind of money and she should ask someone else that can afford it. she should be thankful that you're helping at all. she being bossy, remind her she's the bride, not your boss. good luck

Answer 6

LOL, she's trying to pull something over on you. The bride and her family are responsible for the favors. You are responsible for the clothes you wear, and the bachlorette party. Actually you are not responsible for the shower, the other bridesmaids should be doing that, and her mother certainly shouldn't be involved at all.

My daughter got married in June this year. I paid for the wedding, her dress and accessories, the music, the afficiant, the reception(including all food, cake and open full bar), the flowers, and the photographer, the invitations and the favors. I paid for the van to haul everything around, the room she and the bridesmaid dressed in, and where she and her new husband spent their first night. I provided champagne for the bridesmaids and for the new couple. This ran about 17,000 which her father paid 4000 of.

She and her now husband paid for his tux, his daughters dress, their rings, a necklace for his daughter, their cake topper and serving pieces, the unity candles, the grandmothers memorial pictures, postage, her shoes and I think the shoes of one of the bridesmaides who just couldn't afford it. Her dresses btw ran about $100, shoes were $30 and she bought all the bridesmaides jewelry. They also paid for all the wedding party's gifts, and gifts for the parents, pocket watches for the dad's, lovely jewelry boxes for the mom's. They also paid for their honeymoon.

The grooms family paid for the rehersal dinner.

No where were any of the wedding party expected to pitch in and pay for anything at the wedding, we were honored that they made themselves available to stand up with them on their wedding day.

Answer 7

Hmm, I was the MOH for my friends wedding, all I paid for was my dress, half to have my hair done, then I bought a gift for the bride. (Besides the gift for the couple). I didn't realize you had to pay for the bachlorette party and shower.

Answer 8

You should refer to an ettiquette book. It spells out who is responsible for what. You get your dress and shoes. I don't think you should spring for the shower and it's in bad taste for a member of her family to host it. She is supposed to get you a gift and she picks up the other wedding related expenses. The flower girl outfit would be on you since it's your daughter. Some friend, if you ask me.

Answer 9

you don't pay for favors! why would you have to? i think you have done enough. explain that you are having a hard enough time paying for the dresses and you just can't pay anymore money

Answer 10

You do not pay for the favors.

You pay for your dress and your daughter's dress. (If she has picked really pricey ones then she can chip in)

The guests at the bachelorette party chip in and treat the bride. (Discuss this in advance with the other guests)

You pay for your expenses (shoes, hair, transportation)

Shower is optional but nice.