I am 34 years old and my daughter is 15. I consider us to have a fabulous relationship as does she. She can and does ask me anything which at her age I consider to be invaluable. She says I am her best friend although of course she has many friends her own age. My partner says it is wrong to be friends with her and that I should just be her mother, yet I cherish the openess and relationship we have. What do you think, is it wrong?
2006-11-04 05:39:35 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
i am 26yrs old,i was 15 when i had my daughter who is now 11,i suffered so much criticism,but now we see each other as mother/daughter and best friends,i also have 3 other children. my eldest(like i say is 11)knows about contraception,drugs,etc.and thats because i am open and honest with her,if she wants to ask me something private,she knows she doesnt have to feel awkward and embarrassed,thats what i'm there for.i prefer her to ask than feel ashamed or uncomfortable.a mother and daughters relationship is an unbreakable bond,and if you get on like friends,even better.please dont let your partner break this bond as i feel you are doing brilliant,keep it up.
2006-11-04 13:07:12 · answer #1 · answered by stokies 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you're really lucky that you have that relationship right now, and you are right to cherish it. It's not wrong at all, but it may change as her priorities change, don't forget this - as she grows there may be boundaries creeping in, and this might upset things, just as long as you are aware and prepared for such eventualities.
My own mother and I (I'm 38) have had a difficult relationship, I always felt that she was trying to crowd me when I didn't want it, and when I did need her she wasn't as accessible as I would have liked, and put me in the position of being 'second Mum' to my younger sister and brother and (really stupid and spoiled) older brother. Now our relationship is better - but because of the way the relationship was, I am never having children. So you and your daughter are lucky - and you are not wrong.
2006-11-04 13:55:00 · answer #2 · answered by Orla C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As your daughter gets older you will notice a difference in your relationship. My mother is like my best friend (i am 26) but when I was younger she was a strict parent. Daughter and mother relationships should turn into a friendship that way she knows she can talk to you about anything. It sounds like you have done a very good job at being her mother otherwise she would be a resentful and demanding teenager and obviously she is not.
2006-11-04 13:59:15 · answer #3 · answered by clairewENSLEY 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not! It is the best thing that can ever happen for your daughter! My mother was always my best friend and I too cherish our relationship. I am expecting a baby now and I hope I can develop that kind of relationship with my children that she did with hers, because I wouldn't give that up for the world. If she trust you and has a good relationship with you, she is more likely to obey you and understand why. She will be a lot less likely to get herself into trouble and you will have more trust with her because she confides in you. The gift of a wonderful relationship with a mother is the best gift, in my opinion, you can give your daughter...it remains the best gift my mother gave me.
2006-11-04 14:38:16 · answer #4 · answered by jamiasl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can definitely be her best friend! You just need to know when to put your foot down and be her mother too... she will test you, she'll try to pull the "friend" card when she wants to get away with something! Its still very important for her to learn discipline!
But be careful! Right now, because she is so young, things she comes to talk to you about will get more intense as she grows up! And then comes the issue of when she's old enough to go out and party...... she needs her own best friends for that!!
I'm happy to see u have this kind of relationship with your daughter. Knowing that you are there for her must be the best feeling in the world for your daughter!
2006-11-04 13:52:29 · answer #5 · answered by purple_flutterby_13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont see why you cant be her mother and her friend,your very lucky she isnt going through the teenage thing with you,where they hate theyre mum for a few years for laying down rules.
At least if she has any worries she knows she can go to you,we see so many young girls on this site asking questions they should be able to ask mum and cant.
My 2 daughter are a lot older but we are really good friends,i think its wonderful.
2006-11-04 14:12:29 · answer #6 · answered by Pat R 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's wrong my mum feels as if i am her best friend but your relationship is always going to be deeper than that. I am a mother my self now and i feel i am not here to be her friend i am here to do what is best for my daughter if my daughter did the things my best friend and i did when i was young i would hit the roof. I think it's OK as long as she knows your her mother first as mine dose with me it doesn't stop us having fun and being close.
2006-11-04 17:14:49 · answer #7 · answered by evil_puff_morgana 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's good that your daughter is open with you but she needs you to be mom more than a best friend, you only have one mom and she should be a guide on how a young lady carries herself. It's better to cherish the mother daughter relationship, which it seem like you have a good one, just remember your role is mom not best friend.
2006-11-04 14:49:18 · answer #8 · answered by Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a lovely thing. Of course you can be her best friend. how many mothers can boast of the same thing as you? Tell your partner that you can be a mother and friend to your daughter at the same time. Does he not consider you his friend as well as his partner?
2006-11-06 19:12:51 · answer #9 · answered by mamaboo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say that it hasn't been that long ago that I had this conversation with someone else. You really cannot be your child's best friend. you can & should be very close But there has to be a line drawn at "friendship". Friends do not punish or set limits & boundaries. As parents it is our job to do just that. Our son knows that he can come to us with anything & he does. He also knows that we are is parents 1st & foremost. We are responsible for preparing our children for adulthood. Friends cannot do that. There is nothing that says you cannot have a relationship with your child that is as close as that of a friend. You just cannot be their friend & still be the parent.
2006-11-04 20:50:11 · answer #10 · answered by jodi g 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋