How to teach a 4 year old to conform in public?

Question

We are pretty relaxed at home. We dont jump on using earthy words (but we do clamp down on swear words), but my 4 year is now using those earthy words at daycare. Yesterday when I picked him up, the day care teacher basically told me off for him using inappropriate words and actions (laughing when he or someone else burps or farts) in daycare. This teacher is quite strict and does NOT have children of her own. How can I teach my son to be himself, without squashing his spirit, and yet be able to sort of behave in public. I am really against being a "conformist".

Answer 1

Some how you have to make him understand that its ok at home and only at home that everybody isn't like you all ; but its ok for those people to feel the way they do. The older he gets he will chill out but he's a boy and boys get off on stuff like that . I have a 4 year old boy myself burps and farts are the funniest things to him. Your son probably isn't the first she's had to deal with and she has no sense of humor. Kids are kids. I'm not a comformist either but in school you have to be somewhat.

Answer 2

I think you need to squash his spirit -- a little.

Children that age aren't able to discern between casual "home" talk and special behavior for public.

You don't want him to have problems making friends or not be invited to friends' homes when he's older because kids might think he's obnoxious or embarassing?

I'm guessing this is your first child if you don't him to conform to societal norms. If you had more children or older children you'd see why conforming has benefits.

Your child doesn't have to be a robot or perfect, but conformity is good. Prisons are full of non-conformists and free thinkers.

Answer 3

Unfortunately reteaching is not easy at this age. All his life he has been able to do as he pleases. You now must teach him MANNERS.

I'd find a kid book that explains good manners and go over it with him every day till he understands. Praise him when he does a GOOD job. When he messes up say that this is not how this is done and explain the process over again.

This is going to be tough but you need to do this so he will be able to out into society.

Answer 4

You son should have been taught proper manners as a baby, of course the teacher at day care is going to tell you your child acts inappropriately because he DOES. The first and MOST important teacher a child ever has are his/her parents and look at what you've taught your child. You have taught him to be rude and obnoxious. If you so against being a conformist they what the hell are you doing on an internet message board asking how to make your son conform?

Answer 5

This should have been taught to you son from the beginning. My children know how they act at home isn't always the appropriate way to act in public or at someone else's home.

Answer 6

just tell him that he can do this at home but not when he goes to school bc it hurts some ppl feelings. he will understand that.