i am engaged to a man 12 years older than me,can this age difference affect my married life?

Question

im engaged to a man 12 years older than me,to what extent can age difference affect married life and how.Im confused if i made a mistake especially now when i know my fiance is more concious about the age difference v have between us.We both are very keen to live a happy married life but can this issue be a hinderance in living a happy married life in all its aspects.

Answer 1

I don't think so unless you guys plan on having children. Mentally if you two plan on having children then him being 12 years older then you may mean he might have a few things to think about, but if you guys are ok in that area then you two are fine.

Answer 2

I once dated a man 15 years older than me. It definitely created a lot of issues to work through. I am not sure how old you/he are, so I can't really answer this very well. All I can tell you is my experience. When we met, I was 18 and he was 33. I know that sounds crazy, but he was pretty immature for his age. A crazy rock n roll type. Anyways, we constantly had problems because he thought my friends were too girly/gigly/immature, and I had problems with his because they would sit around and talk about situations I couldn't really relate to--- like marriage, music and movies from before my time, even jokes I was too young to understand just because I wasn't born when the things they made reference to were popular. Also, I couldn't drink at that time in public, so it hindered us from going everywhere together.
There were a lot of nights he went out with friends to 21+ places, and I had to stay home or go out with my friends, worrying the whole time about what he was getting into. That might not be an issue for you, since I don't know your age. But the conversation thing is a big one, no matter what age you are. There's just things he's experienced that you haven't, and they are a part of him that you will never fully understand. If these aren't issues for you right now, then maybe your situation is different from mine. But still, it sounds like you have reservations about SOMETHING, which alone tells me that you're not quite ready for the marriage step. Just date longer and see how it goes. Good luck!

Answer 3

If you are compatible, then no. Age does not necessarily dictate maturity levels. Historically, those age differences are the success stories. Until the last half century or so, it was more commonplace for men to marry much younger than their own ages. During the last 50 or so years, the divorce rates have skyrocketed. I don't mean to imply the opposite, that marrying someone your own age would have a negative effect on the success rate-only that it's worked the other way around for a long time so there's no reason to think that an age difference would mean less chance of success. It's about level of commitment, no matter how old you are. Marriage isn't always easy regardless of any age factors.

Answer 4

Well a lot of it depends on how old you are at present. If your a young female of say 18 - 20 and are engaged to a male of 30 - 32 then I believe it will definately affect your life together. The music you listen too, the friends you have and the things you enjoy doing for entertainment will probably all be different. But if you are say 40 or older than it will probably not have as big an effect as their will not be children to raise etc. Regardless you and your fiance need to communicate what trails and tribulations you both believe will have an effect on your union.

Answer 5

If you're both over 70 now it's not a problem, but if you are under 30 it's a big problem. The closer you get to 30 the less you'll have in common with your husband, until you start to think about him as your father instead of your husband. If he's got older kids from another relationship, your chances of a happy marriage are even less.

Better quit while you're ahead and find someone your own age to love, honor, and cherish till death do you part.

Answer 6

It can only cause problems if one of you makes a big deal of it. For an adult 12 years is not such a big difference, 22 years yes 12 no. If you have good communication I dont see where the age matters. Best of luck to both of you.( by the way older men are usually already over all the crap that young guys go through clubs, partying etc.)

Answer 7

As long as you are madly in love for each other everythings ok, you'll love him for everything he is and isn't. When you get older maybe you'll be attracted to guys that are the same age as you are, and also (I don't say you are but could be) that maturity can be an issue that later on will be more important because you will like to do things that are more according to your age and your man would not want to. But, as I said before if you love each other then the differences are something you will get used to and age is something not important at all. The final decision is in your hands, take a time to think about it on your own. Wish you luck.

Answer 8

I agree with USMCstingray's answer....Because he is my husband. And what he is telling you is truth. We even each other out. He completes me, and I complete him. We are very much in love and happy together, and i thank god for it everyday. Our age difference is what makes us so special as a couple. Because of his age and experience, he keeps me interested and intrigued all day every day. And i suppose because im younger and a little bit wilder at times, I keep him guessing what will happen next. So we work out perfectly. Age is just a number, but it does make a slight difference in the things you have in common. Me and my hubby are alot alike even though there is a 13 yr age gap there. And our differences are great too because we keep learning things from one another. I think (some) older men, are more settled and established. They know what they want out of life and with a life partner, so there is no games to play with them. My husband is 35 yrs old, and he just gets sexier and more distinguished every day. How could a guy my age ever compete with that? *smiles*
Good luck sweetie!

Answer 9

My husband is 9 years older than I am. I am 24 and he is 33. I am very mature for my age, and I think that makes the difference. I had no interest in younger males. Yes, there are some differences though, I'm not going to lie. However, there are issues in ANY marriage. You need to weight the things you see as issues to be large or small, and base your decision off of that.

As for us, our differences are all small we feel. And, our differences are what gives us things to talk about. It's not always great to have everything in common.

Follow your heart, don't listen to people when they gasp at your age difference, and do what makes you happy!

Answer 10

If you're having some doubts then I suggest you break off the engagement. It's better to be safe than sorry. If he really does want this to work then he would allow you to have some space and think about it. Generally speaking, I don't think that age affects a marriage as much as the maturity level. If you're on the same level mentally speaking then I think you'd be fine.

Answer 11

Yeah some one that much older can be good and bad. One reasoon they dont act like a child. They already know whats what so there should be no game playing involved. Then he can be placing you in a childs postion, trying to direct you every step. At first you might think its cute, but then youre going to get tried of it. He might try to control every aspect of you like. Youre man, u should know exactly how he reacts before you get married. Take this engament period as a time where you can learn him inside and out.