I've hit rock bottom...?

Question

I've always been depression prone and have only had one serious case a year and a half ago but it hit me again now.
My story: I am a really smart 16 year old kid w/ 3 AP's w/ A's and B's in them. But I'm extremely pessimistic, introvert; its really wierd though because I talk to a lot of people and am always going out, not the usual AP kid. Well, my whole life I've had to live with having no self-confidence. And it doesn't help that I've never had a boyfriend (but at the same time don't want one either). So it helps, a lot, when there is any attention on me or given to me because its like a huge self-esteem booster.
Well, last week, I went to a party, and there was this guy who I've had a crush for more than a year and we danced and hung out together. However, yesterday I found out that he thinks my best friend is super hot. Now, I don't like a lot of guys, but this hit my self-confidence so hard that its below zero right now, as if whatever attention he gave me that day ..(cont.)

(cont.) was a waste. Since I got home from school yesterday, I've been in bed, I've had the big biggest headache, and have literally been either crying/sleeping. All my insecurities have come out, and now I feel worthless. I need help. What should I do? (I can't tell my parents any of this)

Answer 1

Don't get depressed too much. Just go out and have fun. There are a lot of hunks waiting for you.

Answer 2

I'm a guy, but I went through exactly that in high school. However, I'm in my 20's and still screwed up because I made some very stupid decisions and blew a lot of opportunities.

First: you're under a lot of stress taking three AP's, and if one of them is either Calc (though unlikely) or Chem, you're REALLY under a lot of stress. Remember that you're taking college level coursework, even if it's a semester-long class being stretched out over the course of a school year. You need an outlet for this stress, and it's clear to me that you don't have one.

Is there a close friend that you can confide in? Don't be ashamed if you don't have that. I didn't. It's one thing to have people you can hang out with and another to have people you can trust. What are you friends like? Do they share your same traits? They say opposites attract for a reason. A cheery, socially outgoing, talkative person can balance out the negative aspects of your personality and open up your outlook on life. Don't feel like you only have to be friends with the smart kids.

Secondly, you're going to learn in life that you people you end up with are the ones you least expect. I've set my hopes up for certain people only to be let down painfully. It's hard, because you build up this perfect life replete with these people you find perfect for you and when reality sets in, it's completely different from what you expected. Never give up when you fall down! EVER!

There maybe a hormonal reason for your behavior. See a school counselor/psychologist for this problem too. Don't feel ashamed or embarrassed. Just know that your problems can be corrected. Your mind is tricking you into believing that you're something less than you are because of all the stress and discipline you've imposed on yourself.

Self-confidence can run in cycles. You may be going through a down period now, but be prepared next time for these feelings of depression after they pass. Also write down your problems. Not necessarily in a diary, but something more like a journal. Putting your problems down on paper can not only be cathartic, but they can help you conduct a self-analysis.

Figure out who you are and what you want out of life. That's the hard part, but once you do, stuff like this will rarely happen again.

Answer 3

Hi Rika. I am also really smart, introvert, pessimistic, low self confidence, no boyfriend. I went through the same thing when I was your age. The guy I liked used to like my friend.
After many years of being introvert, pessim.......etc I developed clinical depression. And now I am on meds and shrink therapy.
My dear Rika, you have to work in your self confidence, as you said you are a really smart kid and I am sure that you are pretty too. As you said you don´t want a boyfriend either so you should not cry for anyone. Things in life happen for a reason so let go. A shrink will be useful because you can work in strenghening yourself and not having to take meds later on (like me). POSITIVE THINKING is the key. We create our own reality. Thoughts are energy and energy turns into reality. If you see yourself as a outgoing, optimistic, beautiful kid you will be one. Good luck. And you can reach me to [e-mail] anytime.

Answer 4

If you can't tell your parents then you may have a lot of difficulty helping yourself. If you've hit rock bottom, then you will have no motivation to help yourself, or do anything. So...you have to enlist the help and care of people who CAN do something about it. You NEED to tell your parents that you're depressed and get some professional help. What are your other alternatives? You can't just "buck up" if you're depressed. There's a difference between that and just having a bad month.

Answer 5

right now there is no easy answer for you., but don't give up on yourself. you have a purpose in life, there is a reason for you here. i to have felt pain so intensely, i had hit rock bottom, i felt and BELIEVED that there was no hope. one day i went outside and found a place where i could be alone, nobody was around, and i looked up to the sky, and asked why. why am i so alone, and i just started asking questions, and i didn't leave until i couldn;t cry no more. the rest of the day just passed by. but things were changing for me without me knowning it, there's a reason that you are going thourgh this, let god help you,

Answer 6

Ah, come on dear, the guy just wants your girlfriend. All this mating stuff hurts, no matter who you are. You're only 16 and you've got all the problems associated with adulthood. Get ready, everyone is really vicious about their mates, love, jealousy and private lives. Women aren't the only victims(if there is such a thing anymore) to all the setting up, cutting down, screwing around that we call human behavior. Okay, excuse my bluntness,please. But basically, you're not the only one!

Answer 7

well my dear you are not worthless.you have a headach from crying so much.There's plenty of other guys out there,he just was not the right one for you.If you get really depressed often you really do need to see a Dr.I am on Lexapro once a day it has helped boost my confidence up and I am a much happier person.Try talking to mom and Dad or Grandma and Grandpa or a aunt or uncle.I think medication might help you...Good Luck

Answer 8

You are too young for this.
I've never needed anyone else to build me up.
At your age the biggest worry I had was passing
my drivers test. I did, but failed the eye test.
From then on it was my need for glasses. O-O
I didn't care who liked them. I passed when I went back.
So you know this, a guy can think other woman are
super hot. If they like you, they like you, and that's
alot deeper.
When I am down, I think of all the people who have
life worst off then me, There are so many, and they
can be so young.
We are Blessed.
Live like you know you are Blessed.

Answer 9

Ask your parents to take you to a therapist as soon as possible. You really do need professional help. If your parents are not responsive to your needs then go and talk to a counselor at your school.

You have to find a way to love yourself before you can successfully try to handle a relationship. You are putting too much emphasis on trying to get a boyfriend and not enough emphasis on your own well being.

Answer 10

Why are you letting everyone else determine your mood? You are the only one who can decide to make you happy instead of depressed. Your Mom can't, your Dad can't, some boy can't it is entirely in your hands. You may need therapy however to get you out of the woe-is-me, and everyone-else-controls-what I-think-of- myself mindset. And to learn to be happy. Talk to your family and get some help now so the rest of your life will be a happy, healthy, productive one.