My mother is from the old country and does not like the different lifestyle here. She and my father attend church and harrasses all her children to attend. I don't attend only because I believe that going to church should be the time when you are truly giving your life to god and following his word, and at this point I'm not ready. To tell her that she basically says I'm a bad daughter and that I will suffer and what I do is embarrasing her and my Dad.
To visit them is very strained as the only subjects she talks about is the church, how she hates my husband, job,my awful kids (their not), and my other sibs. My teenage children have seen this and can not share their opinion because she makes them feel unworthy and stupid. She compares us to others that appeal to her and how we should be more like them. Rarely do we come away feeling happy and she likes to wave money in our faces if we do what she says. Should I visit her anyways even if I feel so angry and hurt after?
2006-11-04 04:24:03 · 8 answers · asked by trojan 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
NO WAY its not healthy for you or your CHILDREN. I feel that if your parents cant love you unconditionally then they are not true parents. Not to mention in the Lords eyes we are all perfect and all can be forgiven. If you choose not to be church bound then thats your choice and if mom and dad cant accept that then maybe you should just keep your visits to absolute musts only and certinatly do not bring the children along. Physcologically this is causing serious damage to your childrens physical and mental well being. I think, from one parent to another whom has had similar problems you should think of your kids first. I am sorry you have to deal with this cause its truely difficult to know that your parents are not accepting of who you are and where your headed in life. You may not be religious as nor am I but when I am alone sometimes I pray that someday My mother will open her heart to me and love me like she is surposed to. Who ever you are, I send you my best. Try to remain hopeful. My answer is NO SPARE YOURSELF THE HEART ACHE AND SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU FOR YOU IT REALLY HELPS!
2006-11-04 04:40:19 · answer #1 · answered by cjpburgess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have reached a point where you could live just as easily without her in your life as you could with her in it, It is time to tell her how you feel.
Talk to her face to face. Let her know that you appreciate all she has done for you in the past. That you love and respect her and that she is entitled to her opinions but that things can't continue as they have in the past. That you have your own family and they need to come first. Tell her that you want her to be part of your family's lives but she need to respect the decisions that you make and the people that you are.
If she can't do that, you have your answer.
2006-11-04 04:40:55 · answer #2 · answered by hazydaze 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is your mother... like it or not. She raised you and educated you and i suppose visiting her a couple of hours would not hurt you too much. Just don't say anything back to her should she say bad things that you rather not hear cos that will definately start a fight... you could try talking to your aunt/uncles (your mum's siblings) to see if there is a way to understand your mum... she may be going through a bad period in her life. I'm sure you'll find a way to get through to her. She is your mum anyway...
2006-11-04 04:45:57 · answer #3 · answered by Rin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not visit my mother if she treated me like that and as believer in Jesus Christ I think your mother is a hypocrite. She claims to be a follower of God and yet she does not share His love to you. It seems to me that keeping up appearances is more important to her than the well being of her children. Christians are supposed to love and support, not pass judgment.
2006-11-04 04:35:37 · answer #4 · answered by Eileen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There will come a time when you will no longer be able to "pick up the phone and hear her voice".
Allow your children to make a choice about visiting, their relationship with their Grandparents should be separate to yours.
2006-11-04 04:30:11 · answer #5 · answered by Doubting Thomas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God , what church does she go to that tells her to treat
her family like that , see this is exactly why I don't believe in
organized religion .
2006-11-04 05:44:00 · answer #6 · answered by Geedebb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is okay to love someone from a distance.
2006-11-04 04:27:15 · answer #7 · answered by Lou 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i would if i were asked to but i bring a gun jis so if it got ugly lol jk i didnt read ur thing its to long so i dunno
2006-11-04 04:46:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋