I have a joint credit card with my future husband. We both have perfect credit. My mom insists we cancel it?

Question

now. She states that I have made a huge mistake in my credit future. However, prior to opening the account, we (Adam and I) went to our financial advisor who stated that it would be very good for our future together when buying a home.
Who is mistaken? My mom is just looking out for my best interest (no pun intended) and has shown me several articles proving her point.
What is the best course of action? Should I maintain the account or cancel as instructed by mom?
Thank you for your time and assistance.

Hey guys. Adam and I both had perfect credit established well before the opening of our joint. Also, I would love to think that love lasts forever, however, knowing this is the real world....it's fair to add that Adam would never run up credit that he could not pay for in full and on time; regardless of breakup (I wish all adults were so upstanding!).
I hope that clears some questions up, Thanks again!!!!! : )

Answer 1

Princess:

At this stage of the game your mom has no business "insisting" on anything regarding you and your future husband - regardless of her intentions. Read the information she has given you and weigh that against the advice given by your financial adviser. You and your future husband should then make an informed decision.

If you decide to cancel the account both of your credit scores will
be reduced since you no longer have that amount of unused credit available - a factor that increases your score. Weigh that fact against your fiance's proven credit worthiness and discipline in spending. Better a small decrease now for closing the account than a big hit later for defaulting or filing bankruptcy.

The sooner you cut the strings from mom on issues that should be the decision of you and your (future) husband, the better off your marriage and credit report will fair. (Divorce is one of the most frequent reasons for bankruptcy filings.)

Answer 2

I think it would be best, if you can do so, to keep the card open but cut it up so that neither one of you can use it. If that's not possible, I would advise you to close it.

As most people have pointed out, as much as you would like to think you'll be together forever, that's not statistically likely. And while you may trust him now not to run up charges and leave you with the bill, people can change over time and most break-ups are messy and bitter. Not only that, something could happen where one of you runs up a balance and some unexpected financial problem pops up (someone gets sick or laid off) and you can't pay the balance. I'm sure the one who charged up the card would feel very guilty about ruining not only their own credit, but also the person they loves' credit as well.

Answer 3

Speaking as a nationally known lending and credit expert (book, radio shows, newspaper column, etc.)...

A joint account may help and may hurt your credit.

New accounts can lower scores a little, especially if you have major credit already.

On the other hand, as a mortgage lender, I might want to see another account open for 1 day, one year, or two years. I might want it to have high limit of $3000+ in most cases, absent an auto loan. Scores aren't everything in mortgage lending. I'd have to see YOUR credit reports for specific advice. But no selling allowed here, sorry.

Now I do see real, horrible credit messes having to do with joint accounts when couples split up. I've been asked to write a column on this one. This would be the only instance where I'd agree with mom.

Generally, if BOTH you already have at least three major accounts open (auto plus two major credit cards) or even if your auto was paid, you have no need for Joint credit for purposes of a home loan.

Answer 4

Whether or not you put the money back on to the card, your BF's mother will likely still pursue the investigation. Suicide is a ridiculous thought to consider over $500. If you're going to top yourself, it's certainly not worth doing it for such a small amount. The easiest thing to do, for this amount of money, would be to simply admit it. Come up with a good reason why you stole from your mother-in-law, and simply admit it. If you can't face doing it face-to-face, do it with a little more drama - leave a written confession and babbling apology where your mother-in-law will find it, then disappear to a friend's house for a few days. Your mother-in-law will call you and tell you everything is all okay. And all will be well. Probably.

Answer 5

see both points, however, no matter what intentions your mother has, you need to make your own decisions. Even if this is a bad one, it's yours to make and if you let her change your mind about small things such as this, she'll always have that hold over you, even with big decisions. Make up your mind on your own. What would this do to your credit if the marriage didn't happen? Would he be an adult and handle this account correctly, or be an a** about it? If you truly believe in your heart that you and he can handle the situation like adults IF it doesn't work,, then keep it the way it is. Remember, when you mary someone that person is your mate and your parents are not first in your life anymore.

Answer 6

I can see both points.

My husband & I had a child before we were married, yet we still kept our finances seperate. I had been married before and when we got divorced, I got stuck with half of the debt he had run up on our joint card buying things for his girlfriend.

Once my current husband & I got married, we kept some things seperate, and something we brought together.

We have a joint savings and checking account and 1 joint credit card. With the credit card, we have it so that if a purchase is made over $100 an email notification is sent.

We both have our own savings accounts and credit cards. Your joint credit will have nothing to do with your future home buying. We have just been approved for a mortgage and they just took all our information to figure out how much we qualified for.

The only thing I can say about combining your finances is that there is a sense of unity that comes from comingling your money. If is a matter of trust and even though I got screwed before and I am still gun shy, I am happy with the way were have decided to manage our money.

If you have children and you choose to stay home and care for them, keeping seperate accounts is pointless. You will no longer have any income to pay your credit cards.

Answer 7

It sounds like your only risk is Adam racking-up a lot of charges that you could be held responsible for. As long as you pay the bill like all your other bills, it's not going to hurt your credit.
If you trust Adam, there is no reason to cancel it. On the other hand, it makes no difference when buying a home if you have had joint accounts or not (from the lenders' perspective).

Answer 8

If you are an adult, it's up to you. In the light of today's less than perfect score on long lived marriages, I would consider that as a factor.
After my divorce, I was stuck with a bill on a credit card that I had with my ex even though it was given to him in the divorce decree. The company said they would come after me because he refused to pay it and my name was also on the account.
Just food for thought. I know you think your marriage will last forever but I thought that as well.

Answer 9

your mom is worried that IF your Future husband becomes your current EX, then he could run up a large amount on the joint card, and stick you with the debt when he doesn't pay. I tend to agree with mom. I am sure that you are in love, and all that, BUT you never know. i would keep it seperate until mariage, and then discuss. i have been married for 5 yrs, and my wife and I have seperate accounts. it isn't about trust or anything, it is just what works for us. i spend my money, she spends hers. then we never argue about "you spend too much on clothes" or "you bought what????" if i can afford to buy something for myself, OR for the two of us, I buy it. it works for us...

Answer 10

You should tell your mom, with all due respect, that she should mind her own business. Its now you and your future husband. If you do not put boundries to your mother's intrusion into your life, she will not stop and when you will have kids one day, it will get even worse. Remember that this kind of behavior will on one hand alienate your husband and on the other hand your mom won't ever let you handle your life alone like a grown mature woman. Think about it.