Discipline For A 3 Year Old Boy....HELP?

Question

I've a 3 year old son. I love him to death but he drives me crazy. He never listens to anything I say to him. When I say I'm going to put him in time-out he laughs, and says I don't care, and if I say I'm going to spank him, he says," so just spank me". He's way out of control, and I don't know what else to do. I also have a 17 month old son, and the 3 year old is always hurting him "sometimes very badly" and all he does is just laugh at his brother's crying and screaming. He gets pleasure from hurting him. I don't know what to do anymore, I've even tried not giving him candy, or throwing his toys away when he throws them at people, but yet he still keeps up this rediculous behavoir. What should I do???

Answer 1

Your son probably has a form of Oppositional Defiant Disorder. This can be reversed with treatment (not drugs but therapy or different discipline strategies). I have 2 kids and one is exactly like that and the other one puts herself in time out! It has nothing to do with you just some kids come out challenging the world and that is great we need people like that but it has to be channeled in a positive direction. You are luck y he is young enough to change quickly. I waited too long to bring this to my doctors attention and it is taking longer to reverse. It is not a "stage" you have the power to change it.

Check out this page.
http://aacap.org/page.ww?name=Children+with+Oppositional+Defiant+Disorder§ion=Facts+for+Families

keep calm and good luck.

Answer 2

But are you doing it anyway? Sounds like he knows if he challenges you you back down. Follow through. Put his time out in his room and ignore him (but have his brother in with you).
If he is being disciplined for hurting his brother use the spanking. If he says so what, spank him anyway. If this alone doesn't work combine it with the time out in his room. This kind of behavior is dangerous to his brother and must be addressed more strongly than just a time out.
You might also try a reward system in combination. He sounds a bit jelouse so give him time without the baby around and maybe, as a treat for good behavior an outing-just the two of you. Subject to being taken away for bad behavior.
If you are doing all of this but it isn't working consult a pediatric psychiatrist. He may need more than you alone can do to get him under control.

Answer 3

As bad as it sounds to say your 3 year old is driving you crazy really isn't bad, it comes with the terrible 3's and so on. There is this saying, be loving but firm. When you tell your son you are going to spank him for doing something wrong, do you actually do it? You have to follow through, let him know that mom is the boss and always will be, at least till he is 18. He is 3 so put him in time out for 3 full minutes, yes he will through a fit but that's how they learn. The last advise I have for you is to ignore them when they are being bad, only to a certain extent though, they hate to be ignored.

Answer 4

From what you've written, it sounds like your son doesn't believe you are going to follow through with what you say. For example, you said "When I say I am going to put him in time-out". You didn't mention actually putting him in time-out. There is a big difference. If he knows you aren't going to follow through, why should he change his behavior? For minor things, give him one warning, then straight to time-out. If he gets up, put him back. Keep doing it until he has finished out his time (usually a minute per year of age). For big things, like hurting his brother, there should be no warning. He should go straight to time-out, and when it's over, explain exactly why he was there. You have to have zero tolerance for hurting his brother. If you do these things consistently and quickly, he should get the picture. It's also helpful to praise him when he is playing nicely, or cooperating. Good luck.

Answer 5

Two big motivators:
1) Fear of loss: what is something he really likes - that is a bigger threat than a smack
2) desire for gain: bribe or reward - Santa Claus is coming to town

1) get 3 things he LOVES - a t-shirt; a DVD; a toy - let him know the order of things
Have a colorful chart on the fridge.
If something bad happens 3 times, take him outside to watch his t-shirt being burnt.
If you have threatened anything and not followed through, he thinks you are weak. the $10 shirt is worth going ahead with the threat and will shake his bad behaviour

Answer 6

Hello Madi, is there a father in the scenario? Maybe if he expresses a no nonsense atitude towards the child he will understand. It sounds like you might be just a little to light on the situation. Try the ignore phase and see how he likes that.

Answer 7

omg, it sounds like your son has been possessed by evil demons from the underworld hun, itll be ok though. spank him until he cries, send him to a shrink, pad his room in grey air mattresses and lock him in it for 24 hours with nothing but a book and a bagel, take him to church, tell him that he will spontaniously combust if he doesnt stop hurting people then find a movie with someone dying and shoe him the one seen where someone stops breathing ans ays thatll happen to u if u dont stop being mean, cause mean ppl lead unhappy lives...

it really does sound like something is seriously wrong with him, keep ur baby away from him, and most deffinatly keep this demonic child in a padded grey room with little food and nothing that will spur urges of violence. take this as seriosly as possibly, maybe your child needs solitary confinment for a bit or something. this is really bad.

Answer 8

The day trip is unquestionably a thank you to bypass. sit down her down someplace like interior the front room or the kitchen and then walk far flung from her, yet confirm you're someplace the place you will locate her and he or she will't see you. then you definately can shop an eye fixed on her and confirm she keeps to be positioned. enable her cry her little eyes out, and as quickly as she is complete, then you definately bypass as much as her with a calm yet stern voice and tell her what she did incorrect and inspire her to convey regret. you in basic terms would desire to be the mummy, be the rule of thumb maker and be somebody she will discover ways to admire, regardless of if she is feeling disenchanted. and of path, as quickly as each thing has been regarded after out, a great number of love is the main suitable therapy! stable success!

Answer 9

Dont just tell him your gunna spank him do it. But when you spank him pull out the belt and spank him like 3 times on the butt. It may sound bad to pull out the belt and hit him with the belt but there is a limit to when to have that kind of behavior. It worked with me.

Answer 10

Take him to his doctor. There is something wrong when a child derives pleasure out of hurting others.