I need some advice.?

Question

I am 27 yrs old and I have 4 beautiful childeren. The idea of having another child right now to be honest scares me a little, but i cant say that it is totally out of the question. The problem is that I made the appointment to have my tubes tied, its in 17 days, but the closer that i get to it the more i wonder if i am doing the right thing. When I had made the decision things werent going to good for us financially but now we are doing allright also another deciding factor was that my youngest was born premature and he had developmental problems that took up alot of time dealling with, doctors appointments and all, but he's getting through really well and developing alot better. I was told that i could have the procedure reversed, but would it be worth going through it at all. I cant use birthcontrol i had my second while on the pill, and i am afraid that condoms will break, they already have a few times. any advice would be great thx.

Answer 1

two words for you: MIRENA IUD

Its MORE effective than having your tubes tied! Tubal ligation= 0.5% failure rate. Mirena= 0.1% failure rate

Tubal ligation, permanent, or you have to have ANOTHER surgery to get it reversed.
Mirena, reversible in a quick in-office procedure

Mirena: the safest and most effective form of birth control on the market. no worries about human error like with condoms or the pill. Mirena is VERY safe. Old IUDs had some problems, but Mirena is even less risky than taking the pill.

Mirena lasts for 5 years. you can get a new one put in right after getting your old one taken out. Or, you can get it removed at ANY TIME, and your fertility will be normal again IMMEDIATELY. Plus, its much cheaper than tubal ligation, and doesnt have the stigma of being permanet, but has the peace of mind of being even more effective than your scary surgery.

I have one, I LOVE IT. For many women, after a year, it shortens, lightens, sometimes even stops, your periods. The only side effect is typically cramping and irregular bleeding right after you get it put in. Of course, a doctor would MUCH rather you spend a bunch of money on getting your tubes tied, than give you something quick and inexpensive like a Mirena. also, It DOES NOT abort your babies. It releases miniscule ammounts of hormones to keep you from ovulating, thickens your cervix so sperm cant get in, and thins your uterine lining. Do some research, and insist on talking with your doctor about this option first

Oh, and I dont recommend Depo. 6 out of 7 of my friends who were on depo gained significant weight, and they all used to be petite women. Also, one of my friends has a set of twins AND a set of triplets conceived on depo. Yes, thats 5 babies under the age of three. Yikes.

If, for some reason, you are not a canditate for getting the Mirena, why not have your hubby get a vasectomy? Its actually slightly more effective than tubal ligation. But I also think that sterilization at a young age is risky. I mean, GOD FORBID, but WHAT IF you guys get divorced, and you marry another man and want to have a child with him? I know your probably really sure that it will never happen, but who knows? Plus, God forbid again, but what if your hubby dies, and you want to remarry and have a child with that person? you may not think you would want that, but its impossible to know until it actually happens to you. Good luck! The fact that you are questioning your decision would be a big red flashing light to me. If you question it this much now, you may be REALLY regretting it later.

Answer 2

Well first remember that when a man has a vasectomy its is an out patient procedure and gets to go home after. When a woman has her tubes tied there is a 2-week hospital stay that comes along with it. Being that you already have 4 children can you really take 2-weeks away from home?
Another thing to consider is that while the procedure can't be reversed you can still have invetro done so you can still have another child if you choose. Also if you guys decide to change who has the procedure done you can freeze your husbands sperm or your eggs should you decide later to try again.
Really no one can answer this question for you because no one can predict the future. If you are still wanting more children I would wait. Plus condoms are really safe. Most often condoms will break due to expiration dates, not being properly put on, or being to small (or big) of a size. If you are worried about a condom breaking tell your obgyn and he/she can teach you how to use one correctly so that the chances of one breaking are minimal.
I wish you the best of luck because I have thought about this topic before (i am allergic to spermicide and have grown a tolerance to birth control) and have come to the conclusion that even though I have 3 kids I am only 23 and have a long time left. In 10 or 15 years I may want another baby so I am not ready to do the procedure.

Answer 3

This is something you really need to sit down and discuss with your other half. Four children is a lot to handle already. Between my b/f and I we have two and I go crazy sometimes with that! I would speak to him as well as speak to your doctor, ask him/her what the chances are of having a repeat of the last birth. Personally, if I were you, I would be happy with the four already here. You can focus more time and energy on them, the extra money you have can be used for them and their future needs. If I was able to have my tubes tied, I would just for the fact that we are completely happy with the two we have, even if they are "his and hers". Again, my advice, speak to your other have, in the end, having another child is the decision you BOTH have to make, not just one of you. Good luck.

Answer 4

Why not make your husband/boyfriend? get a vasectomy? That's what we're doing after my next baby is born (#4). I feel that women have to go through so much to have the babies. Why should they have to have this other procedure done when it is so easy for the guy and it's also reversible. I also think that if you're not totally sure, then don't do it b/c it is surgery and to get it undone is another surgery. Not worth it for the pain and the money if you are not sure!!!

Answer 5

I am sure that you are doing the right thing. Four kids is a lot and I think 5 is too much. Nowadays with the cost of education going up and etc, 4 is hard enough to provide for. I would be happy and content with your four and be confident in your decision not to have anymore. You are doing the right thing. Trust your instincts. Good luck.

Answer 6

I think that if you are reconsidering the procedure then you are not really ready to quit having children. I would have to say don't have the procedure done until you and your partner have sat sown and really talked through everything completely. If you think that you may want more kids, but not really sure. And you get the procedure done you will regret not having another one for the rest of your life.

Answer 7

Have you tried the IUD or the depo shot? Or are you one of those women that cant use those options? what does your husband think? I think that it is normal to have those feelings. But, you should really be 100% sure before you get it done. Yes, it can be reversed, but this is a big decision that you and your husband should both agree on. Good luck!!!

Answer 8

so the pill is out of the question, so how about the ring or anything else. i think u should ask your dr. about other birth controll available to u and then see if u want to get your tubes tide. i know there is one called the marina it's birth controll and i believe it's for 5 - 10 years. check with your dr. first. good luck =)

Answer 9

personally at your age i wouldn't because you still have many more years at a chance of child bearing. you are only 27 and you don't want to regret it in case you change your mind.

Answer 10

You're pretty young to close that door. I'm 32, have three kids, and am thinking about maybe one more