Lately I feel as though I have to keep my boyfriend emotionally interested in me. I feel pressured to make a lasting impression on him, crazy right? He's my boyfriend! I shouldn't have to try to impress him. Or worry he's not thinking about me from time to time while we are apart. Still, that insecurity of whether he still has feelings for me or not is still there. And as much as I try to be sweet and loving and surprise him with cute notes and texts or calls, I feel like I've somehow failed. Is something wrong with me? Am I being too hard on myself? Maybe I'm too paranoid. Or he's just plain hard to please?
2006-11-04 02:30:48 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've actually told him how I feel, but I never get a clear response, if no response at all from him. It's aggravating. So this is why I'm asking here.
And yes, he does tell me he loves me. I've also tried not being too needy or pushy by not calling or texting him and he gets upset when I don't.
2006-11-04 02:47:02 · update #1
I guess its hard to give you one answer here. It sounds to me as if you are insecure, but a lot of times a person will feel this way when their companion isnt doing their part. Yes, I think you are definetly being too hard on yourself, you shouldnt have to constantly run around trying to please this guy. By the sounds of it, thats the last thing he is trying to do for you. How does he respond to your efforts? Maybe he's trying to show you how much you mean to him, but you wont see it. Or maybe he's just put off by all of the extra effort you have been showing. Either way, I can't judge the man so I'll just say this - the guy must like you or he wouldn't be in a relationship with you. Stop running around trying to fix something that you arent sure is broke. And maybe you should ask him how he feels about you, and let him know what has been bothering you. Men are far from mind readers, believe me! Good luck doll. ;-)
2006-11-04 02:38:56 · answer #1 · answered by Reese 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to answer some questions to yourself honestly first of all. If you need to worry you'll know. Long-distance relationships are hard in many ways, you have to find a balance in the way you communicate with your boyfriend. How often do you talk? How many times in a day or a in a week? How many times does he call you? Is he working abroad? Is he trying to get used to a new city, a community, Is there something that he has to work out? How long does he away from you? Maybe he is getting some hard time to deal his new job?? etc.
Also keep in mind that when you were together you both could find time for each other but basically (and probably) because you were at the same school, same job or live close. What I am trying to say is that it is normal that you can't find time during day time as much as you used to be.
My girlfriend is also has the same problem. I can't find time to call her as often as I used to. (Talk to him by the way it works I am trying to call her as soon as I find time) Most of the time I am at school or in the bus or so on. but I think of her all the time. And keep that in mind that boys first need to succeed their job so that their mind is free for love, but girls need love to free their mind to succeed:)
And you are a woman! Instinctively you should know how to make him your slave! good luck just don't worry
2006-11-04 03:03:38 · answer #2 · answered by bt the tooth fetish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, I think what you are really saying is " I give my boyfriend lots of attention but he does not do the same." You have to answer if he is really in love with you. Just because he says he loves you it may just be an easy thing for him to say because you want to hear it. If he really loved you then you would know it and you would not be insecure. His actions, thoughfullness, and general eagerness to be together would indicate committment to you and the relationship. If he is just there like a bump on a log then either he is not mature enough to show love or does not really feel it. He may just be with you till someone else comes along. There is nothing wrong with you as you sound sweet and giving however if you are not feeling fullfilled in this relationship then its time to move on. I am giving this advice as a mature man and wish you good luck.
2006-11-04 02:43:14 · answer #3 · answered by azjimhowe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its natural to always be a little bit paranoid when in a relationship. From what i see i dont think you have "failed" and you might be a little to hard on yourself. In a relationship, usually there is no need to constantly imprece the other. but a little bit everynow and then is good. I think you two need to have a sit down talk and tell each other how you feel. Im sure it will work out.
2006-11-04 02:38:44 · answer #4 · answered by Alicia R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he tell you often that he likes/loves you ? Maybe it's the fact that you don't get that often or he doesn't quite put it across to you that he still does care about you that's got you worrying, or maybe it's something else. Just ask him from time to time or something, do you like/love me ? But not too often because then that'll just be dull. Just try and make him get in the habit of telling you sweet stuff like that, txting you during the day and so on...
2006-11-04 02:36:56 · answer #5 · answered by Triathlete88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The person you should be asking this question to is your boyfriend. Maybe he's not interested in you anymore, who knows? But that doesn't mean that you've failed at anything. Just because you love someone, doesn't mean that you're supposed to be with them, you know? If things aren't going the way you want, talk to him, try to fix them together. Doing it alone will never work. And if it doesn't work, then it's probably time for you to move on. When you're ready for that, my phone number is... lol :)
2006-11-04 02:34:30 · answer #6 · answered by czekoskwigel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you ask him. but on the way you are asking the question. you might just be to paranoid. don't be too insecure. is there a reason to be insecure of? you should observe his reactions when you are surprising him if he's happy then nothing top worry about. be confident.
2006-11-04 02:38:50 · answer #7 · answered by twenty_four 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seem's to me that your trying to hard & perhap's he's secretly enjoying you falling over him,try to back off abit,if he is really interested in you he'll realise how your feeling & perhaps give you the attention you crave from him.Good luck
2006-11-04 02:36:41 · answer #8 · answered by Andrea C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have all gone through that stage. It is normal. We are trying to keep the sparks going for as long as possible.
2006-11-04 02:34:38 · answer #9 · answered by Zooya 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you might be being to hard on ur self but if he didnt love u he wouldnt be with u
2006-11-04 02:32:54 · answer #10 · answered by Angel4fire 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋