How can I control My 5 yr olds anger/ rage ??

Question

My 5yr old is very agresive when he is told no or if he is in a "mood" he will hit ,kick, spit ,throw things , pull hair it is a out right brawl when he gets mad we have tried everything for punishment. We have done time out .He lost ALL of his toys and had to earn them back. I don't know what else to do .

Answer 1

Where is super nanny when you need her?

Young children read body language and listen to voice tones (animal instinct). Note what your child responds to when dealing with each encounter. Kids mirror the way they are treated (they are learning social behavior). Changes in environment can cause severe emotional trauma (starting school, moving, changes in family environment), these things should be discussed with a child not left to be adapted to.
Last and more important then people realize is diet. How does the body respond after several cups of coffee? Sugary foods or ones high in carbs can cause some kids behavior to be uncontrollable.

Answer 2

Well, first of all I believe you spoiled him to start with. That would explain why he don't want to take "No" for an answer. We as parents love our kids so that we want them to have whatever they want and more. So in doing these things that we feel at the time is harmless. We create a mini monster. You've tried everything for punishment now it's time to break out the belt. Use it! What have you got to lose. You better whoop his behind now cause if you don't he's gonna whoop yours very soon. I mean look at him he's trying it now. Don't listen to that BS about whoopings teaches kids voilence. He's doing that now who taught him that. Whoop his butt GOOD. I'm not saying this from what I heard this is what I know. I have raised 6 boys and I am happy to say after a couple of those. I could just look at them a certain way. They'd straighten up. You want have to do it all the time. Sometimes you can just tell him. You want a whoopin'? Neither one of my kids have ever been to jail, juvenile, no drugs, One is in the Air Force, One has worked for Pepsi since he graduated two years ago, One works for the Post Office since he graduated, one is in the 11th grade this year and has made state recognation on the TAAS test every year since he was in the 3 grade, one is on the honor roll every year and one is making B honor roll. So I said that just to say this. People says whoopings scar kids that's a lie. I mean like I said you've tried everything else what have you got to lose. I don't mean beat your child just spank him on his butt. Good Luck and GOD BLESS!!!!! P.S. You spare the rod you spoil the child.

Answer 3

what he likes? there may be some problem that he could not express to you and the which you are not able to find. Communicate with love. you might be given him some punishment which hurt him so much. that he cannot tell you as he was kid. even if you love now i think it wont work. you have to give the child confidence and assurance that you love him. the pulls hair and throws some thing at you act that you get hurt and cry and hug him and tell him that he should not do that and it hurts you. some of the things children wont like don't force them give them liberty to chose what they want with in the means not every thing they want. you might have given him every thing what ever he want that is the reflection of your over luring. be patient and love him it will help you. if you cant do this you consult doctor child psychologist

Answer 4

Physically punishing a child is a controversial topic even amongst counselors. Those against physical punishment will forward several good arguments for not using it ever. They believe, and it is true also, that we can raise children to be agreeable (disciplined), responsible and productive adults without ever hitting them. There are several alternatives to beating a child. Hitting them carries the risk of releasing the pent-up anger that most of the parents carry (unrelated, of course). This anger generally finds an outlet in child beating and may end in child abuse. Most parents who resort to beating as a last resort (as it definitely "breaks a child's will" find later in life that they had underestimated the child's determination. Worse still, physical punishment teaches a child to hit out when angry.

Other forms of discipline are more constructive, leaving a child with some sense of guilt that contributes to the formation of a conscience.


These guidelines will definitely help.

* Hit only on the buttocks, legs or hands. Hitting a child on the face is demeaning as well as dangerous as a hard hit on the cheek/ear may lead to a perforated ear drum.
* Hit only with an open hand through clothing. If you are using an object other than your hand, it may be difficult to judge how hard you are hitting. Belts and serving spoons should never be used. Mothers should be careful in the kitchen; many a children are living with burn marks on the face!
* Hit only once! After all you are trying to change behaviour. Hitting more than once is only relieving your anger and not teaching your child anything additional.
* After the age of 5 to 6 years (school going) use negotiation and discussion to resolve most differences. Never hit children less than 1 year of age.
* Never hit your child when YOU ARE out of control. Remember hitting him is for disciplining and not to punish. If you can't control your rage, you need help more than your child.
* Discipline is nothing but self-control and aggressive children need to be taught that. Don't use physical punishment for aggressive behaviour like biting, hitting or kicking. Physical punishment under such circumstances teaches a child that it is all right for a bigger person to strike a smaller person. They respond best to isolation as it gives them an opportunity to think about the pain they have caused.
* Isolating a child in a corner or bedroom for a time-out is much more civilized and effective. Learn how to use such forms of discipline.
* Some parents have a habit of vigorously shaking children. Avoid it as it carries a serious risk of causing blood clots on the brain.(subdural haematomas).
* Don't use physical punishment more often as it will be less effective

hope this has helped
try being friendly with your kid and het involved in his activities

Answer 5

First remember that whatever you do dont shout back. this only make him think that the more agressive person wins the battle. also make sure no other member of family fights in front of him.

I read this somewhere, when you kid doesnt listen to you, instead of shouting and rising your BP, start wispering (i know its a classic example of easier said than done). this will distract the childs mind as he will strain to hear what you are saying. also scolding, hitting locking them up regularly makes the children loose the fear of the punishment as they get uased to it. instead try bycotting. tell your chil once firmly that no one will talk to him untill he talks civilly and asks what he wants politely and then stick to your words. let him throw tantrums as much as he wants to. when he realizes its not getting him any where he will stop. it might take time to instill descipline and you will need all the patience in the world to do it, but this is the right time to do it.

Answer 6

Analyse the period when he usually gets very angry. My daughter used to be in foul mood whenever she was hungry. In such situations we try to feed her first instead of punishing her. Punishment should be in the form of refusing to replace the broken toys or buying new toys. Punishing the child in the form of starvation or dark room technique may aggravate the problem.

Answer 7

I think you should find help because i have never heard a 5yr old kick, SPIT, throw things , and especially pull hair.

Answer 8

Has he been seen by a psychologist? Maybe some one who specializes in ADD/ADHD or Autism? Maybe you could just ask the kid why he's so pissed all the time, let him know,in no uncertain terms, that his behaviour will not be tolerated. Set strict limits and stick to them. Most kids with behaviour problems respond pretty well to more structured environments. Good luck.

Answer 9

We had a kid like that but at a younger age (3). We just had to persist and everytime he put on a turn we just sent him to his room and put him in there till he calmed down (and smacks for really shocking behaviour). We would tell him that when he was ready to apologise then he could come down (and apologise with out that 'look' on his face). We stuck to our guns and after 6 VERY long months he actually got the message and is now the nicest kid you could imagine. It was a very hard time for us however.

Stick your heels in and don't waver.

Answer 10

Hes looking for attention so keep him occupied. dont get aggresive no mater how he tests you that would show a weakness to him and he will exploit this. keep talking to him and let him help you with things when he wants.. even at the table talk to him and keep his attention. try and keep calm at all times and dont crack because he will see in a short while that your not affected by his tantrums and he will see it as a waste of time . I promise you faithfully it works. Stay calm at all times its very hard but when you see the change it will be very easy.