My 7-year-old son is unable to keep quiet during class. His teacher e-mails me with concerns of him whistling, getting out of his seat, talking to his classmates, etc. I know that these are common problems, but we have discussed with him the importance of behaving during class so he doesn't interrupt his classmates. Now, we have recently caught him lieing about various things. At school, his teacher uses a red/yellow/green light system. Green=good day, yellow=she may have had to tell him to settle down once or twice, red=he was bad. Everyday we ask how his day was, and he usually tells us that he gets yellow, but we come to find out that he has received a lot of red lights.
He attends a private school and earns great grades. We just are unable to get through to him. We tried taking away video games, early bed times, no dessert treats, etc. Does anyone have any suggestions to get him to behave in class and not to lie??
2006-11-04 04:35:41 · 22 answers · asked by frustrated parent 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Well, he's lying to you because he's afraid of punishment. We've run into the same sort of problem with my five year old son, and what we did is designate one chair in the house as 'safe space'. It's a spot where we can sit down, and he can talk about how badly things went for him that day, without having to face punishment for it. We've been able to root out a lot of things that way. Once he knows he won't be punished for it, he can tell you straight out if he had a red day, and then, rather than trying to punish, you can discuss openly WHY he had a red light day.
Regardless of what you try, I wish you the best of luck. I know how frustrating this sort of situation can be.
2006-11-04 05:27:14 · answer #1 · answered by Kareen L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son did the same thing. He was diagnosed with ADHD. He, and others with ADHD, lie because they don't want to disappoint you. Believe me, he is struggling every day to fit in and "be good" and do his work. He just can't control his behavior. It sounds like he is behaving impulsively- which is one of the symptoms. Positive reinforcement works great but most teachers are too busy or don't care enough to take the time with kids who are a challenge in the classroom. Medication also works great when necessary but I've read that emotional stresses can cause the same symptoms as ADHD for some kids. If I were you, I would talk to his pediatrician. The teachers won't be able to help you figure it out- they can only use words like- trouble focusing or staying on-task or impulsive. One more thing, punishing him for lieing is very important- but he should not be punished for his behavior at school- he can't help it and he wants to do better more than anything. Hope this helps.
2006-11-04 07:57:06 · answer #2 · answered by wondering woman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will have to NEVER have a little one rather than for the purpose of...in need of a further little one. To have a little one simply to assuage the opposite is ridiculous. Children are pricey (as I'm definite you understand), time drinking, and will have to be introduced into this international out of affection. Not so your different little one will quit having mood tantrums. All kids have mood tantrums. Does the notion of now not one however TWO kids pitching a have compatibility sound attractive to you? It's only a section. Raising kids is tough. Every age has its tricky durations. You'll get via the tantrums sooner or later, after which transfer directly to the following "section". Good success
2016-09-01 07:05:52 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, try moving him to another class. I once had a teacher who i HATED her teaching methods, and I miss behaived in class. She would flip out and report home that I was worse than I actually was. Also, ask him WHY he does such things, and what he thinks of his teacher and all that stuff. If he won`t talk to you, go to school with him. Chances are he may behave then, or act the same. Its embarassing to have a parent go to school with you for any age. It will also give you a good idea of whats really going on. As for the punishment; experiment. Use all sorts of thearies and ideas. Every kid is different; you`ll just need to find what works.
2006-11-04 04:44:09 · answer #4 · answered by Veruca 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe your son is a clever boy. Maybe you can try the opposite way instead of asking on how his behaviour in class. Read some stories about lying and tell him about the consequences of it. Not sure you have heard of a person told a lie about the wolf and in the end nobody trusts him and he got eaten up by the wolf?
This will make him think and he is also learning. When he has good behaviour praise him. Learn his way of love language, it will draw your family relationship closer. Well, I can't tell you much about love languages in detail. You may buy the book 'The Five Love Languages for Kids' by Gary Chapman. His book is very easy to read and very interesting.
GOD bless
2006-11-04 04:58:17 · answer #5 · answered by Wenice W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's having trouble controlling his own behaviour. Have him checked out by a behaviour specialist, but don't just readily leap to the conclusion that he has ADHD... way too many kids get misdiagnosed with that these days.
Also... don't worry about the lying. That's a symptom of whatever else is going on with him having trouble staying put and staying quiet. Of course he's going to lie... he knows that if he tells the truth he will get in trouble and have his video games taken away, etc.
2006-11-04 04:45:07 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Last year my son was diagnosed with adhd he did the same things as your son. My son's therapist has told me to say " it hurts my feelings when I am not being told the truth" it works with my son. Ask the school psychologist to do an evaluation on him , take the evaluation to a psychiatrist or just call a psychiatrist with your concern
2006-11-05 06:55:27 · answer #7 · answered by Heather M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Besides taking away things and punishing bad behavior, do you reinforce good behavior consistantly? Do you reward him when he does good? (Not just at school, but at home?)
Everyone shouts about add and adhd, but it's best to exhaust all resources before your kid gets put on pills before he can read the ingredients he's consuming.
It may be add/adhd but they can sometimes be managed with patience without medications and expensive therapy...
2006-11-04 04:46:15 · answer #8 · answered by Gotham Princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, i'm 10 and rarely lie but when i do my parrents ground me for a month, that always works and i'm board so i end up doing extra credit work for school to pass the time
2006-11-04 09:21:47 · answer #9 · answered by soijanaladybug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Behavior like that is generally symptomatic of ADD, especially when combined with the fact that he is capable of getting good grades.
That said, athletic activities often help with ADD symptoms. Have you considered finding a sport for him to participate in?
2006-11-04 04:45:41 · answer #10 · answered by Brian L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋