When kids are being taught one thing by one set of parents, what is the other set of parents to do?

Question

My husbands 3 kids live with their mother and step-father. The mom was cheating on my husband with the step-day while she was still pregnant with my youngest step-daughter, so this man has been in these kids lives for a long time. He acts as if these are his kids. He seems to be a very domineering man and looks like he makes all the rules in their house. The mom has interfiered in my husbands visitation for as long as I have been married to him. If they have some other plans, she tells my husband that he can't see the kids. As much as she has done this the kids, except for my stepson, are not very close to my husband. The girls in fact, call their stepdad "DAD" and my husband by his name. I have kept from saying anything to their mom and stepdad, but I think my husband needs too. The stepdad is all of a sudden really religious and wont let the girls where pants. Big change from a guy who was found to be abusing them about 6 years ago. Should my hubby talk to the mom or the kids?

He does have court ordered visitation, but the mom seems to feel that they don't pertain to her. I don't know what DHS is though.

Answer 1

Your Hubby should get an attorney to file visitation rights. If visitation rights are already established through the courts, you can have the courts enforce those rights. Also if the stepdad has sexually or in any other way abused the children your husband should file for custody on those grounds, allowing ONLY supervised visits with the birthmom and stepdad (or the stepdad can be refused visitation altogether). If the childrens wellbeing is at stake, do not wait to do something. I am not offering legal advise, as I am not an attorney. These are only suggestions. Also, the stepdad requiring the girls to Not wear pants, would be a red flag warning to me that the abuse has continued or increased. Save the children from harm. Speak your mind.
DHS is Department of Human Services. They will help to enforce visitation. Their job is to protect children in matters such as this. Have your husband call them right away. DHS is also referred to as DCS: Dept. of Childrens Services.

Answer 2

Yes, your husband has every right to talk to the mom and to the step dad. Those are his children as well as they are hers. But if I was you I would talk to my husband about the situation and I would also contact a Family Law Attorney in your hometown, and get that court order modified. He has so many rights as the biological father and that lawyer would be able to help you all out a lot!

Answer 3

YES!! Why would he stand around and let this go on? Those are HIS children. He has a say so in how they are raised and visitation. The court should have gave him visitation. She has to follow those visitation guidelines. If she doesn't, your husband can call DHS and they will make her. He needs to stand up for his children.

Answer 4

ill be praying for u, i seriously will, it seems like a giant pickle to have to take care of, if the courts have the visitation thing set up and she isnt rooting for it tell the courts they need to look into her mothering, and as for the name thing, make sure dad tells the girls how much he loves them each and every day. as for the beating that is enough to land this asshole in jail so break on through to the other side baby and good luck, i WILL be praying for u.

Answer 5

Your hubby needs a lawyer. His childrens' well being is at stake. Just bear in mind, he may opt to do nothing, and you can't change that. Frustrating I know, but you can't make someone do something, even if it's the right thing.

Answer 6

HONEY YOU NEED TO BE TALKING TO ALL OF THEM I WOULD FIRST TALK TO MY HUSBAND AND THEN TOGETHER TALK TO THE KIDS. WHAT THEY SAY THEN I WOULD DIFFENTLY GO TO THE MOTHER. WHAT THEY AS THE PARENTS ARE DOING ISN'T RIGHT. IT NEEDS TO BE FIXED FOR THE CHILDREN ASAP. ARE THEY FORCED TO CALL THIS MAN DAD?